OMG....I woke up in the worst mood ever today. Seriously, not good. Not only did I yell at the kids, but I even yelled at Junior. Yes, I yelled at a dog that I love more than most humans, and who's kinda on his last legs. Hear me out....although there truly is no excuse. Junior now takes 10 pills a day. I'm telling you, he still has a good quality of life, though. Anyway, the last several days, he is only eating his pills (which we hide in cheese or bread). He pushes his food around, and it gets all over the floor. I nearly kill my foot in each and every room in the house every day, while stepping on one barefoot. Usually he decides he wants to eat his "breakfast" or most of it, around dinner time. So, this morning, was no exception. Junior ate his "pills," which kills me 'cause I don't want him taking those on an empty stomach. I then let him out, because for all of his nearly 13 years of life, he believes once he eats, he has to shit. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't travel that fast... I let him out, and of course he won't listen to me about coming in, even though it's in the teens outside and the wind is blowing like a mofo. Instead he decides to start mowing down on some frozen dog shit from the yard. Thus, the prevailing swear words that I yelled at Junior this morning. He must've thought I'd finally gone all the way off the deep end.
Anyhoo....I knew this wasn't going to be my best day.... After I dropped the boys off for school, I made an exceptionally healthy smoothie (water, 1/2 apple, inc. seeds, cup of kale, cup of frozen strawberries, and a tbs of flaxseed). This isn't my favorite, but I wanted to start my day off really healthily to try and turn my mood around. The shit didn't work. I laid down for another 30 mins or so, before I had to get up and go see the psych that gives me my meds. He likes to evaluate every month or so. I drove the 45 mins to the apt. to wait 45 mins for him (even though I was his first patient of the day). The really stellar news is that I've gone from clinically "very severe depression" to "normal" in just over a month. (I didn't realize the VERY was in the initial diagnosis). Anyway, great mood, but it did nothing to change my mood that day. Although, when he saw the results it sounded like he orgasmed right then and there. He was very, very happy. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know about this, as so many of us do suffer from clinical depression. I've tried a few different types of meds, but nothing has really worked. It really is a trial and error thing. If you're going through this now. Don't give up hope...there's a combo out there that can help. Keep searching until you find it. It will give you your life back.
So, given the ultra smart person that I am....I realize most of the way through the day, that it's fucking PMS! I can't believe I didn't realize it earlier. What a dumb fuck.
So, I really tried to get back on the horse today. I ate way too many carbs, but I did eat a lot of healthy things. For the day I'm having, I'm proud of my choices.
Although I must say, I was starving all day and did eat too much...
8:00 Green smoothie (see above)
9:00 Caffeine Free Diet Coke (drank about 1/2 can)
12:00 Small baked potato (w/ small amt of Earth Balance, sour cream and cheese...), big ass salad: spinach, spring mix, and honey mustard dressing, oh and a few black olives.
Cup of Green Tea
2:00 Thin whole wheat bagel w/ pb and a banana
Cup of Green Tea
3:30 Bowl of Rice Chex w/ soy milk and small amt of sugar
5:45 Whole wheat pasta w/ Marinara, black olives, and Morning Star Farms (ground "hamburger), broccoli, and another salad, same as above
7:30 1 Oatmeal Scottie cookie (I've decided if I've going to eat any sweets, it's going to be something I've made, no processed). I substituted the butter for Crisco (which is still shit, but half the fat), and used Stevia instead of sugar. Tastes exactly the same. I put the rest in the freezer, in case of emergency.
8:45 Nightime herbal tea
Oh wait, the one positive to my day, was listening to "What You Waiting For" by Gwen S. on my way to my apt. What a great workout song. Except in my case, I'd have to change "Million Dollar contract, and their all waiting for your hot track" to "Zero dollar contract and their all waiting for my hot ass." lol Oh, to live inside my head. If you know me, you know I love Gwen. In fact, Brian and I had the talk about the lists again the other day. They may as well be notarized. If Gwen sees me in the front row one day, and is so taken back by me, and decides to lock one on me. It'll be okay :)
"What You Waiting For?"
What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
(La la la la la)
Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversations,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?
