This has been a week of worry.  I've really worked hard in my life on letting go of the worry, since I seem to worry all the time.  But anyone would worry if their son wasn't feeling good.  This week Ryne has begun to feel worse.  He's missed the past 3 1/2 days of school.  This illness has gone on for over 3 weeks now.  It's consuming his life.  He can't do P.E., he'll likely miss the entire football season, and his grades are suffering.  This is not to mention his lethargy.  He's just not the same kid.  It's hard to see.

It was also the wrong time for P.M.S., and subsequent Aunt Flow, just as a side note.

As I mentioned the other day, Ryne's abdominal x-ray showed an enlarged spleen and liver.  We finally got the ultrasound results back, and thankfully those measurements came back normal.  We are grateful for those results, but at the same time, we are wondering what in the heck is wrong with him.

We met again with the Dr. this morning.  While the Dr. is taking it seriously, he also started asking how everything was at home for Ryne.  He talked about how the tests haven't come back with any explanation for the stomach pain, and maybe it's related to anxiety about the move, new school, etc.  I told him that's what I thought at first, but it's simply not the case.  I see him every day.  He's sick.  He started in on the results again, and I told the Dr., look we are both frustrated, but there is something wrong with my son.  This is not in his head.  The Dr. said he was going to run the same blood tests they did 2 weeks ago to see if anything had changed.  He also ordered an upper G.I. for next week.  He prescribed medicine that would treat an ulcer or gastroenderitis (or whatever it's called), on top of the acid reflux meds Ryno's on.  The Dr. said, if Ryne didn't feel better in 2 weeks, he would refer him to the Children's Hospital in .  I told him 2 weeks seemed like way too long, that Ryne is suffering.  I hated having to ask those questions and be demanding, but it was necessary.  The Dr. agreed to get an opinion from the Children's Hospital today, to make sure we were on the right path.  I don't understand why we have to fight the way we do to get the care for our kids that they deserve.  I don't get it.  I left the Dr.'s office so frustrated and spent.

I stayed home with Ryne until Brian got home, and then I ran out to get his homework and prescription.  At the last second, I decided to take Jesse with me.  Yesterday, it all got to me and I didn't get her out or get my steps in.  So, we went for our walk through the forest and around the lake.  It was cold and rainy, but it was just what we both needed.  Boy, was it ever.

Ryne's Dr. called tonight to let me know today's blood test came back all negative.  Again, what a huge sigh of relif.  But...ugh....need to know what's hurting him.  Ryne's Dr. assured me that if it was some of the most serious of things, it would show up on those tests.  So, tonight I breathe a little sigh of relief.  I have to have faith in those words.

All I really want to do right now, is open a bottle of wine and watch Grey's Anatomy.  BUT....  I have cleaning to do, and I really need to call my Mom back.  It's getting late.  My dear friend Misty is coming over to visit tomorrow.  So, I guess it's smart for me to lay off the bottle tonight, since I'm sure we'll be feeling no pain come tomorrow afternoon.  Look, I could lie and say tomorrow night, but I'm sure we'll get an early start :)

I hope you all are well.  Have a wonderful weekend!

Much Love,

Jen

Yesterday was a lazy Sunday.  When I say lazy, I'm not kidding.  I had like 2k steps at 5 p.m.  I decided I wasn't going to sabotage my weigh in anymore, than I already had yesterday or any other given day of the week.  So, I got my fat ass out and walked to get my 10k steps in.  I then had a light dinner (portions aren't always my strong point), and I felt a little better about myself.  The week, as a whole wasn't strong.  I made several poor eating choices over the course of the week.  Drinking a bunch of microbrews on Sat., didn't help, either (although it was fun).  But I am really proud of myself for getting in about 13k steps every day.

