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Diariesofafatass.com

Identifying

8/28/2013

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Picture
As I type this, I have my favorite TV people on in the background:
Kathie Lee and Hoda.  Yes, I'm
coming out.  I love those two!  I've loved Kathie Lee since her Regis days.  Hoda is the real deal, too.  I've even read her book.  I love it when Hoda plays a song she loves and sings along.  They just did a little montage, and Afternoon
Delight
was in there.  One week
it'll be something like that, the next it's Blurred Lines.  I find Hoda
inspiring.  She was told "no" at every turn in her career.  She persevered through even hearing over and over that if people can't say your name, you can't be on TV.  Right now she's talking about having a landing strip.  From Dateline anchor to landing strips.  Love her.

Well, that was off topic, but I guess not really, since I have no idea what I'm writing about today. Yesterday I took the boys and dog down to a park I'd heard about.  We took a trail that runs along the Yakima River.  It was
stunning.  Cal got tired, so we weren't able to go as far as I would've liked.  I think the trail runs into a couple of little lakes. When we first started, we saw a soaking wet lab and it's owner coming off the trail.  I can't imagine she had the dog in the river as it runs so fast. So, the plan today is to do a little discovering on my own, well along with my dog.  Anyway, it's nice as it's pretty hot here (although I'll never complain after the humidity of the Midwest), but the
trail is surrounded by trees that help keeps it cool.  Never the less, it's hot for a dog, so there was a nice stream that I let Jesse cool off in at the end of our walk.  Speaking of Jesse.  Being home with her all day has gone a long, long way in our bonding.  I've always really liked her.  She's a great dog (except for the nasty chewing habit...which seems to be getting better at least), but I know what it's like to love a dog.  I mean really love a dog.  I still miss Junior and Sara so very much.  I can now say, that I have that same love for Jesse.  And she has that same love for me.  She's a Mama's girl, that's for sure.  And I have to say, I love it.  I also no longer call her Sara near as much.  I've caught myself before I've said it a couple of times, but it's been quite a while since I've slipped
up.

Have you seen "Extreme Weigh Loss" with Chris Powell?  I've seen it a few times, and I really enjoy it.  Last night's episode really kind of spoke to me. 
It was about a former athlete who put weight on after college, and it just kept going and going.  She eats her feelings.  She finds herself not wanting to leave her bedroom.  I could identify with so much of that.   I certainly don't feel like that all the time, and it hasn't affected me to the degree that it has her.  But we are so much the same.  I loved watching her triumph over her issues.  Oh, she also went white water rafting after losing some of the weight. I've wanted to do that so badly for a while now.  I even have a friend that's invited me a few times.  But my weight holds me back.  It was so cool to see her out there.  She was even at a heavier weight than me when she did it.  Anyway, it's so nice to see people overcome their fears like that.  It brought tears to my eyes.  Brian even said, if his tear ducts hadn't dried up years ago, he'd cry.  He's such a man...  It couldn't kill him to cry every once in a while.  Am I right?  :)

I should probably get a move on things.  It's going to take a lot to change this
body of mine.

Wishing you a day full of peace and happiness,

Jen


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A full weekend

8/25/2013

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The weekend is here. Let me say that again: the weekend is here.  It doesn't hold the same power that it did when I was working, but when you're home all week with the boys, it has a power of its own.  I love being with the boys, don't get me wrong.  But let me tell you, I can only answer so many "what if" questions from my youngest.  What if I'm a Nascar driver?  Will you watch me every day?  What if I'm a singer after I'm retired from driving?  Will you come to all of my concerts?  What if Danica had the pole position? What if...what if....  I love that boy dearly, but it is NON STOP.  So, the weekend allows me to have some adult time with my husband.  We've spent our time well.

Yesterday Brian and I drove to Vantage to take a walk along with the Columbia River.  The views were absolutely stunning.  Unfortunately there wasn't a walkway like Brian was thinking, but we just walked along the rocks on the coastline.  Let me tell you something...next year we will have a boat. I cannot go another year without a boat. If we didn't move out here, we were going to buy one this year.  I know, I know...I don't have a job, but I'm not letting that get in the way of my dream :) I love being on the water more than anything.  Perhaps that has something to do with growing up an island.  I know my friends from home all feel the same way about the water. After our walk, we went to a walking trail that had petrified trees.  It's the first time I've come across a "beware of rattlesnakes" sign while hiking.  We didn't go too far as we didn't have a snake bite kit or anything.  We can't wait to go back.  All in all, it was a lot of physical activity for me.  I'm not in shape at all, but being out in the wilderness was truly inspiring.  After dinner, Brian kept up our date day by going to dinner at our favorite place here, Ellensburg Pasta Company.  I'm telling you: it's the best Italian food I've ever had.  It's not the cheapest place, so we won't go often, but we have enjoyed the heck out if both times we've eaten there.  Back to "fat ass," behavior, we then went and got an ice cream cone.  We had heard about a park in town, so we took our ice cream down there, and checked it out. It looks like there are some great walking trails down there.  It's right along the Yakima River.  The river runs pretty fast, so I'll need to keep Jesse on a leash down there, but I know it's going to be our favorite local spot.  And there shouldn't be any rattle snakes down there :)  I bought a fitness watch a while ago.  I'm going to get that thing figured out tonight, and keep track of my calorie burns, etc.

