Well, today certainly hasn't been ideal, for being the eve of the dreaded weigh in.  I'd committed to going to Brian's shoulder appt. today.  He wanted to go to lunch, so we went to a Mexican restaurant.  I didn't eat any of the chips and salsa, but I did eat 3 shrimp tacos, along w/ some refried beans (supposedly no lard...)  Ugh.  They tasted pretty good, but I know it wasn't good for my body, as they wanted right back out of there.  After lunch, we actually got to go to a "real" supermarket!  I was pretty much out of everything fresh and frozen, so it was sorely needed.  It was so nice to be at a nice store, with lots of organic products.  We definitely took advantage!

So between, the drive to the Dr., and waiting for the app., I was on my ass for 5 hours (not inc. lunch).  I was supposed to go to spin today, but I opted to have some quiet time with Brian instead.  Then, I told myself I'd do the BL workout on the Wii, but of course got carried away w/ cleaning instead.  It was pretty hard core cleaning, moving stuff, etc., so at least I got a little sweat out of that.  Okay, I'm done making up my excuses for tomorrow.  Oh, and did I mention my period is right around the corner.  lol  Now, honestly, today is the only day I feel bad about in the past week, so I hope it doesn't come back to kick my ass tomorrow....

My post may be brief and just in the morning tomorrow.  I'm having surgery on bone in my mouth tomorrow.  It's supposed to suck big donkey dick, so I don't know how my day will go.  Wish me luck :)

~Jen

Food:
8:30  Smoothie-ish-thing  (water, flax seed, pear, pineapple, some frozen cherries).  This literally ran me out of fresh and frozen fruits.  Not the greatest tasting thing, but I got my nutrients out of it.
12:30  3 shrimp tacos (not breaded, soft corn shells, tomato, lettuce, guac, salsa), refried beans, and 2 bites of Mexican rice.  Water to drink.
5:30  Banana
5:45  Green tea
7:00  Big plate of salad (spring mix, spinach, raw carrots, lite balsamic vinaigrette), steamed broccoli

Exercise:
Took Junior for 1/2 mile walk
Heavy duty cleaning

I woke up suddenly this morning, when Brian got up.  It was probably 5:50 or so.  I must've been deep in dream, although I don't remember what is was about.  All I know is I woke up thinking of three friends that have passed away.  The thoughts of them were so intense, that I couldn't go back to sleep.  I just lay there, thinking about them, and thinking about events that I haven't thought about in a long time.  I think I figured out what brought the dream on.  Our friend's annual bowling event was this weekend, so I thought about it a little bit this weekend and wished we could've been there.  The last time I saw Lanny was at this event, so maybe that spurred whatever dream or thoughts I was having.  I think the other reason is, that I'll be forty in three weeks.  That number has really been weighing heavily on me.  I guess it's for so many reasons.  I honestly don't feel 40.  Inside, I still feel like a teenager all the time.  I have all of these "grown up" things in my life, but whenever someone says something, even if it's really serious, some smart ass comment usually comes to mind.  I still think about sex a ton (probably as much as a 15 year old boy would).  And you know what, I still don't know what I want to be, when/if I ever do grow up.  But thinking about these 3 guys has made me realize...it's real...this getting older thing...it sucks...  So, I'll give you the little tie in to each of them.  I haven't thought about them, all together like this in a long, long time.

Sheile (John was his first name, but everyone called him by his last) was a good friend to Brian.  I'm sure I met Sheile through Brian.  Sheile's been gone quite a while now, due to fucking cancer.  Brian used to go up and see him at his house, as he was dying.  Sheile was one of the older guys out of their group at the time (in his 40's I believe).  He used to manage a Smokey's Pizza place, and Brian, Thor, and all the guys from that group used to go up after closing time, and sit and drink beer, play darts, eat pizza all night.  They all had a pretty good thing going for a few years.  In fact, whenever we move, I'm reminded of that, as we are always packing up the "Big Daddy" glasses (huge beer glasses from Smokey's).  Anyway, I wasn't real close to Sheile, but Brian sure was.  In fact, Sheile had started working out w/ Brian just months or so before he was diagnosed.