Naturally i'm worried if i do it alone
Who really cares cuz it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance cuz you might grow
Oh... ohhh
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Take a chance you stupid whore
Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish
Your moment will run out
Cuz of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)
Oh... oh ooh
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...
GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
Take a chance, you stupid whore
What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
Take a chance, you stupid whore
Anyhoo....I knew this wasn't going to be my best day.... After I dropped the boys off for school, I made an exceptionally healthy smoothie (water, 1/2 apple, inc. seeds, cup of kale, cup of frozen strawberries, and a tbs of flaxseed). This isn't my favorite, but I wanted to start my day off really healthily to try and turn my mood around. The shit didn't work. I laid down for another 30 mins or so, before I had to get up and go see the psych that gives me my meds. He likes to evaluate every month or so. I drove the 45 mins to the apt. to wait 45 mins for him (even though I was his first patient of the day). The really stellar news is that I've gone from clinically "very severe depression" to "normal" in just over a month. (I didn't realize the VERY was in the initial diagnosis). Anyway, great mood, but it did nothing to change my mood that day. Although, when he saw the results it sounded like he orgasmed right then and there. He was very, very happy. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know about this, as so many of us do suffer from clinical depression. I've tried a few different types of meds, but nothing has really worked. It really is a trial and error thing. If you're going through this now. Don't give up hope...there's a combo out there that can help. Keep searching until you find it. It will give you your life back.
So, given the ultra smart person that I am....I realize most of the way through the day, that it's fucking PMS! I can't believe I didn't realize it earlier. What a dumb fuck.
So, I really tried to get back on the horse today. I ate way too many carbs, but I did eat a lot of healthy things. For the day I'm having, I'm proud of my choices.
Although I must say, I was starving all day and did eat too much...
8:00 Green smoothie (see above)
9:00 Caffeine Free Diet Coke (drank about 1/2 can)
12:00 Small baked potato (w/ small amt of Earth Balance, sour cream and cheese...), big ass salad: spinach, spring mix, and honey mustard dressing, oh and a few black olives.
Cup of Green Tea
2:00 Thin whole wheat bagel w/ pb and a banana
Cup of Green Tea
3:30 Bowl of Rice Chex w/ soy milk and small amt of sugar
5:45 Whole wheat pasta w/ Marinara, black olives, and Morning Star Farms (ground "hamburger), broccoli, and another salad, same as above
7:30 1 Oatmeal Scottie cookie (I've decided if I've going to eat any sweets, it's going to be something I've made, no processed). I substituted the butter for Crisco (which is still shit, but half the fat), and used Stevia instead of sugar. Tastes exactly the same. I put the rest in the freezer, in case of emergency.
8:45 Nightime herbal tea
Oh wait, the one positive to my day, was listening to "What You Waiting For" by Gwen S. on my way to my apt. What a great workout song. Except in my case, I'd have to change "Million Dollar contract, and their all waiting for your hot track" to "Zero dollar contract and their all waiting for my hot ass." lol Oh, to live inside my head. If you know me, you know I love Gwen. In fact, Brian and I had the talk about the lists again the other day. They may as well be notarized. If Gwen sees me in the front row one day, and is so taken back by me, and decides to lock one on me. It'll be okay :)
"What You Waiting For?"
What an amazing time
What a family
How did the years go by?
Now it's only me
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
(La la la la la)
Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversations,
Shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that you're a climber?
Naturally i'm worried if i do it alone
Who really cares cuz it's your life
You never know, it could be great
Take a chance cuz you might grow
Oh... ohhh
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Take a chance you stupid whore
Like an echo pedal, you're repeating yourself
You know it all by heart
Why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish
Your moment will run out
Cuz of your sex chromosome
I know it's so messed up how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, you're capable (uh huh)
Oh... oh ooh
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
I can't wait to go
Back and do Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style...
GO!
LOOK AT YOUR WATCH NOW!
YOU'RE STILL A SUPER HOT FEMALE!
YOU GOT YOUR MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!
AND THEY'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR HOT TRACK!
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for!?
What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
Take a chance, you stupid whore
What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?
Take a chance, you stupid whore
Take a chance, you stupid whore
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