I used to never think there was such a thing as too quiet. Now....it's just that. I have an hour and a half to myself, and I'm going crazy. If I were smart, I would've chosen to go for a walk, instead of getting caught up on Words. But alas, we all know I don't prioritize correctly. In all, today has been a really good day full of friends. I had a couple of really great chats with 2 of my closest friends, and I rec'd a really nice, unexpected call from Le Ann. It was so good to catch up with her! I love those good friend days. The days where your friends just kind of carry you through the day, making you laugh all the while.
Today I had a mtg w/ Cal's staff at school. I'm really excited about this new school for him. The staff really seems to know what they are talking about. It's such a refreshing relief. Cal is excited to start school tomorrow, also. I know he's ready to get into a routine. This summer has been kind of crazy! Ryne also starts tomorrow (Middle School!), but he's not at all looking forward to going and starting at a new school. At least he should know some kids. There are 40 kids on his 6th Grade football team. I love that football starts before the school year. It'll be such a great help to his transition. Even more so this year, than last. He seems to enjoy football a lot more this year. I'm really hoping for big things for both of the boys this year. If they love it, and we feel it's a real positive, it'll be so tough to leave here.... So, I know we'll end up having to suck it up and stay out here.
Speaking of staying out here.... I'm certainly liking it much more out here now, than I ever have. I've finally got a couple of friends, which helps. But I also like the little town we are in. I do wish it were bigger, though. But it's so much better than where we were. I'm really hoping we can buy some POS boat next summer, too. A summer on the river, would make all the difference. Being on the water is absolutely my favorite thing. I miss NK's boat, "Lulu." And of course, I miss Wrangell. You didn't even have to be on a boat there. It's so pretty from every direction. As long as you don't mind sitting on the rocks, you can take that beauty and serenity in anywhere. I really wish you all could experience it.
I must admit that my diet has been shit again this week. No excuse for it. It just sucks. It's so nice that I sabotage myself right before my trip. What a dumb fuck.
Anyway, a new really great friend sent me the YouTube video for this Gotye song the other day. It really does have great lyrics. I'm sure some of you can relate. It's hard for me to listen to songs about depression, though. If I'm not in it. I love to live in denial that it'll never hit me again, and I brought it on myself and won't allow that to happen again, blah, blah, blah. But fuck. It's there sometimes, and I absolutely know that when I'm in a funk, noboby can pull me out of it. It has to come from me, somehow. And maybe that's what this song is about for me, saving myself. And the same goes for my new good friend who shared it with me. She's proud of taking care of herself. Hope you like it. And btw. MOFO. Gotye is not someone I'd normally find hot, but damn, there's something about that artsy mother fucker. I've got as list to make before next Friday, and sob, he might make the f'ing thing. Oh, I'll catch hell for that one!
"Save Me"
In the mornings
I was anxious
It's better just to
stay in bed
Didn't want to fail myself again
Running through all the
options
And the endings
Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn't
choose a thread to begin
And I could not love
'Cause I could not love
myself
Never good enough, no
That was all I'd tell myself
And I was not
well
But I could not help myself
I was giving up on living
In the
morning
You were leaving
Travelling south again
And you said you were
not unprepared
And all the dead ends
And disappointments
Were
fading from your memory
Ready for that lonely life to end
And you gave
me love
When I could not love myself
And you made me turn
From the way
I saw myself
And you're patient, love
And you help me help myself
And
you save me
And you save me
Yeah you save me
In the mornings I was anxious It's better just to stay in bed
Didn't want to fail myself again
Running through all the options
And the endings Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn't choose a thre
Today I had a mtg w/ Cal's staff at school. I'm really excited about this new school for him. The staff really seems to know what they are talking about. It's such a refreshing relief. Cal is excited to start school tomorrow, also. I know he's ready to get into a routine. This summer has been kind of crazy! Ryne also starts tomorrow (Middle School!), but he's not at all looking forward to going and starting at a new school. At least he should know some kids. There are 40 kids on his 6th Grade football team. I love that football starts before the school year. It'll be such a great help to his transition. Even more so this year, than last. He seems to enjoy football a lot more this year. I'm really hoping for big things for both of the boys this year. If they love it, and we feel it's a real positive, it'll be so tough to leave here.... So, I know we'll end up having to suck it up and stay out here.
Speaking of staying out here.... I'm certainly liking it much more out here now, than I ever have. I've finally got a couple of friends, which helps. But I also like the little town we are in. I do wish it were bigger, though. But it's so much better than where we were. I'm really hoping we can buy some POS boat next summer, too. A summer on the river, would make all the difference. Being on the water is absolutely my favorite thing. I miss NK's boat, "Lulu." And of course, I miss Wrangell. You didn't even have to be on a boat there. It's so pretty from every direction. As long as you don't mind sitting on the rocks, you can take that beauty and serenity in anywhere. I really wish you all could experience it.
I must admit that my diet has been shit again this week. No excuse for it. It just sucks. It's so nice that I sabotage myself right before my trip. What a dumb fuck.
Anyway, a new really great friend sent me the YouTube video for this Gotye song the other day. It really does have great lyrics. I'm sure some of you can relate. It's hard for me to listen to songs about depression, though. If I'm not in it. I love to live in denial that it'll never hit me again, and I brought it on myself and won't allow that to happen again, blah, blah, blah. But fuck. It's there sometimes, and I absolutely know that when I'm in a funk, noboby can pull me out of it. It has to come from me, somehow. And maybe that's what this song is about for me, saving myself. And the same goes for my new good friend who shared it with me. She's proud of taking care of herself. Hope you like it. And btw. MOFO. Gotye is not someone I'd normally find hot, but damn, there's something about that artsy mother fucker. I've got as list to make before next Friday, and sob, he might make the f'ing thing. Oh, I'll catch hell for that one!
"Save Me"
In the mornings
I was anxious
It's better just to
stay in bed
Didn't want to fail myself again
Running through all the
options
And the endings
Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn't
choose a thread to begin
And I could not love
'Cause I could not love
myself
Never good enough, no
That was all I'd tell myself
And I was not
well
But I could not help myself
I was giving up on living
In the
morning
You were leaving
Travelling south again
And you said you were
not unprepared
And all the dead ends
And disappointments
Were
fading from your memory
Ready for that lonely life to end
And you gave
me love
When I could not love myself
And you made me turn
From the way
I saw myself
And you're patient, love
And you help me help myself
And
you save me
And you save me
Yeah you save me
In the mornings I was anxious It's better just to stay in bed
Didn't want to fail myself again
Running through all the options
And the endings Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn't choose a thre
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