When Sheile died, of course the guys all took it hard, but acted tough, as guys in their late 20's, and early 30's will do.  (Well, actually it turns out any age).  Brian and Thor were pallbearers at Sheile's funeral.  Now, I actually knew Thor before Brian, as he was my college basketball asst. coach's best friend.  So, one night I went out w/ my friend Michelle (and her boyfriend "Biker.")  The night has always been referred to as "60 something pitchers night."  We actually ran the Sports Page out of beer.  Anyway, Thor was there, along w/ Brian.  That's how Brian and I met (Sheile was probably there, too).  And yes, I'd just turned 20...arrest me, I was underage in a bar.  It only happened the one time ; )   So, I find myself getting things a little out of place, as I don't really know how to write this "story."  So, back to after Sheile's funeral.  Brian, me, and Thor went to Charlie's to drink some beers.  Naturally, Brian and Thor were very sad.  It was "okay" to be sad, without all the guys around.  But although Brian and Sheile were much closer than Thor and Sheile, Thor seemed to be taking it very, very hard.  It really made Thor think about himself and his own mortality.  Now, I don't even remember the funeral (my memory is terrible), but I remember being at Charlie's as if it were yesterday.  Thor was talking about when he died, and he he didn't think anyone will be at his funeral.  What a drama queen :)  Now, this was "Thor, God of Thunder, Legend of Love" talking.  His real name was Russ.  Oh, we liked to call him, "Prince of Porcelein," but he hated it, which is why we always called him that.  Thor had so many friends.  He was always the life of the party. He could also get pretty down (which, really at the time, I didn't understand it was real depression).  So, we told Thor, he was CRAZY!  Look at how many friends you have...you'll have that big family of yours, your college friends, your old baseball teammates, your softball teammates, your bowling buddies, and on and on and on.  And, then he would come up with people.  Inevitably, it turned into, do you think this girl would come, or this girl would come :)

When Brian and I bought our first house, Thor quickly asked if he could move in with us (now, this is typical Thor fashion...it was before we even got the keys).  I think he ended up living with us for a couple of years.  For the most part it was good.  His room was a wreck...OMG....Thank God he did a good job of keeping the door closed.  I remember when we got Junior, he was actually jealous of Junior (and that always remained so).  Then, when I adopted Sara (without telling Brian), I remember the two of them walking through the door, and Brian was like, what the hell?  And Thor actually was happy I'd gotten her.  He ended up just loving Sara.  In fact, maybe he's trying to get her to chase something now.

After Thor moved out, we met every week or so for lunch (for a couple of years or so), while he worked about a mile or so from me.  He and I had a lot in common, in that we didn't know what we wanted to do for a living.  We'd think, out loud, long and hard, what would be a job we would actually enjoy?  And can we make money at it?  I'm still trying to figure that one out.  We'd also have weight loss competitions, which inevitably he'd start kicking my ass, and then we'd both just go back to our old ways.  Thor was not a very healthy person.  I really saw this, when he lived with us.  When he dieted, he did the "Atkins Diet," which I think is the worst "diet" in the world.  But back then, we didn't know this.  He wanted to be healthy, he just always fell back into his demons.

After being unemployed for a while, Thor went back to school to be a CNA.  He seemed to just love it!  He loved working (this was part of the schooling) with the elderly, and all of these other things that surprised the hell out of me.  I even asked him if it bothered him when he had to clean up their "messes," and he said, plainly, no.  He liked this job.  I was so happy for him.

Just about the time he was finishing school (I think it was the last week, or they were done, and they just had graduation that week), Thor had a fatal heart attack.  He was in his early 40's.  Even after his folks could tell something was wrong, and were calling the ambulance, Thor pleaded with them not to call, because he didn't have insurance.  For so long, I was so angry that he finally found something he liked, and he was going to have insurance, and that none of this would've happens if he hadn't lost his job, etc.  I felt like, had he had insurance, he would've gone to the Dr. that week, and they could have caught it.  Years later, I was telling Booge this, and he said, no...he probably still wouldn't have gone to the Dr.  This still would've happened.  He had a bad heart and didn't take good enough care of it.  That helped take some of my anger away.  Oh, and you know what...they had a huge party for all of his friends at the Moose Club.  I remember you could hardly walk in there.  There were people there that we hadn't seen in ages, and everyone was there, for the same reason.  To raise a glass to Thor, and to tell the millions of funny stories everyone had about him.  I'm sure Thor was very, very pleased.

