I was able to get my 10k steps in on Sat and Sun. It was the first time in a while, as my back has really been acting up. I had an eval for physical therapy on Monday. I'm 4 weeks in, on what was supposed to be a 6 week stint. The good news is: there's progress. The bad news: it's ever so slow. The p/t gave me another 4 weeks and then wants to re-eval. It was a really frustrating day, as the evals just kill my back. Also, I just want it to be better and it just keeps getting tweaked. I feel like my back was so much better a few months ago, than it is now. Anyway, I made myself get my 10k again yesterday. I need to keep moving forward...even when I seemingly keep going backward. I've worked hard on shifting my bad attitude about it all. I don't like being a whiny bitch with excuses. Thankfully, it was fairly short lived.
I need to listen to my own advice and not weigh myself so often. It has been messing with my head lately. I came into this work week, really kicking some ass. I've been drinking tons of water, gave up Diet Coke again (I'd really slid this last month...), and really made some great choices. Yesterday, I was down 2 pounds for the week. This morning, I was only down a pound. Somehow, I gained a pound after an awesome day. I know it's a natural thing. The body fluctuates like that. I just really hate that shit on weigh in day. So, it held true at my weigh in this afternoon, down 1 pound. I'll still take it. I earned it. I feel like I earned the 2...but maybe that mysterious pound will go away as quickly as it appeared. I won't know, though-because I don't plan on weighing myself until next Wed. It has also been a great week in terms of support from friends in this journey. I have some that have leaned on me, which I love. I don't think they know how much being there for them, helps me. It keeps me honest. I want to help them. I want to lead by example. Really, it drives me probably more than anything. Today a guy out in the shop, (who I know but now well-certainly have never talked about weight loss with) stopped me and told me how good I look. (It's all relative-I have so far to go-but it was very nice of him). He asked me what I was doing and expressed concerns over his own weight and health. He was so honest in everything. I always appreciate honesty over everything-real. It really made me feel good, that he came to me and wants to make the types of changes he's seen in me. I explained to him, that I started changing my lifestyle for the same reasons he wants to-I wanted to feel better. Again, I was reminded I'm on the right path. The path that leads people who probably weigh 70 pounds less than me-to ask me what they should be eating. I love that they see the journey and not the person I still see-the person who has so far to go. I am truly grateful for these relationships, whether they be with people I have known my whole life, or someone I barely know.
We lost a close family friend on Monday. It has not been easy in a lot of ways. I hate thinking of people I love hurting so much. I hate being so far away from everyone. It kills me to know my Mom lost one of her dearest friends. It happened on my best friend's birthday, and I can't even begin to put myself in my Mom's place. I've been thinking a lot about memories from growing up around Ginny and her family. Some of my favorite moments were on her float house, the Bluebird. It was a tough couple of days leading up to it, and all I wanted to do Monday night was sit on my couch and drink wine and be sad. I knew that's what the Jen who gained all the weight would do, so I made myself go to aqua aerobics. I figured I could be sad there, just as easily as on my couch, without taking in calories. I'm glad I went. I'm glad the way I think about things has shifted, even though it's so hard to make that shift sometimes. I'd been thinking about going to Alaska for the 4th, but given everything, I really think I'm going to go. Life it too short. If I'm figuring right, it's been 7 years, since my sisters and I have all been together. I've got to make this trip happen. It will be nice to be home and see Ginny's family along with my own. It has simply been too long.
I'll leave you with a song I know I've put on here before. It's my friends Penny and Tracy (The Allen Sisters), Ginny's daughters. I love this song, and it is so Wrangell. They play it for me every time I'm home, and it's always the highlight of my trip. If you haven't seen this video, check it out. It's Wrangell in a nutshell, and I know who every person in this video is. I'm so lucky to have grown up the way I did. Here's to you Ginny. Godspeed.