It has been a busy day/night. I had to run to the store after work and hustle home to eat a quick dinner before getting Jesse out for a short, half hour walk. Let me tell you something...there's a big difference between thirty degrees and the 25 or so I walked in tonight. I'm still frozen. The wind was the biggest killer. I'm not sure what the wind chill factor was, but holy balls...I've walked several times at 30 now, but this was a whole new ballgame. I'm so glad I did it, though. Jesse has been going nuts inside, and I needed to hit my 10k steps. After that, was Caleb's Christmas band performance. For 7th Grade, those kids really did sound great. I was also able to sit with a co-worker and on the other side of me was a good friend of Cal's, mom. I hadn't seen her in a while and it was nice to chat a little. And now, here I am...a Christmas cookie candle going, the Christmas tree lights plugged in, Hairspray on in the background, and a glass of red wine. I'm going to make the most of this hour I have tonight.
Overall, I'll admit I've been feeling pretty defeated lately. Yesterday, I was really disappointed by some news I'd been expecting, but at the same time I was hoping for the best. It came at a time when my confidence was already quite rattled. It's funny how a couple of things will shift my way of thinking all the way across the board. I'm grateful that I'm aware this is not a permanent feeling, but still it sucks.
In my the midst of my confidence being destroyed, my friend Asha really did her best to uplift me. I'm grateful for a friend that will do her best in these times, even though she knows I just need to ride it out. Anyway, it was great timing that her gift of a light up Seahawks hat arrived today. It really did make my day. In fact, it's taking all I have not be wearing it while I write this blog. If it weren't for fear of running the little batteries out, I'd be rocking it right now!
Yesterday I had lunch with my coworker that was recently let go. I really miss our lunches. It's funny, I was walking past her cube yesterday and I turned toward it to say something to her. It's still a hard thing to wrap my head around. Well, all of it is. She is still as supportive as ever, and is really taking this opportunity to maintain a kick ass diet herself. I'm proud of her.
I was walking to my desk yesterday, and a co-worker was behind me and she asked where my ass went. Ha. Love it. I don't see it as much as I should, but I'm very aware of my weight loss. And unbelievably, I'm really proud of it... I had my weekly weigh-in today and I was down 3 1/2 pounds. Booya. (That's what I actually said while on the scale). In the two months, I've been weighing in with her, I've now lost 21 pounds. Overall, it's a very quiet fifty or so. I still have a million demons in my head that try to fuck with me, but my inner cheers are louder. After today's weigh-in, I can now ride any fucking zip line in Maui I want to. After the humiliation of the Maui trip and not being to ride any, it became my goal. I went in the opposite direction for a while getting to a weight that scares the shit out of me. I eventually found my way back, and here I am. One goal down. I'm now taking things ten pounds at a time. I'm now 9 pounds away from getting into that next number. I'm trying to focus on that as my goal. If I look at anything more than that, I get depressed and overwhelmed. So...here's to that next 9 pounds.
I again ask you to pray for Jeff and his family. His fight is coming to its end, and it's heart breaking. I'm sorry he and his family are going through this. I'm sorry the bff and her family are losing one of the most important people in their lives. I'm sorry the world is losing a good man. Please pray for his comfort and for God to provide comfort to his family and friends.
There are so many things that I've been writing in my head, but I should let you go. I've stolen enough of your time. I hope this Hump Day finds you happy and comfortable in your own skin. Cheers!
In honor of fifty....I'll leave you with some Paul Simon. Enjoy.