The stress of today has been killing me.  I go from feeling like I want to puke to my stomach hurting to I want to eat everything in sight.  Ryne had his ultrasound on his abdomen today.  They were quite thorough, and spent about 1/2 hour taking pictures of him.  I could hardly handle being in there.  Silly, right?  I don't know what the hell they're showing.  I mean, they would say this is the liver, but I would think what in the hell is that or that or that?  Why are they taking so many pictures here.  I'd intentionally not looked up the name of what the x-ray technician said he had (some long as name, which means enlarged spleen and liver), but of course I looked it up on our way there...  I know they've already ruled out some of the things, which leaves scary things.  But maybe it's just a bad virus.  It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow (or Wed), since his tummy started bugging him.  It doesn't seem to be getting better, but thank God it doesn't appear to be getting worse.  If it was something really bad, it would be getting worse, right?  Anyway, the hospital is supposed to interpret the results in the morning, but Ryne's Dr. is off until Thurs.  I've already told their office that another Dr. will need to get in touch with me then.  The waiting would kill me.  But hey, maybe he'll wake up tomorrow and his stomach won't hurt anymore!  That's my prayer.

I was very nervous to weigh myself this morning...  Very nervous.  Anyway, I was down 2 lbs.  I'll take it.  For the week I had...I'll take it.  I will do better this week.  I know this.  I have to.  But in 2 weeks, nearly a 7 lb weight loss isn't the worst thing.  At this weight, I know I'm capable of more.  I'll get there.  Thanks for following me along this journey.

Today=carbs

8:00  Smoothie (banana, flax seed, spinach, frozen blueberries, soy milk)

10:00  Slice of "Good Seed" Killer Dave's Bread, toast

1:00  Subway Footlong Wheat Veggie DeLite  (pepper jack, heavy spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, black olives,  sweet teriyaki sauce)

6:00  Homemade, 1 blueberry and 2 regular pancakes w/ vegan marg and real maple syrup

Yesterday did not turn out the way I thought it would.  Brian and I started the day by going on an hour and 45 min walk.  We wanted to check out this trail that's close to the house.  It's a cool trail, but it's flat.  I mean flat, as in Midwest flat.  I was hoping we'd run into the canal along the way, but water was hard to come by.  Poor Jesse went over an hour without anything to drink.  Her tongue was nearly hitting the ground.  It was so nice when we did get back to a creek.  She was in 7th heaven.  The strangest thing did happen with her on the walk.  We were walking along, and she was just ahead of us when all of a sudden she shot 2 feet straight up in the air.  At first I thought a snake got her, but she recovered okay, so we think maybe she was stung by something.  I've never seen a dog go straight up in the air like that.  She literally went sideways on the way up.  The walk was wonderful.  Brian and I talked about so much.  I love those times when you feel so close to your spouse like that, like the two of you can make anything happen.

We were open with our plans for the day.  I kind of wanted to go to the football game, but it was getting close to game time, so Brian wanted to go back to the restaurant/bar we'd been at the previous week.  Cal wanted to come with us, so we all went to a nice lunch.  Last week while we were there, I noticed all of these full cards on the wall.  Apparently they are those that have completed the 100 beer challenge.  There are 100 different beers on the card, and you get all this stuff if you complete he card.  So, last week after a couple of beers, I thought, I can do that!  I was assured you can take as long as you need (it will take me years) to complete the card.  So, of course I needed to work on my card yesterday.  After lunch, we took Cal to get his hair cut.  The stylist asked Cal if he wanted his hair colored.  Cal, of course, chose pink...  He's waiting to wash his hair until after school on Monday, so he can show off his hair at school.  That boy cracks me up.

