Leading up to this last weigh in I was feeling good. I could tell the weight was coming off. Brian was making lots of flattering comments.... All was good. I mean, I'd only had 2 beers that week, but that night I had the 2 beers I did eat a big dinner. But I felt really good about the week. Then the scale... I dropped 6 oz. 6 fucking oz. I mean should I have clamped down a littler harder when sitting on the pot? 6 fucking oz.... I was 3 oz. away from dropping down to that next 10. Trust me I was frustrated...truly frustrated, but I know the #'s don't lie. I also knew that this next week wasn't the perfect week to make it up. Ryne and I had to go to Seattle for a Dr.'s appt. We went over on Sunday and got situated at my dear friend, Misty's house. Misty and I went to a local bar to meet up with Alaska friends to watch the Seahawks game. As it turned out, my Mom met up with us there, too. I wasn't supposed to see her for a few days, but luck was on our side. It had been 2 1/2 years since I'd seen my Mom and most of the friends we met up with. The Hawks kicked ass, and the bar was a rocking. We all had a fantastic time. Of course by fantastic, I mean we ate way too much (and the wrong things) and drank a shit load.... I know you're wondering, and a shit load is: it's a shit ton :) Mom ended up staying a couple of days before going over to visit my sisters. We ate very poorly during her trip. I've worked really hard to recover this week, but I weighed myself this morning and was back up that 6 oz. I'm sure today hasn't done me any favors. I didn't eat enough today, and then I started drinking my calories. I'm not going to come out a winner today.
So Ryne's appointment finally provided us with some answers. We've done so many tests, and Thank God the super scary stuff was all eliminated. Ryne has Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Apparently it's not surprising to see it at his age. I guess at their age their bodies can by hypersensitive to things, that you and I might not even feel. We don't know if it's going to be that type of IBS (that he outgrows), or if this is the one that's going to stay with him. Ryne will continue on the meds that have been helping him, plus another supplement each day, and we have to really play with his diet. Anything that's considered to be a "gassy" food, is supposed to be off limits or limited. So, very low sugar, low dairy, avoid raw veggies, beans, etc.... The "safe" foods are meat (which kills me...), potatoes, rice, and some cooked veggies. I thank God every day, that we know what it is, and that hopefully we will get Ryne a good quality of life soon...
I know it's silly, but the appointment really took a lot out of me. I wish there was some magic pill (even more magic than the one he's taking), that could make him feel normal, but we'll get there.
We came back from the appt. Monday afternoon. From there, it's been a really crazy week. I loved spending time with Mom, but I also realized I'm more dependent on my new routine than first though. Man, I'm particular. I've stayed on track this week with walking, even though it was super freaking cold and windy all week. I also had parent teacher conferences the past two days for the boys. Cal's went really well. I've seen it first hand lately, as I've been volunteering during their class outings and a big project. Caleb really is a special kid. He is a so polite, and he tries so hard... Unfortunately for me, it's too hard for me to see him in the classroom environment. I spent the last school year, eating up everything his staff and teachers told me. "He's getting so social," etc. I had talked myself into believing that Cal is just one of the kids now... I so want him to fit in. Look, I know you're thinking, fitting in is overrated. I guess I don't want him to fit in, in that sense. I just want him to be able to get the words out when he's called on. I don't want to see his classmates frustrated by him, or even those that feel they need to help him. Of course, I so appreciate those kids, but I so want for him not to struggle. For him not to have Autism, no matter where he fits on that stupid fucking scale. I want him not to cry when there's a bee flying around. I'm coming off like an idiot, and I'm upsetting myself, so I'll move on.
Ryne's p/t conferences also went really well. Ryne can be super shy, so that sucks when he's missed so much school. He needs to communicate better with his teachers. Some have been totally awesome about letting some missed assignments go, as he's doing well on the test, etc. Others, are holding his feet to the fire, while still offering their support and help. Anyway, he'd made the past 2 weeks straight to school (other than missing Mon for his Seattle apt). He's getting on the right track, and thankfully that boy is naturally smart. Maybe too smart for his own good. Haha.
Things with me are fairly good. Most of the time I feel really head healthy. Every once in a while I'll doubt myself or a sadness will come over, but I've been dealing with those tiny moments well. All in all I'm pretty happy with myself. Of course I'm fucked up enough to write that sentence, and then think I need to follow it up with all my insecurities, but I'm not gonna :) I'm going to end on a good note.... I'm a good person, just trying to make a good life for me, my family, and my dog every day. ;)