Of course, afterward, there were several of us that went out to Thor's fave bar in Washougal.  We proceeded to get very, very drunk.  I remember us all doing Thor's favorite karaoke songs (nobody could command a room like him, doing Sweet Caroline, or like when he and Randy would do Taking Care of Business).  It was Brian, me, Jody, Thor's brother, Lee, and Lanny.  I think Randy came out and met us later.  It was an eerie, eerie feeling not having Thor there.  And I told them the story of what Thor told me he wanted when he died, and how happy he had to have been with everything.

Fast forward about 5 months, to the annual bowling event.  It was that same 'ol crowd.  Some of which, we hadn't seen since Thor passed away.  One of them was Lanny.  The thing I always remember about Lanny, was him being one of the guys and that we joked, etc.  I remember him giving me his number and telling me to call so we could get together.  Of course, I never did, but that wouldn't be uncommon for one friend to do to another.  Then, the next time I saw him (I think at another bowling thing), he's like why didn't you call, we should go out.  I said, you know I'm married to Brian, right?  (We were probably married close to 10 years at that point), and his eyes got big, and he said, no I didn't.  And you know what, everyone was always in a big group of friends, maybe he really didn't know, who knows.   Brian really laughed at that one.  Anyway, Lanny starts to talk to me about Thor, and he was getting really serious and kind of upset.  Lanny told me that he hadn't seen a Dr. in 25 years.  Oh, I jumped all over his shit.  Hadn't he learned anything from Thor, blah, blah, blah.  You have to, because of your son, and I went on and on.  He promised me he would see a Dr. soon.  Now, Lanny was nothing like Thor.  Lanny wasn't overweight or anything like that, but he'd been a hard partier, like many of us, but nothing to get too alarmed about.  I remember Lanny was probably Jody's favorite out of all of those guys.  She has a great story about him...  Anyway, very shortly after the bowling event Lanny died (I believe there was a tear or hole in his aorta).  Even if he had gone to the Dr., they probably wouldn't have caught it.  Oh, btw I think J nick-named me, "the grim reaper" for quite a while after that.

It was the weirdest thing...all of these guys in their forties dying like that.  It put a lot of those guys on notice, at the time.  And I think, by me waking up this morning, thinking about them, it's putting me on notice, too.  It's making me so very thankful that I'm out of my depression (and Good Lord, please never let me go back), and that I'm taking care of myself.  It's been so long since I've done this.  It's been so long, since I even cared about myself.  Anyway, I've been avoiding going back to the cardiologist about my slow pulse, and "irregular" heartbeat.  They even sent a certified letter last week, trying to get me back in there.  I'm calling today.  Everything will probably be normal, when I go back in (just as it has been), but I'm a fool, if I don't learn something from the loss of these friends.  I've been a fool for many reasons.  I know my stress levels and anxiety issues  have taken my body to places they shouldn't be.  I'm hopefully over all of that, but I'll need to hear it from a professional.  So, I guess 40 is my reminder (along w/ three cool guys), that I need to do everything I can to take care of myself, not just on this 6 week plan, but forever.  If you've read through all of this, I hope it has an impact on you, too.  While I wish it weren't true, we aren't spring chickens anymore.  The 40's are when are bodies can really start speaking to us in ways we never thought possible.  Your body is your temple.  Please take care of it.  Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Love you guys,

Jen

Food:
8:15  Smoothie-ish thing (bunch of fresh pineapple, 2 bananas, flax seed, water)
11:30  Wasn't hungry, but forced myself to eat this before I worked out.  I'd just made bean soup, but thought that might be the best thing for my trainer to be around :)  Bowl of spring mix salad w/ half an avocado, and a tiny bit of dressing.  Brian must've used it last, because there was barely anything in there, and it should've been recycled.
3:00  Bowl of SW bean soup (see recipe)
3:30  Pear
6:00  Whole wheat spaghetti pasta w/ sauce and protein (fake meat) crumbles.  Steamed broccoli and steame

Exercise:
30 mins. on incumbent bike
45 mins. w/ trainer on weights
Took Junior for 1/2 mile walk

Yay, almost 2 weeks into the 6 week program!

