What a day today has been and it's not even halfway over. We do have Ryne's Christmas program tonight, though, and I'm looking forward to that. This is his first year in band (he's playing the trumpet), so it'll be different :) Cal had his last week, and it was way cute.
I met with the lady therapist again today. Beforehand, I decided, wtf, I'm just going to go in and let it all out there. I've never done that before. It took me a good year, year and a half to talk about some things with my last therapist, even though I loved her. I just want to get through some things. So, I gave a brief account of some major things in my life, including one that I never like to think about, let alone talk about. We all have our shit. My shit is probably no worse than your shit, but I just don't seem to deal with some things well. That's why I laid it all out there today. I've got to learn to deal with things better. I know how to forgive, I need to learn how to forget. I need to not let scars open up without warning. They say time heals all wounds, but I'm not at all patient :) Or, if I think they've healed they like to sneak up and fuck with me again. So, anyway today was draining to say the least. After I got home, Mary text and asked if I wanted to meet her at the bar that Suzi runs, as she was going to have some lunch there. I met up with her, and I had 2 "sissy" drinks. That probably wasn't the smartest idea, as I ended up about in tears. Of course, I didn't let anyone see it, and just left early and came home to a quick nap. I awoke much more refreshed. I'm taking today for what it is, just a draining day. Anyone who opens up that much about anything in one day, is going to feel it. The pain is already leaving me, though. For this, I am thankful.
I don't know about you guys, but I need some good girl time. I'd give anything to hang out w/ the girls right now. I'd love to play the jukebox, play a little pool, play a little f/m/k, do our lists, and talk about the great memories we have with each other. Just now, I started cracking up, thinking about the party at Carly's house a couple of years ago, when we sat around the table, and we all told stories about the guys that we'd made out w/ when we lived there. We had some shockers! That was pure, fucking gold. Good stuff. I love that. I love having friends that I can trust with anything and vice verse. I feel blessed to have you in my life. I know if you're reading this, it's because you care about me. It certainly can't be about me teaching you how to get healthy, as I can't seem to do that for myself these days. Love you guys! Oh, and if anyone's feeling like they need to get out of Dodge, I'd love you to come visit me. There's an air mattress with your name on it. Only the best for you!
Much love,
Jen
I met with the lady therapist again today. Beforehand, I decided, wtf, I'm just going to go in and let it all out there. I've never done that before. It took me a good year, year and a half to talk about some things with my last therapist, even though I loved her. I just want to get through some things. So, I gave a brief account of some major things in my life, including one that I never like to think about, let alone talk about. We all have our shit. My shit is probably no worse than your shit, but I just don't seem to deal with some things well. That's why I laid it all out there today. I've got to learn to deal with things better. I know how to forgive, I need to learn how to forget. I need to not let scars open up without warning. They say time heals all wounds, but I'm not at all patient :) Or, if I think they've healed they like to sneak up and fuck with me again. So, anyway today was draining to say the least. After I got home, Mary text and asked if I wanted to meet her at the bar that Suzi runs, as she was going to have some lunch there. I met up with her, and I had 2 "sissy" drinks. That probably wasn't the smartest idea, as I ended up about in tears. Of course, I didn't let anyone see it, and just left early and came home to a quick nap. I awoke much more refreshed. I'm taking today for what it is, just a draining day. Anyone who opens up that much about anything in one day, is going to feel it. The pain is already leaving me, though. For this, I am thankful.
I don't know about you guys, but I need some good girl time. I'd give anything to hang out w/ the girls right now. I'd love to play the jukebox, play a little pool, play a little f/m/k, do our lists, and talk about the great memories we have with each other. Just now, I started cracking up, thinking about the party at Carly's house a couple of years ago, when we sat around the table, and we all told stories about the guys that we'd made out w/ when we lived there. We had some shockers! That was pure, fucking gold. Good stuff. I love that. I love having friends that I can trust with anything and vice verse. I feel blessed to have you in my life. I know if you're reading this, it's because you care about me. It certainly can't be about me teaching you how to get healthy, as I can't seem to do that for myself these days. Love you guys! Oh, and if anyone's feeling like they need to get out of Dodge, I'd love you to come visit me. There's an air mattress with your name on it. Only the best for you!
Much love,
Jen
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