I changed my eating habits 4 weeks ago. I also started drinking shit tons of water. I've always known how important it is, but I've never really gotten after it. I bought a 30 oz. water bottle, and that was really instrumental in getting me to drink more. It's an easy way for me to track my intake. If you're struggling, you should try it. I'm averaging about 120-150 oz a day. I still don't love it, but I get a real satisfaction each time I finish the 30 oz bottle. I also added some fresh juice to my diet. I use what I have on hand (but always make sure to have celery as that is supposed to really help with high BP), and it normally doesn't taste the greatest - since I'm just randomly throwing things in ther. It does feel really good to know that I'm getting those nutrients, though. My addiction to food is always there, but it all is getting easier - the longer I do this. I remember this from my very long run of eating healthy, also. I've passed up a lot of really yummy looking foods. The other day, I gave away this giant, fresh, macadamia nut cookie. I thought about it for 3 days after. Food is a true head fuck for me. It's just the thing that's always the most comforting, and soothing to me. I was down 1 1/2 pounds this week. I was disappointed with it, knowing how well I ate, but I had to put it all in perspective - I'm down 8 pounds in 4 weeks. I'm never going to be the person that has giant numbers, but I am determined, and I know I'll get back to where I need to be - eventually. Celebrating 8 pounds in four weeks, would be so much easier, if I didn't look back at my weight chart and was reminded that I put on 6 pounds in a week not so long ago. I can put it on so fast....which is why I have to turn down that macadamia nut cookie - it could lead to 3, and then soda (off for nearly 2 weeks now), and then fast food....and on and on. Food addiction is a bitch. I've found myself, once again, obsessed with My 600 Pound Life. It is a motivator for me, and it's nice to feel like I can relate to people (even if on t.v.) when it comes to food.
I really need to appreciate that 1 1/2 pounds also, because it was done with very little exercise. I have been in a lot of pain in these past weeks (and terrible headaches). Last week was especially bad. My body was done, and I had to listen to it. Being in pain like that, wears a bitch out. It was early bedtime every single night. My sleep is then fucked up, because I go to sleep too early and end up waking up at 3. Or, I toss and turn all night, because I'm in pain, and every time I move - it makes it worse. I've never had to deal with pain in this way before. It's a real MOFO.
I've mentioned that my recovery from the potassium deficiency has not been smooth. It has been a real struggle. Mostly, I've doubted myself - I've felt crazy. There haven't been easy answers. Things probably would have been different, if I hadn't had the stomach issues (and ended up going through colonoscopy and endoscopy) to find that it was all mostly caused by stress. I've never been able to forgive myself for dealing with things the way I did/do. I should've been able to deal with it better. So, going through all of that, knowing that the real pain was caused by my head - causing my colon to spasm, sucks. So, I came out of the very real potassium issue that way fucked me up to not rebounding the way the doctors expected. The most prominent thing, was my weakness. I came out of it much weaker than before I ended up in the hospital. I've felt like it's an overall weakness, but the left side was much more affected. When the answers for that, didn't come right away - again I doubted myself. I would try to do things, chastising myself, saying this is in my head- you can do this. I can't even do basic things with my left hand, and all signs have pointed to neurological issues. I know I didn't have a stroke, but my body responds like I did. I've hated every second of it....being weak, feeling weak minded, feeling bat shit crazy.... I did physical therapy, which was not good for me. That's when the pain really started. We knew I had bone spurs and a significant deteriorated disc, and the hope was the p/t would make things better, but really it awakened too much. I had about a week to 10 days during it when it looked like it might help (post epidural in my neck), when I began to be able to move my neck better, but then nearly everything actually got worse. Then thing is, I probably started feeling the affects of the potassium issue in November, so for months I was out of touch with my body, until it finally got to the point where I couldn't move. I came out of that, to a body that is weak. With all of this, I'm really out of touch with my body. I would complain about how difficult my new SUV was to see out of, but after I could actually move my neck for that week, I realized it was that I hadn't been able to move my neck in so long and didn't know it. The good news is, I'll be having surgery on my neck on the 13th. My prayer is that it fixes the things they believe it will, as well as the things that haven't made sense. The biggest concern (I mean outside of the scary parts of having surgery), is they have no idea if my strength will come back. There is concern that the nerve might be irreversibly damaged already. I do not have these specific shooting pains in one area, and the doctors have been surprised by this....so this concerns me that I'm not having them, because that nerve is already dead. Hopefully that is all wrong, and everything comes back. Because - the thought of not getting my strength or grip back is really too much for me to take. I'm certainly no doctor, though, and hopefully it all gets restored.
I've been holding so much in, that I could write for hours - but I've spent too much time on heavy things. I will tell you - that I did finally get my garage door fixed (the damn thing nearly caused divorce). The repairman was a couple of hours late, and about five minutes after he arrived - he asked to use our bathroom - where he proceeded to take a dump over the next half an hour. When he finally finished, he asked if he could smoke while he worked. The whole thing really was comical, but we can look past all of that, as we have a door that now automatically opens. Thank God. I couldn't do that now.
I wish you a fantastic week - leading up to a 3 day weekend. We all have obstacles, and I know mine are so minor compared to many, but we all have to figure out our own, best ways through these obstacle courses called - life. We can do it...I know we can.