I've been dying to go to the movies.  I haven't been in forever.  They don't have matinees during the week, so I've been unable to go.  I talked Brian into going with me yesterday.  I really wanted to see, I think it's called, "Taken."  The one with Jake Gyllenhall (yum) and Hugh Jackman.  I usually can't watch anything where kids may get hurt, but the marketing got to me this week.  Brian didn't want to see it, so we agreed on "Meet the Millers."    We had both heard great things about the movie.  We decided to go have a couple of beers before the show.  Good Lord, I'm a lightweight (ironic, I know) anymore!  In conversation, we found that the bartender knows my good friend Erin.  Oh, the stories there!  Admittedly, I was pretty looped by the time we got to the show.  The movie was good, but it didn't live up to the hype we'd both heard.  Afterward, I had Brian take an inappropriate picture of me with 3 guys in a movie poster.  Let me tell you, my husband is the worst partner in crime ever.  It took several tries, (including some that I wasn't even in) before getting a half ass picture.  It was pretty funny, though.  I text the picture to some of my friends.  Later that night, Erin text me a picture of her, "roping a little person" at a bar.  God, I have the greatest friends.  She wanted to make sure I shared it with Brian.  Too funny.

After the movie, I had Brian make a run for the border.  Taco smell....  As far as caloric intake, yesterday was a total bust.  But I will say, we had the best time!  So, I'm trying not to punish myself too much this morning.  Today is a new day.  I'm just worried I sabotaged my whole week in one day.

Yesterday was a great distraction from the stress we've had with Ryne's stomach issues lately.  His ultrasound was moved up to tomorrow.  He seems to be feeling a little better, although he won't admit it.  He still isn't eating much, though.  I pray we can get this figured out tomorrow...

Wishing you all a healthy and happy Sunday!

~Jen

It's been a stressful week.  Ryne is still having stomach pains, and we still aren't sure what's causing them.  The abdominal x-ray report finally came back the other day.  It shows Ryne has an enlarged spleen and liver.  He has a sort of ultrasound scheduled for next week to look at the area more closely.  The Dr. is trying to get it moved up, but for now it's not until Thurs.  What b.s....  The kid isn't eating much, and he's unable to do P.E. or play football.  But of course, I'm more concerned that it's something serious.  Brian has been stressed, too, and he doesn't handle it real well.  It adds to the stress.   Ryne has been much less dramatic about the whole thing lately, though.  That's a huge plus.  I guess he doesn't feel like he needs to cry out in pain all the time, when he knows we believe him and are trying to figure it out.

The stress has not helped my diet the past few days.  I've had my weaknesses.  Brian and I had Mexican one day, and last night I had 1/2 lb of jojo's for dinner.  During this time, I've been totally obsessing about desserts, though.  I went to get meds for Ryne the other day at Safeway, and I walked right past their dessert section.  Oh man...  They have the best desserts.  I've been obsessing on the Boston Crème pie and chocolate fudge cake.  I serious just want to buy a whole one and take a fork to it...  I know that's not going to make Ryne better, and it would only make my feel better temporarily...  But it's that temporary relief I'm craving.  Man, I have such a fucked up relationship with food.  If someone were telling me about having the same issue, I'd tell them to indulge just that one time.  But I'm so overweight, I really can't.  I'm working hard to change my relationship with food.  It's been my crutch for years now.  I can tell you that it's a huge step forward that I'm even thinking about the consequences of what I put in my body.  The problem is, it's almost all I think about.  Brian and I are talking about going to the CWU football game tomorrow, but I'm already stressed about the calories from beer (and no...I hadn't considered not having any ;).  Also, when we went last week I had nachos.  I'm confident I won't eat well....

I've been feeling out of touch with people lately.  Normally, this would make me worry that I'm heading toward a bout with depression, but I don't have that fear this time.  I think the last couple of weeks, with all that have gone on with Ryne have consumed my thoughts.  Just like with food, I'm such an all or nothing person.  I don't like this about myself.  But I do have a good friend that's coming to visit next weekend.  I'm sure she'll pull me out of my shell!

