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Diariesofafatass.com

Week 8 Weigh In  "Try"

11/4/2013

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Picture
I saw this today, and it really hit home with me.  This is such a simple saying, but it should be my mantra.  I think I've got the standing alone part down :)  Sometimes I know when I need help, but asking for it hard.  I suppose it's that way for most of us.  Especially if you're a stubborn fuck like me ;)  This rings true even with my own husband.  I hold it in and shut him out sometimes, and I did exactly that this past weekend.
We went to Seattle on Friday for Ryne's colonoscopy and endoscopy.  We checked in at noon, but the anesthesiologist was running behind, so I don't think Ryne actually went in until 2:30.  The procedure took about an hour or so.  We finally got out of there around 6.  What a long ass day!
Ryne was really a big boy about it all.  He certainly wasn't excited about having the procedure, but he is so ready to feel better.  He's ready to know why he's felt like shit for over 2 months now.  I was pretty proud of his attitude going into it.  After Ryne's Dr. was done, he met with us for 15 minutes or so to show us pictures and explain what he saw in there.  He saw inflammation markers, but that was expected.  Other than that, everything looked good inside.  We've got the color photos to prove it.  Yucky, haha.  The Dr. is now leaning toward Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  The pain meds do help (although don't make it go all the way away), and that's another sign that it might be IBS.  Anyway, the Dr. also took a couple of tiny biopsies while in there.  They are testing for IBS, celiac, and other things I can't think of.  It was such a quick discussion.  The results should be back in 1-2 weeks.  We meet again with the Dr. in a couple of weeks to go over everything and how to move forward.  Ryno is also going to take part in a pain study, while we are there.  I'm not thinking too much about IBS as we seem to keep going down different roads.  Hopefully this next appt. will provide some definitive answers.
Ryne woke up in quite the mood after coming out of sedation.  It lasted all night.  Boy oh boy...  Brian seemed to be in a mood, too, or maybe he just wasn't in the mood to put up with me.  Who knows.  The whole thing just wiped me out.  I mean...I felt like a walking zombie.  I still felt that way as we came home on Sat.  I couldn't snap out of it.  Brian was trying.  I holed up in my room, and he was in here with me holding my hand, etc.  Really, I just wanted to be alone.  I guess we all feel like that sometimes.  But he is my partner, and I need to do a better job of letting him in, sometimes.  (Like today with AD...haha).  My funk lasted the entire weekend.  I ate terribly Fri-Sun.  I also did shit for exercise.
This leads me to the weigh in.  I damn near took a mulligan.  I really, really did not want to get on that scale.  You know, the same scale that I gained 2 pounds on the week before.  Despite how horrible those 3 days were on my diet (btw..fucking Halloween candy...had to send it all to Cal to school for the troops.  I can't be around it), I had done fairly well on those days leading up to it.  Thurs. I did 19,500 steps.  By far, that was the most I'd done to date.   Anyhoo, with today's weigh in, I'd lost 13 oz.   I know, that's not good.  It really isn't, but I'll take it.  That's all I can do.  I've done a lot of thinking about my mindset over the weekend, and I know eating like that and staying in bed, does nobody any favors.  It doesn't make Ryne better, and it certainly doesn't make me better, and I NEED to get better....  Having this kind of excess weight is simply terrible and inexcusable.  If my younger self, knew that I would turn out to be an obese adult, she'd be mad as hell.  If you could make her believe it...she would be so disgusted.  So, today I put one foot in front of the other.  I've eaten really well.  I've been a good parent, wife, dog owner, and I'm currently at 12,693 steps.  I'm trying and today it isn't hard.  Life isn't always easy, but it's up to us to try....You know, as Pink likes to sing (best video of all time).  I was down for a couple of days, but I'm back up.  This is going to be a good weight loss week.  I know it!

I hope this day finds you all well!  I hope it's a day that didn't require any trying, that it was just an effortless good.

In honor of Try, I'll leave you with the lyrics to the song.  I know I've done that a few times already, but also my close friend Laura is going to this concert in Chicago tomorrow.  So, this is for her, too :)

Cheers my friends,

Jen

"Try"


Oh
oh

Ever wonder about what he's doing?
How it all turned to lies?

Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why

Where there is
desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's
bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna
die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try,
and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Eh, eh,
eh

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple
times
Why do we fall in love so easy?
Even when it's not right


Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a
flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and
try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and
try, and try

Ever worry that it might be ruined
And does it make you
wanna cry?
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just
getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by?

Where there is
desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's
bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna
die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try,
and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up
and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You
gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and
try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try,
and try, and try



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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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