Today, I've been surrounded by temptation every time I turn around.  I had my smoothie this morning, while Brian made French toast for the boys (that doesn't really tempt me, though, he does it most Sundays).  I worked out before church this morning, so of course, as church is coming to a close, I started getting hungry.  Caleb came with me again today :)  After church, they had a luncheon.  I wouldn't have gone, but of course Cal was all over it.  You wouldn't believe the spread....crazy!  Tons of pastas, roast beef, etc.  There was also a spinach salad w/ strawberries and nuts, along w/ a spiral pasta dish w/ tomatoes, artichokes, etc.  I ate quite a bit of the salad, and I picked around the pasta dish to avoid having the pasta (although I probably ate 5).  But let me tell you....the desserts looked so amazing!  There was a chocolate/bacon cake, brownies, pie, and a couple other types of chocolate cakes.  Cal helped himself to a nice slice of chocolate cake.  Now, I really wanted a bite, really, really, bad.  I think I'm starting to P.M.S. already!  I was able to take some food home for the boys.  I knew Ryne would love the bacon cake.  His fave thing is the bacon/maple bar from Voodoo doughnuts.  He had the cake for dessert tonight, and he said it was pure heaven (nice, since we got it from church :)

After we got home from church, we took the boys swimming.  Again, I got super hungry...  Brian wanted to get the boys a pizza tonight from Pizza Hut.  So, the smell of the pizza was lofting through the air, the whole drive home...  I really wanted a slice.  But thankfully, I kept my head on straight....

All in all today, has been great.  I've been really active, and got to enjoy some good family time.  Hopefully these cravings subside very soon!

Hope you're having a wonderful Sunday!

-Thanks Amy, for reminding me about "true" hunger.  It's something I often forget.  I won't eat the rest of the night.

Food:
8:15  Smoothie (water, flax seed, banana, fresh pineapple, and a few frozen strawberries)
12:00  Spinach salad w/ nuts and strawberries, plus some whole wheat, cold pasta dish-didn't eat many pieces of the pasta, though.  Water
4:50  Baked potato w/ Butter Buds (I hope I acquire a taste for these soon...), spring mix salad, w/ a light vinaigrette dressing, plus steamed veggies (Asian medley)
5:20  1 square of dark chocolate (86% cacao)
6:00  Green tea
7:00  Small handful of mixed nuts

Exercise:
45 min. Biggest Loser workout on the Wii
1 hour of swimming w/ the family

Today started off fairly rough.  Brian got called in to work, last minute, just as I was going to meet my trainer this morning.  This caused a huge meltdown w/ Ryne as he didn't want to go to the club.  Tears, yelling, all sorts of things coming out of him.  He wanted to stay home and babysit Cal.  I would've been gone too long, so that wasn't an option.  Anyway, it was a morning full of Ryne angst and drama.  He's approaching 11....but I think he's acting like a teenager already.  He's definitely going through a "stage" and it's not fun...

Overall, today wasn't the best day, but it got unexpectedly better tonight.  I've been working down in the unfinished basement and trying to make it more of a usable space.  So, being the totally anal person I am, I went through absolutely everything, as I was moving things around.  I went through all of our backpacks, luggage, bags, etc. to make sure there was nothing hiding in there.  And guess what....I found my wedding ring in a backpack!  I thought it was gone forever.  Oh, I'm so happy!  Totally turned my day around!

I finished the night off with some games of ping pong w/ the boys.  Wow.  Ryne is getting really good.  We had a really fun time.

My food wasn't the greatest today.  I let myself get too hungry, and I was super tired most of the day.