The good news is, since I last wrote I was 13k steps for two days, and then yesterday I hit my 10k steps.  I know I had less steps yesterday, but I got a TON done in our room.  I set up shelves and got some boxes unpacked and organized.  Knock on wood, I think we are finally unpacked.  One would think that I would've had this done sooner, but since arriving, we really have been pretty busy.  We had planned to go to Vancouver this weekend, but with Ryne not feeling well, we decided against it.  We haven't given Cal the definitive no, yet.  He's going to be pissed.  Because as he said, "I hope Ryne feels better soon (which shocked me)," only to be followed up by, "because I really want to go to Vancouver this weekend."  That kid...

I know this is a day late, but Happy Birthday Le Ann.  I love you to the moon, girlie!

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!  Here's to time with family, friends, and being mindful of your health.

Much Love,

Jen

Today was a super productive day around the house.  I finally got the pictures all hung, and more of the unpacking.  I despise unpacking, since we've had to do it so many times in the past few years.  And we may have to do it again at the end of the lease.  The owner may end up wanting to sell.  So, it's with great reluctance that I yet again spend so much time making this house a home.  Oh well, at least it will be a nice place to be over the next 11 mos.

When Brian was up a wind turbine tower this morning, he encountered some bees.  There were around 6, but thankfully he was only stung by 2.  Brian's allergic to bees, and he started swelling up, so the co. made him climb down and go to the emergency room.  They gave him some steroids and Bennadryl.  It seems to be working, as the swelling has come way down.  His headache has even gone away.  The Dr. told him he has to take tomorrow off, too,, though.  Thank God Brian is alright, but now I get to be around "sick" Brian.  Well, "sick" when he's feeling better.  It's no fun...  He doesn't handle it well.  It's obvious where Ryno gets it.

The weigh in went fairly well this morning.  I always have a battle with the scale...  It's rarely good enough.  However, I can live with the #, as I know I haven't been eating too well.  Drum roll, please....I lost nearly 5 lbs (2 oz away).  I realize the first week is mostly about water weight, but I'll take it.  I do feel better.  I really do.  This is going to be a long process.  So long in fact, that I can't really think about it without wanting to throw in the towel.  I'm semi-patient with my kids, but that's about it.

I did take some "before" pics, and I know my starting weight...but I'm not ready to disclose any of it.  I'm terrified of how I look and the weight, so I'm not thinking advertising it at this point would be very healthy to me.  Hopefully once I start feeling better about myself

Once again eating wasn't so smart today...

8:00  Smoothie (water, flax seed, banana, spinach, blackberries)
11:00  Raw carrots with hummus
11:45  2 pcs of Killer Dave's wheat toast w/ boiled egg whites
12:30...  Slice of leftover veggie Delite pizza, 2 homemade choc chip cookies
6:00  Brown rice w/ mushroom gravy, lite Caesar salad, steamed broccoli, and 2 thin, small slices of French bread.

Steps: 11k

My diet certainly wasn't great yesterday.  Brian and I took Cal to the CWU football game.  Before the game, we went across the street for a couple of beers (and ended up w/ a shot) and nachos...  After the game, we took Cal for frozen yogurt.  So, all told, as far as diet goes: not a good day overall.  I did at least drink a smoothie in the a.m. and did a couple of things right.  I ended up around 9k steps, so I fell short of my goal by about 1k....  But it was a nice day
overall.

Yesterday morning I'd taken Brian on the walk I usually take.  Only there was a cross country meet down there, so we didn't get much of a walk in.  This morning, we headed down first thing, and I was able to show him the trail that Jesse and I have been talking.  It was a really nice walk until about halfway through, when I began to pay dearly for the pear and celery juice I'd made this morning.  I will spare you most of the details of the day, but it gives new meaning to the term, "red ass."  Lesson learned...whatever the reason, those two things just don't combine well.  I'm sure a few of you will have the unpleasant experience of hearing me tell the story after a drink or two on a
girls night out.