Today, Sunday, has continued to add to the wonderful weekend.  We had our "Weekley Wars" fantasy football draft.  It's the first league Cal's been in, and it was the first time Ryne or the AZ Weekley's have been a part of a live draft. Last year we just did an auto draft. The kids, and us adults all had a great time!  Oh my, if you could hear the smack talk coming out of my kids, oh and
husband! lol  Usually I'm the biggest trash talker, but I think I helped Cal draft a better team than myself.  It'll all be good 'ol fashioned fun.  Last year Uncle David won, and he had himself a shirt made proclaiming being a champion :)

This is the last week before school starts.  It's going to be a crazy, busy week.  I still need to get all of their supplies, and get Ryne's P.E. uniform here in town. 
On Thursday, we are going over to Spokane to visit my sisters.  Friday we are taking the boys to Silver  Mountain theme park (and some Vancouver friends may be joining us, also).  On Sat, my friend H.P. is going to come out school clothes shopping with us.  I really look forward to spending some time with her. It's also the only day that Brooke has off, so we'll make the most of
it.  It promises to be a super busy, expensive, but fun week.  I'm really looking forward to it.

I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend.

Much Love,

Jen

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....."in bed."

8/21/2013

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It seems that I have left a little mark on the Midwest.  No...not a skid mark, but a little mark nonetheless.  My coworkers had never heard of adding, "in bed" to the end of a fortune cookie, fortune.  Before I left, we even had a little bracket tourney for the best fortune. Anyway, it's funny, I've gotten several texts of their fortunes since  I've gone.  It makes my day every single time.  Hey, at least I'm remembered :)

I'm still a little freaked out about not having a job, expensive rent, etc.  But I must tell you.  I'm so very happy that we are here.  I love looking out and
seeing the mountains every day.  Last night, while walking Jesse, we even got a great look at a forest fire on a mountain not too far from us.  It's horrible that there's a fire over there.  It really is such a beautiful area, but I was captivated by it. Cal and I watched for quite a while. It's much drier over here than in Seattle or Vancouver, but even the hills that are desert like, are pretty. Every time we leave the house, I try to take some of it in.  I hated the flatness of the Midwest.  I drove nearly an hour each way to work, and there wasn't one "hill" on that entire drive.  You would look out and just see total flatness or corn for as far as the eye could see.  My friend and I even drove an hour and a half away to "hike" up this mountain. Uh, let me tell you, if I could make it to the top, it was nothing more than a little hill.  Anyway, it's nice to be here and also so close to so many fantastic areas.

My sister Nealy and her family came through on Sunday.  They hadn't seen the boys in over 2 years.  It was such a wonderful visit.  That visit alone made the move so worth it.  I really have missed the fam.  We are going over next week to Spokane to visit Nealy and Brooke for a few days. I'm looking forward to
spending some good quality time with them.  We are also planning a day at
Silverwood Amusement park.  I'm looking forward to seeing the boys and their cousins have a blast, but of course, I'm already anxiety ridden about all of the physical-ness of spending a day at an amusement park.  I feel too big for rides and Lord Almighty...do I have anxiety about the water park.  I've been eating pretty good, and it's also been over a week since I've had a regular soda. I need to get on with the exercise, though.  As the saying goes, "excuses don't burn calories."  And honestly, I don't even have excuses right now.  I just have fear.  Fear of blowing my knee out.  Fear of what working out at the weight looks
like...  But it's going to happen.  Last night I watched a special on the '99 Women's World Cup team.  Man, that had to be the most exciting thing I'd ever seen. I remember something from each of those games.  Most of them were there, and they had extensive interviews with them now.  I loved seeing how in shape they still are, and their passion for life and excitement for the game.  It really was infectious.  I love the confidence that fit women have.  I long for that confidence.  It's a confidence I don't even know that they know they have.  It just goes with wearing track pants or shorts and not having to give any thought to it.  I want to be that...  I will be that.  Time to shut up and do....

Oh, I emailed a question into Jillian Michaels for her podcast.  I have my fingers crossed that she'll call.  I have no doubt one call from her could change my life :)

Sending you all good vibes,


Jen

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Moving and shitting in the water

8/13/2013

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Hello there!  I've been wanting to write for  a couple of days now, but I'm still in the unpacking phase of the move.  There's still tons to do, but it's much better to be on the unpacking versus packing side of things.  I came in the room for a little privacy, but as soon as I did, in came Cal.  He's lying next to me on the bed, playing his tablet.  I don't know that my creative juices will be flowing as much with him right here :)

