This made me laugh...and I do know I'm still fat...just not as fat. You gotta start somewhere! I had a moment of feeling almost content with my body. I almost felt like I could be okay at this weight, which is really ludicrous. I will say that's progress from someone who is so hyper critical of themselves, though. For that short time, I was worried I was thinking this way, because I certainly didn't want to get complacent. I've come now come back down to reality. I hold my stomach fat in my hands, often, while thinking about how much further I need to go before hitting my goal weight. The thought is overwhelming, but I am getting closer. Today I became three pounds closer. Boom. The scale hadn't been moving at all, like to the ounce until recently. I knew I had to be patient, that it would change. Still, it was easy to think of all my mis-steps and how much more I wish I could do physically. When it comes down to it: those three pounds were earned. I've been a walking fool (I literally look like a fool, walking in between every inning). I've still passed up every sugary treat that gets left out at work. I held back on the Easter meal and leftovers. I make the choice to pass the drive-thrus, when it would be so easy to pick up dinner there, as I'm not getting home until at least 7 every night. I've kept those things in mind and knew the scale had to make the shift to show those decisions. I really am pleased with that number. At the same time, I know the number can't define me. Next week, will likely be less, and I can't have a lower number depress me, either. I can't give the scale too much power.
It's funny how much things have changed in my diet, yet so many things have stayed the same. When Brian and I were in WI last week and went to lunch, I ordered a shrimp burrito w/ the meal (adding beans and rice). It wasn't until my food arrived and I stared at my plate, that I remembered-I don't need to order so much anymore. I knew I wouldn't even be able to finish the burrito, let alone the extras. It's crazy, as I really do try to think about every single thing I'm going to put in my body, that I still have these brain farts. I have an appointment tomorrow in the closest actual city. I was thinking about it today and my immediate thought process went to what can I have for breakfast. I thought about the different places for a good couple of minutes before realizing-I wouldn't be going to a restaurant or driving thru anywhere. I'll probably just have a Lara bar afterward. Food was my go-to thought for so long. In all honesty, it probably has been nearly my whole life. I don't know if these thoughts will every really go away.
I ran by Wal-Mart after work. I'm like most people, in that I truly hate shopping there. I will admit, I'm a little obsessed with their Savings Catchers app, though. I haven't used it that many times, and I already have $12 free dollars. Free! ha. Anyhoo, I went through the line and was immediately happy when I saw this cashier. She saw me and lit up, but the thing is, I'm sure she does this for everyone she seudo recognizes. We spoke for just that couple of minutes, but still I knew more about her day than probably most of the people I actually spoke to today. It's funny how we can talk to people and still not really know anything about them. I so value people like this woman, who just invite you into their world. Let's face it, I'm not one of those people-I say more through this blog than I do to anyone, but it's a trait in people I love. I would even go so far as to say, seeing her was my favorite part of the day. I preach this all the time, but we have the power to be that person-to make someone's day. We need to remember that. It's such an easy thing to do.
There was a shooting at bar out here on Sat. One of the guys from our shop was shot twice with a .357. I'm told that's a very large bullet. In fact, one of the guys from the shop took it upon himself to show my what the different bullets look like (I honestly have no idea-I hate guns). Trent (the guy who was shot) was beyond lucky. The doctors have no idea how he survived. He has bullet fragments on his heart, that they don't want to remove because of the risk. After all of this, he was actually at our company for a bit today. He won't be able to work for a couple of months, because his collarbone was broken by one of the shots. There were four people shot and all survived. This is truly a miracle. It was all random, as the guy who shot them actually drove up here from S.C after having a dream that told him he needed to go that bar and kill people. Crazy. It's hard to believe Trent, who is only 26, nearly lost his life because some guy had a fucking dream.