Today, again, hasn't been the best eating day.  I need to do better.  I plan on doing some good grocery shopping tomorrow.  I must tell you (aside from the after effects of this juice...), I feel good.  I feel like I've been doing this a while now, even though it's only been a week.  This fitbit is a real motivator for me.  I expect to step it up this week, too.  It feels great to be on a road to recovery of sorts.

Oh yeah, I can't go without mentioning how awesome the Seahawks are playing.  Man alive.  Love, love, love it!

I hope you've all had a wonderful weekend.

~Jen

8:00  Juice (2 pears, 4 celery stalks)

10:00  3 pcs of French  toast w/ real maple syrup

2:00   Individual pack of yakisoba noodles

6:00  Papa Murphy's Veggie DeLite pizza (3 pcs) and lite Caesar salad

12k steps

It was another morning at the Dr. for Ryno.  This time they did an x-ray on his stomach only to not find anything.  They also did an acid reflux test, in which we should have the results on Mon.  It's so frustrating.  Ryne's stomach is still bothering him, and he's still not eating much.  The Dr. has him on an acid reflux med, but it doesn't seem to be helping.  Hopefully tomorrow he'll wake up feeling better.  My fingers are crossed.

After the Dr., I took Jesse on that 4 mile walk.  It was another hot one.  I went as early as we could, but thankfully there's lots of places for Jesse to get drinks on the walk.

So...I started good, but then came dinner.  Friday's are "Pizza Night" at our house.  I had a spring mix salad w/ Annie's dressing, and my plan was to only have one or two small pieces of pizza.  Unfortunately, I had 4...  Ugh.  What's done is done, but I'm not happy with myself....

8:00  Smoothie (soy milk, spinach, flax seed, banana, frozen blueberries)

10:30  Cliff Bar

12:3o  Subway DeLite on wheat (heavy spinach, avocado, black olives, pepper jack, tomatoes, cucumbers, honey mustard dressing)

3:00  Bowl of grapes

6:30  4 small pieces of cheese pizza, bowl of spring mix salad w/ Annie's dressing
2 Oreos

13,835 Steps

Today is one of those days, where it feels like a few days blended into one.  I couldn't get to sleep last night until about 2:30 or so this morning.  6:30 came awfully damn early.  Ryne was still warm this morning and complaining of stomach pain, so I knew I would need to get him to the Dr.  After I got Cal on the bus, I was able to make an early appt for Ryne.  I feel bad that we haven't believed him about his stomach hurting over the past week.  He's really dramatic, and we felt like it was anxiety due to starting a new school and football team.  Anyway, the Dr. ended up running 6 or 7 different tests.  The Dr. wanted us to stay there, while the tests were run. So, all told, Ryne and I were in that room for 3 1/2 hours.  Ryne also had his first blood draw today. 
Holy crap.  He does not handle these things well (same w/ the dentist), he was hyperventilating and moving too much.  It made the draw take much longer than it should have.  The tests all came back within or close to "normal range." 
I was so relieved.  I really  started worrying there might be something wrong w/ his appendix or something.  Anyway, the Dr. left it as thinking it's a stomach virus.  The Dr. knew of my initial concerns that it was over anxiety, but he felt
confident that it was an actual virus.  Anyway, I take Ryne back in tomorrow morning for a follow up with the Dr.  Ryne still isn't feeling good, but I think he's better than he was yesterday.  (But he'll never admit that :)  So, once again: I'm Mother of the Year....

After the stress of the appointment and not sleeping, we came back home.  I had a couple of hours  before needing to pick Cal up and take him to swim.  I ate something and planned on making a veggie pita sandwich after, but I
 fell asleep. Holy cow...thank God I woke up just in time to p/u Cal.  I was so tired, I forgot his swim bag, so we had to run home.  Again, being MOTY I asked him if he just wanted to skip practice today (3 practices are mandatory per week, but 4 is encouraged).  Cal asked, why would I do that?  Good question...  I should've just told him because I'm lazy.  The kid keeps my honest.

