In spite of my lower activity levels, I was happy to lose 2 pounds last week. This past couple of weeks, has been a total head fuck in that I ended up with gallstones-something usually attributed to fatty foods, but those foods are no longer a part of my life. It turns out you can also get them from rapid weight loss, which I really have not had "rapid" loss, but they did show up when I was having a breakdown and lost 9 pounds in two weeks. Who knows...maybe I had them before and then they just awakened. Anyway, with the possibility that losing weight actually caused this, I'll admit my immediate thought was-add more fat to your diet. That's stupid, but I'm a food addict, and I'll look for any excuse to eat more. On the nights where I've been out late for the kids sports, I have allowed myself to eat a little something when I get home, if I'm really hungry. I did not do that before. So, I guess these stones have changed my approach just a tiny bit. My eyes are still on the prize, and I have not gone off the rails.
I bought my ticket home today, which is also a nice motivation to keep trucking. I certainly would like to weigh less when I go home, than I do now. I made the brutal mistake of looking up my BMI today, and has that ever fucked with my head. I shouldn't have done that. I have so far to go, and all day, that's all I've been able to think about. Dare I say, it hit me harder than the number on the scale does.
I didn't mean for this entry to turn out as much of a bummer as it has. Really, I am thrilled with losing 5 pounds in two weeks. I would love to keep that going. I'm hoping to get my energy back soon, so I feel like I have more of a fighting chance. Diet is 80% of weight loss, but I'm already extremely concerned about loose skin, so it's imperative that I get my body going. Oh on that note, I had my 2 month physical therapy eval yesterday. I was given the option of continuing or getting rechecked in two weeks, which is of course what I chose. She feels I should continue but also knows insurance is always a battle. I'll keep plugging away on the exercises at home and hopefully I'll get the green light out of there, in a couple of weeks. My back is improving, just not at lightning speed. It is way better, though.
I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend. Keep your eye on the prize, despite any obstacles that get thrown your way. There will always be obstacles. There will always be reasons to quit. Be bigger than those reasons. You're worth it. We all just have the one body-let's take care of it.