A close friend of mine, also had a very scary situation last week as well. Her father had a stroke. It's going to be a long road to recovery, but I'm so thankful that his prognosis is so good. I've been thinking a lot about her, her dad, and her family. Life is precious. We really don't know what is around the corner, from something like that, to a guy just hanging out and randomly getting shot. Hopefully, we all take each day and value it as the gift it is. Life is so easy to take for granted. Life is also very hard, sometimes. Still, it's beautiful and we all have our own life-something nobody else on earth has. Try not to waste a minute of it. Trust me, this is a reminder to myself as well. -If you could keep Larry in your prayers for a fast recovery, I would certainly appreciate it.
I'll leave you with the song I should've put with my last blog. I mean, I was fresh off an Eric Church song. I do love this song. Enjoy.
Have a great night. And-happy Hump Day!
~Jen
It's funny how much things have changed in my diet, yet so many things have stayed the same. When Brian and I were in WI last week and went to lunch, I ordered a shrimp burrito w/ the meal (adding beans and rice). It wasn't until my food arrived and I stared at my plate, that I remembered-I don't need to order so much anymore. I knew I wouldn't even be able to finish the burrito, let alone the extras. It's crazy, as I really do try to think about every single thing I'm going to put in my body, that I still have these brain farts. I have an appointment tomorrow in the closest actual city. I was thinking about it today and my immediate thought process went to what can I have for breakfast. I thought about the different places for a good couple of minutes before realizing-I wouldn't be going to a restaurant or driving thru anywhere. I'll probably just have a Lara bar afterward. Food was my go-to thought for so long. In all honesty, it probably has been nearly my whole life. I don't know if these thoughts will every really go away.
I ran by Wal-Mart after work. I'm like most people, in that I truly hate shopping there. I will admit, I'm a little obsessed with their Savings Catchers app, though. I haven't used it that many times, and I already have $12 free dollars. Free! ha. Anyhoo, I went through the line and was immediately happy when I saw this cashier. She saw me and lit up, but the thing is, I'm sure she does this for everyone she seudo recognizes. We spoke for just that couple of minutes, but still I knew more about her day than probably most of the people I actually spoke to today. It's funny how we can talk to people and still not really know anything about them. I so value people like this woman, who just invite you into their world. Let's face it, I'm not one of those people-I say more through this blog than I do to anyone, but it's a trait in people I love. I would even go so far as to say, seeing her was my favorite part of the day. I preach this all the time, but we have the power to be that person-to make someone's day. We need to remember that. It's such an easy thing to do.
There was a shooting at bar out here on Sat. One of the guys from our shop was shot twice with a .357. I'm told that's a very large bullet. In fact, one of the guys from the shop took it upon himself to show my what the different bullets look like (I honestly have no idea-I hate guns). Trent (the guy who was shot) was beyond lucky. The doctors have no idea how he survived. He has bullet fragments on his heart, that they don't want to remove because of the risk. After all of this, he was actually at our company for a bit today. He won't be able to work for a couple of months, because his collarbone was broken by one of the shots. There were four people shot and all survived. This is truly a miracle. It was all random, as the guy who shot them actually drove up here from S.C after having a dream that told him he needed to go that bar and kill people. Crazy. It's hard to believe Trent, who is only 26, nearly lost his life because some guy had a fucking dream.
A close friend of mine, also had a very scary situation last week as well. Her father had a stroke. It's going to be a long road to recovery, but I'm so thankful that his prognosis is so good. I've been thinking a lot about her, her dad, and her family. Life is precious. We really don't know what is around the corner, from something like that, to a guy just hanging out and randomly getting shot. Hopefully, we all take each day and value it as the gift it is. Life is so easy to take for granted. Life is also very hard, sometimes. Still, it's beautiful and we all have our own life-something nobody else on earth has. Try not to waste a minute of it. Trust me, this is a reminder to myself as well. -If you could keep Larry in your prayers for a fast recovery, I would certainly appreciate it.
I'll leave you with the song I should've put with my last blog. I mean, I was fresh off an Eric Church song. I do love this song. Enjoy.
Have a great night. And-happy Hump Day!
~Jen
RSS Feed