It was 100 degrees out today, so given how the day worked out, I decided against an outside walk. Both for my sake and for my dog. I was really serious about getting my steps in, so I literally paced a lot of the time in that tiny Dr.'s office. I only got 7100 steps in today, falling short of my 10k goal.  So, tonight
I did a "performance" ride on the recumbent bike.  I got in 6 miles, but it wouldn't pick any of it up on my fitbit.  Anyway, I'm proud of myself for making myself get the exercise in.

Oh, I must tell you the favorite words, that I often hear from my friends, "Dude, I just pissed my pants."  OMG. It makes me laugh my ass off every single time.  Tonight one of my friends text me her story about soiling her thong.  I laugh, because I can so identify.  Well, I can't identify with the
thong.  My fat ass had to leave those behind many pounds ago.  I  still have them in my underwear drawer, but I'm not sure when they'll see the  light of day again.  For one, they aren't the greatest for "accidents." Ah, being a mother in her 40's. My girlfriends and I all seem to have that one thing in common :)

I hope you all have an awesome Friday!

Much Love,

Jen

8:00  Banana

12:00  Individual frozen yakisoba noodles w/ veggies

2:30  Banana Greek  yogurt

3:00  Cliff Bar

6:00  White rice w/ a  little smart balance, Caesar salad (w/ half the dressing, no croutons), and steamed zucchini.

8:00  Bowl of grapes

7100 steps, and 6 miles on recumbent bike

Well, I must admit I feel a little funny writing about my  little life on 9/11. 
I first started to write about what this day represents, but this isn't the right forum. I'll never get past this day. Every anniversary the wounds open wide once again.  I can't see that ever changing, nor do I want it to.  After I'm done with this I'll be watching a documentary, as I do every 9/11. I never want to forget what so many went through, and what heroes we have here in this amazing country. 

I woke up this morning not feeling well.  It's come and gone as the day has passed, but I've had this horrible headache for the past few hours.  Also, Ryne was sick this morning.  I know...he's been "sick" every day since school started. 
But honestly, he had a fever today.  He says his stomach still hurts, so I'll
take him to the Dr. tomorrow if he says he still feels the same way.  The problem is, the kid is 12.  He's not the greatest truth teller about these things (even though he's knows lying is the trait I despise most in a person). 
Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow, but given the fact he just had to take some Motrin, I'm not guessing so.  Anyway, I didn't let the fact that I wasn't feeling well keep me from getting my steps in.  I forced myself to take Jesse to the park, but once we got there, it was game time :) I walked pretty fast for quite a
while. We also walked as far as we could on the trail.  I'm guessing all told it was about a 4 mile walk.  I know it doesn't sound like much, but I was really proud of myself.  From there, I really struggled with what to eat... I had a smoothie in the morning, but I was starving just 3 hours later.  Once again I found myself at Subway, but this time I got an egg white on flatbread.  Oh, and it goes without saying it was a fucking footlong.  After eating the sandwich, I did a number in my head about how stupid that was.  I'd then tell myself,
give yourself a fucking break.  To which I reply, you became a fat pig by giving yourself a break.  Ah, the loveliness of my brain!

I was home with Ryne for a while before having to go to a Dr's appt.  I had to get established with a local Dr. and get my meds taken care of. It was actually a really stressful appointment, that left me wanting to stop and eat everywhere in this town (and being a college town, there's plenty of choices)!  I knew it a reaction to stress and worry, but I said fuck it.  I went to McD's and got a large Diet Coke and a small ice cream cone.  That was my compromise.  I know how stressed I can get, so given  that's all I did, I will actually cut myself a break. 
I then picked up Cal from school and took him to swim practice.  I ended up talking to this lady during practice (usually there's just an elderly Asian woman and me there), and she asked where we were from, etc. Then, she's like, aren't you Le Ann's friend?  What a small world!  Le Ann had hooked me up with her before we came out here, for advice on schools and areas. They are old college
friends.  It was so sweet of Le Ann to call her, as she hadn't talked to her since college.  Time had just gotten in their way.  Anyway, what a small world!

