So, the diet...I don't want to be all fancy and call it a lifestyle change, but also I know diet isn't the correct term. It's a term that's meant to not last. I guess I'll talk about the changes I'm making. Yeah, that'll work. I've been working it every day. I've been getting my steps in and paying attention to everything I eat. That doesn't mean, I'm perfect...oh, no. And if we want confirmation of that, we just need to talk to the lady I weigh in with every week. For me though, it really started with awareness. I have been unconsciously eating for so long now (or if we want to go super therapy on it-consciously in a bad way), that it's such a change to think about every choice I make. I'm still eating too many processed foods, and eating out too much, although the leaps I've made are huge. For every time the weigh loss counselor pointed out that the packet of instant oatmeal I ate was terrible, I thought about the fact that there was breakfast pizza or doughnuts at work that I didn't touch. When she started to get on me about the grilled bourbon salmon, garlic mashed and roasted vegetables I had one night-I snapped a bit. I told her we were out of town all weekend, and I didn't eat a thing I wanted, nor did I drink. I definitely shocked her with my little outburst, as I normally just sit there and die a little inside during the sessions. But really, I don't care for grilled salmon all that well, and we were at a friend's restaurant that I never get to...and they have the best mac and cheese and nachos! So, while there may have been better choices, I'm proud of the ones I made last weekend. I'm proud of going to Buffalo Wild Wings the next day and eating the shit out of the hummus plate and the raw veggies and getting the snack chicken tacos and only eating two of the three. A month from now, I'll probably be making even better decisions, but coming into this-I knew I had to start out crawling a bit. My crawl is slowly turning into a walk, though. I feel like I'm making better decision all the time. Now, the weigh-in...ugh... I was down half a pound. But you know what, I'll take that. It was the day before my period finally came (at that point I was 4 days late). I now only get this thing every three months, and for nearly two weeks, it was fucking with my body. I know there was retention there. I just kept thinking about how my pants are now falling down. How I can see it in certain areas, and how normally I don't believe people when they say they can tell...two of my coworkers pointed out the same area I first noticed it. My two weigh ins only amount to 5 pounds, but from the heaviest I got, not so long ago I'm down 30. If I think how far I need to go, it only fucks with my head. It has to be one day at a time with me.
One day at a time...leads to me to last night. I made good choices during the day, but instead of going on my walk last night, I had wine with a friend. After that, we had company where I had more wine and more calories than I have since I starting taking notice. Here's the thing...I'm not beating myself up over it. It happened, and it could've been worse. I only had 5,000 steps, but instead of resting on my laurels about hitting my steps the rest of the week, I'll do 15,000 today to make up those missing steps. I'll watch my food very closely this weekend. I would really like to say that I'm not going to drink, but given that I'm going to a wine tasting party tonight, that would be a lie. Ha. So, for this all or nothing person, I'm proud of the way I'm handling last night.
I could talk and talk and talk, and bore you even more, but I'm already running late. If you know me, you're not surprised by this.
If you're thinking about getting started on your journey, just remember, you don't have to wait until you feel ready. You can start now. You can crawl. I came into this kicking and screaming...and I'm so glad I did.
I'll leave you with this song I heard for the first time the other day. It really touched me in a couple of ways. Lady Gaga has such a beautiful voice. I hope you love it...be sure to watch.