A week ago today I had my mammogram. I'd started the day off right by making a smoothie, by the time I was done at the hospital, I'd stressed myself to the point that I ran to food. I knew what I was doing...It was more than a moment of weakness, it had become habit by that point. Only this time, instead of getting a Filet o' Fish (you know...because I allow for seafood....), I got a Big Mac. The craving for meat this past PMS was off the charts. In truth, after having meat on the drive out here to IL, I've probably eaten meat another 4 or 5 times. By far, this has been the biggest slip up since quitting eating meat (except seafood and eggs) nearly 5 years ago. I've eaten more meat the past 6 weeks, than I had in that 5 years total. I'm not proud of it. I have truly been out of control. I knew that going into last Wed. Only last Wed. was different. I made my colossal mistake (but thankfully did not drink a regular soda...was able to keep my part up there) at lunch, but I ate smart at dinner. I did not let my failure dictate my whole day. For the first time in many, many months, I put thought into what I put into my body. I've continued "thinking" about everything that's gone into my body, since. Mind you, it doesn't mean that I've been perfect. In fact, it's far from perfect in terms of Eat to Live, but many of the principles have been there, and a couple of days really resembled the plan. My eating habits this past week are a far cry from the mindless eating I've been doing for quite some time. The mindless eating which brought me to my all-time heaviest weight. I'm not ready to talk about the actual number. I'm ashamed of what I've done to myself, but I'm proud of where I'm going. Before I disclose my week 1 weight loss, I will admit that I was on day 2 of my hellacious period last Wed. I'm sure that made my weight higher than it would've been. Anyway, I've lost 7 1/2 pounds this past week! Yay me! I'm down 11 pounds total from the heaviest weigh in since moving out here. Overall, I'm happy with the number. I wish I could be thrilled, but I know I could do better. That's me being hard on myself, I know. I've been walking each week day morning with my friend, but I know I should be doing more. I know I'm capable of more... I need to workout in addition to the walks. I really wish my walking partner wanted to do more, but she's content with walking. For someone who is really competitive, it's a little maddening sometimes, but I'm really happy that we have each other to walk with. I'm not a morning person, so in meeting her in the mornings, it forces me to start my day right.
I know I've droned on and on today about my journey this past week. I'm really taking one day at a time. I'll continue to make mistakes, but they will be the exception not the rule. The battle will always be in my head. What's worked for me this last week, when I really want to stray, is I just keep telling myself to show some discipline. And what do you know? It's been working. haha. Okay, okay, I'll shut up now. Thanks for being here. I really mean it. Here's hoping that you're finding your "discipline" as well.