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Diariesofafatass.com

What? No Natalie Maines references?

12/14/2011

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I should be creating a calendar on Walmart.com right now, but the damn thing just keeps "thinking."  Ugh.  I'd sufficiently gathered a nice little buzz in order to sit in front of this computer for the next few hours.  The plan is to make it for my mom, and with that, there will be a million names to add to the calendar.  Mom's side of the family is so big.  Of course, now we're all getting older and there's more kids involved, ppl got married, blah, blah, blah.  I also want to add Mom's good friends, and she does have many.  And while I'm at it, I figure I'll get myself a copy.  So, I need to add my friends that I consider "family."  This includes a number of us that turn 40.... in 2012 (except Caity, she beats us to the punch on the 20th of this month).  For a normal person, doing a calendar probably wouldn't be such a big job, but then again, it's me that we're talking about.  I have absolutely no patience for sitting in front the screen for any length of time.  Plus, I never know how to size the f'ing pictures right.  Hopefully the site starts working soon, or I may decide to have another beer, and well...it could get ugly from there.  The computer may hear many a swear word.

Today was way meloncholy.  I worked on getting birthdays for the calendar a good part of the morning.  I also had a really nice talk with Nealy and my Auntie Clara.  Between texts to get birthdays, and going through Facebook to grab birthdays, it actually made a fairly full morning.  When I needed a break from the research, I got my fat ass a cleaning.  The good kind of cleaning.  The kind of cleaning, where you hope people just decide to drop in, and think that your house is always that clean.  I was scrubbing toilets, doing laundry, and on my hands and knees on the floors of the bathroom.  Now, there are more fun things I can think of for that position, but this was just for scrubbing the floors.  Get your minds out of the gutters.  What kind of people do I associate myself with, anyway?  That's right...the good kind!

After school, Cal had his buddy come over to play.  This also meant that his friend's mom and sisters came, too.  I really enjoy visiting with Amanda.  She's good people.  She's one of those people that you know if absolutely genuine and has a heart of gold.  She also appears to be one of those people that our parents probably wished we'd have grown up to be :)  Anyway, I'm glad to have her as a friend.

We don't have much for groceries in the house, so we had to feed the boys chicken nuggets, corn, and fruit for dinner.  Of course, this was totally fine for them.  It didn't leave much of an option for Brian and I, though.  I'd already had a bowl of cereal for lunch.  So, I went down to the diner to grab us some dinner.  While the food was being made, I went next door and had a drink.  It's the strangest thing.  6 months ago, I would've cringed at going out into public on my on.  Now, I relish in it.  I am really starting to enjoy my alone time.    I don't mind eating at a restaurant alone (which, before I would never, ever do).  I don't even mind sitting in a bar, and having a drink by myself.  It's my time.  I relax and just enjoy taking in what's going on around me.  Now, don't get worried, it's not something I'd like to do often.  But I am glad, that I'm adjusting to myself....that I'm enjoying just being with myself...that I'm confident enough to know that I'm worthy of spending time with anyone, and vice verse.  I no longer feel that I'm not good enough for people.  This is actually really huge for me.  I'm nearly 40, and for the first time, I can probably say that not only do I like myself, but that I love myself.  Pretty damn cool.

Anyway, after I got home, Brian and I watch the season finale of the Biggest Loser.  I was quite pissed, as when I turned on my computer this morning, the winner was right there.  Grrrrr!  Anyway, overall, we were pretty disappointed with the finale.  Maybe I just miss Jillian too much.  Who knows.  But you've got to admit: Bob, Dolvette, and Anna equal one hell of an f/m/k.  Really.  Think about it.  It's not so easy.

Well, I guess I should get back to trying to make this calendar.  Hope you are all well.

G'nigh,

Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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