Food:
8:00  Smoothie (kale, water, flax seed, banana, peaches, strawberries)
11:30  Took the boys to an early lunch.  I really wanted to order the tilapia, salad, and baked potato, but thankfully I pulled myself together and was smart.
Spinach salad, w/ 1 hard boiled egg (I removed the yoke), nuts, tomatoes, and raspberry vinaigrette on the side, w/ water w/ lemon.
4:00  1 1/2 cups of Special K Red Berries  and added a banana, w/ 1 cup of soy milk.
5:00  Green tea
6:30  Black bean patty w/ 1/2 avocado, and a little salsa, w/ leftover roasted cauliflower and brussel sprouts.  OMG....the patty was so good.  I was in heaven!
9:45  (4) dried appricot pieces.  I hated to eat th

Exercise:
40 mins. w/ trainer at the club

Food:
8:30  Smoothie (spinach, banana, water, flax seed, blueberries)
10:00  Small handful of mixed nuts
11:00  Green tea
1:00  Salad (spinach, spring mix, 1/2 cup of pinto beans) w/ thousand island dressing (see recipe), bowl of cauliflower soup (see recipe)
4:00  Pear
5:45  Baked potato w/ butter buds (I must not have put enough on there, as there really wasn't any taste to it) and roasted brussel sprouts and cauliflower.  Totally lame dinner...  Way too dry all the way around and not enough color.
8:00  Sleepy time herbal tea

Exercise:
Lots of housework
About 25-30 mins

I've had the weirdest dreams the past 3 nights.  If I say it's weird, than you know it truly is.  Anyway, each of the past 3 nights I've dreamt that I meet Brian for the first time and I'm immediately attracted to him.  And in last night's dream, we both have bodies straight out of the Jersey Shore (damn that show...why do I love it so?)  So, Brian and I have been together 19 years, which is awesome.  But let's be honest, after this long together, I'm usually not dreaming about meeting him for the first time and the "hook up."  That in itself is odd, but the weirdest thing....Brian was a redhead in all 3 of these dreams.  WTF?  Where did that come from?  It's not like I'm Chelsea Handler and afraid of redheads or anything like that, but I've never dated a redhead, nor really been attracted to one.  I hope I never meet Freud in heaven.  He'd have a field day with all of my weird ass dreams.

Food:
8:30  Smoothie  (banana, water, flax seed, spinach, blueberries)
11:30  Glass of green tea
1:00  Salad (spinach and spring mix) w/ "thousand island dressing" (see recipe), bowl of cauliflower soup (see recipe), and some coconut water.  This is the first time I've tried it, and I really do enjoy it.  It'll have to be a real treat, at $2 a pop, though.  I just needed a break from tea and water.
3:30  Pear
6:00  Steamed broccoli and cauliflower, using Mrs. Dash, spicy seasoning, and leftover Accidental Goulash (see recipe)
7:30  Banana Walnut Ice Cream  2 servings....  (see rec

Exercise:
Took Junior for half mile walk.
Spin Class

Dun, Dun, Dun....the scale.  It's always been my nemesis.  It seems no matter what it says, I'm not happy.  It's either not enough, or I qualify it as water weight, or it reminds me of how I far I have to go, or it's just "wrong."  In all honesty, I really do hate the scale.  You guys know that.  But....I've been on the ETL plan for 1 week, and it's time to weigh myself.  So, I'm down 4 lbs!  Usually on a first week, I'd chalk it all up to water weight.  However, I'd lost some before starting the plan, so I'll take that 4, and not think of it as water weight.  I'll think of it as hard earned weight loss.  I'll visualize it as 4 of those gross 1 lb. hamburger tubes off of my body.  Those 4 lbs. are no longer crushing my insides.  I'm not going to do a happy dance, or anything.  Well, maybe if I were drunk, and then it would just be 'cause I was happy to be drunk :)  I really hope you guys try some of these recipes, or maybe find some sort of motivation in this way of living.  If not, it's no biggie.  Everyone has their own path, and their own timing.   I love that you are here to share mine and Amy's journey on ETL.  You guys have stuck with me through everything, and I sincerely appreciate that.  I couldn't ask for a better set of friends.