So much has gone on since the last time I wrote.  My last day of work was a little sad.  I knew I was going to really miss some people.  I'm so grateful for the
people we met in IL.  It feels so great that I've been hearing from several of them since we left.  My last day of work was on a Friday, and the packing of the moving truck was set for Sat. THANK GOD for my coworkers and friends. The move was tough, and without them, I swear we'd sure be still be packing that thing up.  My friend Laura just took charge.  It was awesome.  She put in a full day at the house, and then text me early the next morning offering more help. 
Our friend Karl was also an enormous help.  He and Brian took charge of the actual loading of the truck.  Karl took the credit for compacting everything, due to his exceptional "Tetris" skills.  We also had help from other friends, and I'm so very appreciative. I've been trying to think of what "thank you" gift to send. 
I may look into some Alaskan smoked salmon.  I need to do it soon, you know before they forget me :)

We took 3 1/2 days to drive to Vancouver, WA.  Brian and I each drove a car, and for the most part Cal and Jesse drove with me, while Ryne chose to drive with Brian.  They were long days of driving, but it went better than expected.  Cal and I especially loved driving through WY. It was so nice to see mountains again!

Instead of coming straight to our new town, we chose to go to Vancouver
and spend a few days.  Brian hadn't seen his family in 2 years, and neither had the boys.  It was a little overwhelming to be around that many people, when we
haven't been around family in so long.  The boys were in absolute heaven, though.  Brian and I didn't make many plans while we were in town.  We chose to spend our time with just a few friends. We were so worn out from the previous two weeks, that I'm really glad we spent our time the way we did.  We
even spent one night out at Nurse Kristy's new house.  She has 2 1/2 acres out there, and it was so beautiful.  She has some deer that hang around the property.  We put Jesse in a dog run, and the deer stuck around for a while. NK and her boyfriend Gary made a wonderful dinner and we sat around outside talking for hours.  The whole night was absolutely perfect.  NK wanted to make sure we had a relaxing night, and she knocked it out of the park!

The next day we had arranged to pick up our stuff out of the Vancouver
house.  The renter turned into a squatter....  NK came with Brian and I to get our stuff, to find that the tenant (believe me, so many other words I could use there), had put our stuff outside at least a week or two before.  Almost everything was ruined.  A friend of mine had paperwork and stuff in our garage, and it too, was also destroyed. Seeing our stuff like that brought one of the sickest feelings to my stomach that I've ever had.  I don't understand how we went from "doing a favor" (to the renter, as she called it, as it truly was...), to being treated like that because it was time to move out.  She knew the house was for  sale, and it was month to month.  The closing on the house has been moved and is now in 2 days, and she's still there.  The buyer understands
there is a squatter, and he will deal with it.  I'm just praying we didn't have any
pictures in any of our stuff.  It was all soaked, and the boxes were falling apart when we were going through things, and it had been out there a while, so I was worried about mice or things.  It was all so senseless.  Even the paperwork for
the hot tub (which was downstairs of the house) was thrown out.  But I'm done being upset over all of it.  I'm not going to let a low life ruin any more of my time.

We spent the last day with Brian's Grandma.  The kids and cousins had gone with Brian's Mom and Step-Dad to the beach.  So, the house was considerably quieter.  It was really nice for Brian to have that one on one time with his Grandma.  Oh, we also took Jesse to play along the Columbia River that morning.  We are pretty sure it was the first time she'd been on a beach.  As soon as she touched the sand, she went crazy running in a Crazy 8.  I guess I should mention that she refused to go potty on a leash during the trip, so we got all sorts of lovely little surprises in the hotel room.  We took Jesse down to the river, and at first she didn't quite know what to make of the water, but she knew she liked it.  She didn't try swimming until another dog came down and showed her how it was done.  She was then a swimming machine, and she had a blast playing chase with the dog on the beach.  Jesse also liked the water enough to go potty in it.  She was almost neck high in water, and you could see her squatting to poop. The owner of the other dog, asked is she....pooping?  It was too funny.  She then proceeded to pee in there a few times, also.  What a strange dog we have!

The boys spent last week at the beach house with the grandparents and two of their cousins, who are the same age.  We were looking forward to having some
alone time.  While we made the most of a lot of our time, we found ourselves really missing the kids.  We drove over to Long Beach to pick them up this past weekend.  We got a room for us and Jesse while the kids had their last night with the fam.  We took Jesse to the beach a couple of times, where she picked right up with crapping in the water.  One time she did it with her ass facing us, and we got to see the big long thing come out of her butt, and start floating in the ocean.  So gross.  I'll bet you're glad told you that littler story, huh?

As I mentioned earlier, we are living amongst some boxes.  I'm so glad to have the truck unloaded and gone, though.  Brian and I unloaded that bad boy in one day.  Not bad for a hugely fat chick.  But let me tell you, I've been feeling it...  The weight is smothering me....  Today I started getting back on track, though.  I made a smoothie this morning, and added an apple, salad, and steamed broccoli to my day.  It was far from a perfect day, but it's a definite step in the right direction.  It's also the first time in a very long while that I didn't have a Pepsi.  Tomorrow's a new day, and I plan on making even more healthy choices.  I have to... I'm not myself.  I hate the mirror, and I have hardly anything that fits. It's actually really disturbing to me. I hate that I've let it get so out of hand.  But all I can do at this
point, is try to reverse the damage.


Here's wishing you a healthy and happy day!


Jen

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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