The day has progressed with me feeling overly hungry and fighting this nasty headache.  It has not been a great day for eating, but as I said a couple of days ago.  I am not following the ETL way until next week.  While this hasn't been a great eating day, it's not been super terrible, either.  I can live with it.

Anyway, I hope this entry finds you all well.

Until tomorrow,

Jen

8:00  Smoothie (soy milk, flax seed, spinach, frozen blueberries, banana)

11:00  Footlong Egg White on flatbread w/ pepper jack, heavy spinach, tomatoes, and olives

12:30  Half a bowl of grapes

2:30  Small McD ice cream cone and large Diet Coke


5:00  Small frozen package
of yakisoba noodles w/ veggies


7:00  One pop
tart...


Oh, and I'm at 12k steps for the day

Jesse and I got off to an earlier start than usual today.  She had an appt. with the groomer's, so we got our walk in earlier than normal.  I need to get into a good morning routine.  Since being off work, the mornings have been fairly lazy.  I know they can't be like that if I'm serious about changing my life.  It's been pretty hot here, so the morning walk was really nice.  My pace was better today, so although we walked an hour, we got to see more of the area.  My oh my, it's so beautiful.

I took Cal to swim practice this afternoon.  There's only been one coach both days now, so it's much, much different than what he had in IL.  There's
supposed to be another coach, and hopefully we see them soon. It's evident that Cal won't get as much out of this program the way it is now.  We felt bad taking our kids out of their great schools and their fantastic sporting opportunities.  I thought a lot about that today, as I  watched Cal struggle with some basic things. First off, I always have a really hard time when I watch him try to navigate through things that would seem so elementary.  In some situations, his processing skills just aren't there.  I watched him struggle for quite a while trying to find flippers.  I then watched him try to follow the  stretching techniques, while holding onto his goggles.  It just wouldn't occur to him to put them down without being told.  It was just a bunch of things like that today.  The   Coach did come over to Cal with the stretches, though.  I was glad to see that, but I can't expect Cal to always have one on one attention, when there's a whole team there that needs him. Anyway, once they finally got to swimming, I went outside and did 15 sets of up and down on the steps that lead to the building.  I then walked for 15 mins.  I needed to get my mind off of the small amount of challenges that Cal has, when I know how extremely fortunate he is to be where he is in his life.  I try not to let Autism affect how I look at my son. It rarely does anymore.  I watch him line of his toy cars every day, and various things that would stand out to an outsider, but his quirks are his. He's an amazing kid.  But I'm human.  Sometimes/days my mind goes where it did today.  I hate the realization that I can't be there to help him every step of the way.  But as parents, I guess we all have that feeling when it comes to our kids.  

Speaking of kids. Ryne has still been having an adjustment going to the new school.  Each morning has been a struggle to get him to go, and to get a move
on.  But this morning, was better than the previous mornings. He was
in a good mood when he got home from practice tonight, and he was quick to get his homework done.  He's a likeable kid.  I'm so glad to see that  things are getting a little easier for him. I'm hopeful for an event free morning, tomorrow!

As I write this, I'm hungry...  I need to keep my mind off of it....  Speaking of food:

8:00   Smoothie (soy milk, frozen tropical fruit mix, flax seed, banana, spinach)

11:30  Subway (same veggie sandwich as yesterday)

1:00  Nectarine

2:00  Hummus snack pack along w/ 6 or 7 wheat Ritz

6:30  Mashed potatoes w/ gravy, spring mix salad (w/ Annie's dressing), and steamed broccoli

I also hit my steps goal again. 
Right now I'm at 12k +.  The
FitBit isn't reading the stairs, though. 
I did all those sets, and it didn't give me credit for any. 
What a pisser!


Hope you all have a wonderful day,


Jen