I was able to get into town today, and get my workout in.  I also went grocery shopping at Walmart.  Big day :)  The day kinda got away from me, so my eating is all off track.  Sucks, I'm hungry.  Off to make dinner.

Food:
8:15  Smoothie  (water, kale, flax seed, blackberries, banana, blueberries)
11:00  Banana
2:45  Pear
3:30  Bowl of tomato bisque soup  (see recipe)
5:00  Small square of dark chocolate
6:30  Large salad (spinach and spring mix) w/ "thousand island" dressing (see recipe), steamed broccoli, and Accidental Goulash (see recipe)

Exercise:
Took Junior for 1/2 mile walk
55 mins on incumbent bike
weights

I woke up in a bad mood this morning.  The alarm went off for Brian at 5:55, but I was unable to get back to sleep.  Most mornings I don't get up  until 7 (rough, I know :)  It was just one of those mornings of laying there and having a million things go through my head, and none of which I could solve right there and then.  Oh well, such is life.
I know I'm cranky, so I've been trying to perk my ass up a bit this morning.  I've left a message for my trainer to see if we can meet today.  I'm sure it's too late, but I thought I'd try.  I've gotten a little cleaning done, and I just took Junior for a walk.  Thankfully, it's not snowing, and it's 24  out (which is now what I'd consider warm-dear God what has the Midwest done to me?).  It's that wind out here that sucks, though.  Oh well, I guess if it weren't for the wind, Brian wouldn't have a job, so I should never bitch about it.
You guys know how neurotic I am about things, and how I tend to obsess...  Although, I most confess, I am getting better.  So, every day when I get on this site, I first check the number of visitors.  It shouldn't matter, but I'm always way curious.  Anyway, occasionally I think people stumble on here by accident w/ search terms.  There's a couple of funny ones that are on there, but this really grabbed my attention this morning:  Google search term: Natalie Maines is a cunt.  WTF?   I was like how in the hell could that come to my site.  Oh yeah, in one of my million dreams of either being the 4th member of the DCX, being Natalie's bff (which I'm not giving up on), hanging out w/ them, or writing a song w/ Natalie, I did have that one nightmare I told you guys about.  The one in which, I was so excited to hang w/ the DCX that day, but Natalie was a total cunt to me (this is also where I decided I was going to start using the C word, which I'd never really used before).  The dream was devastating, and I had to tell you guys about it.  So, I think it's funny that somebody googled that, and got my love fest to Natalie Maines.  I could go on and on about what a nut job they must be, but really the only ones I think that would be capable of such a search would be Natalie, herself (wondering if there's any new nut jobs out there, George W, or some stupid ass from the Stern Fan Network.  So, once again, I proclaim my love, for my favorite band ever, the Dixie Chicks.  Oh, and if you haven't seen "Shut Up and Sing," yet.  Do yourself a favor and see it.  Maybe Netflix streams it?  You don't even have to love their music, to really love this film.

Food:
8:30  Smoothie (2 Cutie oranges, 7 frozen strawberries, banana, 1/2 large apple, large handful of kale, and some water)  This isn't the best tasting thing I've done, but I appreciate how healthy it is.  I also drank nearly 2 glasses of it, to make sure I got enough of the good stuff in me (insert joke here).
12:00  Other half of large apple
12:30  Roasted cauliflower and brussel sprouts (tossed w/ 1 tsp of olive oil, some onion powder, pepper, and cumin)  Pretty good.  Plus, Spring Mix salad w/ homemade Thousand Island dressing (see recipe).  Just tried this dressing for the first time today.  Pretty tasty.
5:00  Small handful of mixed nuts
6:15  More roasted cauliflower and brussel sprouts, bowl of tomato bisque soup (see recipe), and 2 whole wheat English muffins, with small amount of Grapeseed Vegenaise, 1/2 avocade, and small tomato
9:00  Cup of herbal night time sleep
Exercise:
Took Junior for half mile walk, although I'm not sure it counts as any sort of exercise, since I wasn't wearing a bra under my t-shirt and ski jacket.
52 Mins workout on Wii Biggest Loser, 325 calories burned.

Oh crapola....not the greatest conditions today for staying on track.  Caleb had an eye surgeon appt in Chicago today.  We were gone for 6 hours (2 hours each way, plus 2 hour appt.)  Caleb chose Taco Smell for lunch....  I knew we were going to be going there, but I couldn't think of anything other than fruit to bring for the ride and lunch....So, I bought 3 bean burritos (no cheese or onions).  I ended up having 2 for lunch, and 1 on cold one on the ride back.  Anyway, today has been my worst day on the plan, but I'll do much better tomorrow.

Food:
8:45  Smoothie (banana, soy milk, flax seed, kale, strawberries)  Kinda sucked.  Having kale w/ the strawberries isn't a great mix.
11:15  banana
12:15  2 bean burritos from Taco Smell, plus can of Caffeine free Diet Coke
4:00  2 Cutie oranges
4:30  another bean burrito, another can of Caffeine free Diet Coke
6:30  bowl of tomato bisque, plus big salad (spinach and spring mix w/ lite vinaigrette
8:00  Peach Freeze  (see recipe)

Exercise:
Took Junior for a 1/2 mile walk in the freezing cold, with t

It's been a nice, relaxing day at home.  Brian had an errand to run this morning, so I was unable to go to church.  We couldn't go sledding, b/c the weather sucks ass.  So, it was a day of watching unbelievable football and making food in the kitchen.

I've been staying off the treadmill, as to give my stupid knee a break.  It's getting better, but it's still definitely sore.  It's weird.  It's even sore to the touch.  Anyway, I've tried to stay active, and I can certainly feel it.  This must be what it feels like to be old.  Everything is tight (well....insert your own joke here).  Getting up is a conscious effort.  Also, today as I was doing my BL workout, I realized one of the toughest things for me to do, are jumping jacks.  Really?  WTF?  Didn't we do those for fun as kids?  Now, I've got fat swinging from places, I didn't know I had it.  Hopefully, I'll forget all about that one day, until I look back and read this.  I'm hoping this fat thing really will be a part of my past.  A part of my past that I never want to revisit.

The food thing is going fairly well.  I'd be lying, if I didn't admit that I find myself hungry a lot.  That's my own fault.  I'm not following the plan strictly enough.  They want you to eat more raw veggies and steamed veggies than I can handle.  I can only take so much....   Hopefully as time goes on, it'll get easier to eat those volumes.  I also really miss having a bowl of cereal, or wheat English muffin, or oatmeal.  I know that I'm allowed one a day, but I can't bring myself to waste that one starch a day on that stuff.  After the 6 weeks, you can have 2, so I'm definitely looking forward to that.  Also, I'm not so creative in the kitchen.  I wish I were more so.  If I find something I like, I usually stick with it.  I need to get better.  I bought brussel sprouts for the first time...which I can honestly say I'm not looking forward to eating.  I need to find a good way to cook them...maybe roast them?  IDK...  Also tough tonight, as I made oatmeal cookies for the family.  It's really hard not to just eat one "to see how they turned out."  But I didn't...  Because when it really comes down to it, I feel good.  And excuse the cliche, but I just keep thinking, "nothing tastes as good as thin feels."  I know I'm a long way from thin, but I know I'm losing, so I'm going in the right direction.

Hope you guys had an awesome weekend!

~Jen

Food:
8:30  Banana
10:00  Smoothie (banana, soy milk, flax seed, kale, blueberries)
12:30  Small baked potato w/ Earth Balance, plus big salad (spinach and spring mix w/ vinaigrette dressing)
1:30  1/2 large apple w/ chocolate almond dip (see recipe)
3:00  Green tea
3:30  Other half of the apple
6:00  Leftover Beans and things, w/ added hot sauce (see recipe) w/ steamed veggies: broccoli, peppers, cauliflower, and carrots

Exercise:
40 minute Biggest Loser workout on the Wii