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Diariesofafatass.com

The Sins of the Week

2/23/2017

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This quote is from Geneen Roth. I adore her. She wrote, Women, Food, and God and When Food is Love among many other books (although the others I have not read). I follow her on Facebook, and her posts always give me pause for thought. I found Geneen (I call my fictional friends by their first names) by the way I've found many things I love: Oprah told me to. To this day, Oprah can sell me on just about anything, as evidenced by the $6 I recently paid to read three pages on her in a People magazine. She hasn't steered me wrong many times, with the exception of one or two of her diet/fitness related books. Funny enough, I couldn't relate to them....

My birthday week has treated me very well. It all started with a three day weekend with my friend D. We couldn't have dialed up weather any more perfect. There was even a record high on Sunday. We had a lot of quality spa time, drank some great wine, ate some wonderfully bad food, had some good laughs, and had a lovely walk every day. My actual birthday was really nice as well. I heard from family and some amazing friends, all day long. I was spoiled rotten by many people and was so touched by the time and effort they put into some extremely thoughtful gifts. It was also a great day of reflection about the year and how blessed I am to have the people I have in my life. 

Mentally, I sure don't feel 45. Physically....well, that's a different story. I don't know what 45 is supposed to feel like, but my body has been putting me through the ringer lately. My workplace lets you leave three hours early on your birthday. I used my three hours to go to a spine center and get my back twisted and turned every which way. I'm still feeling it in the worst way. This Dr. doesn't think my current issue is related to the DISH. She believes it's muscle related and prescribed some physical therapy and other stuff to see if we can see any improvement. She wanted to give me an injection, but I decided to wait and see how the PT, etc. goes. Also, I need to know exactly what is helping me. If I'm numbed up, I won't know if it's the shot or if certain stretches exercises can actually help. Anyway, it sounds like my back is a mess, to which she says I may just always have issues. I refuse to believe it, though. Hopefully she's setting me on the right path. Along those same lines of being 45....I asked a friend about an eye puffiness cream she's recommended, but I couldn't remember the name. I've tried everything under the sun, but I'm always willing to try something else. Again, hope. Anyway, she ordered it for my birthday. Ha! It is a very generous, thoughtful gift, but boy have the years changed us :)

I went into this week, expecting my first weight gain in 4 months. I hoped by mentally preparing myself, it would lessen the blow. I wanted to go on the trip and not be consumed by everything I put in my body. There was a fairly healthy mixture of being aware of what I was eating and letting myself indulge. I had a lobster dinner, complete with all the courses. We ate a thing of brie while we were there, and we drank a lot of wine. We also made a lot of good food choices, and we got in 13-15,000 steps every day we were gone. My birthday was the day before the weigh-in. I had Thai for lunch and Mexican for dinner. All of this said, I had a 1.2 pound gain. I wish I could be as cool as I wanted to be about it, but it definitely stings. I know it could've been so much worse, given some of the choices I made, and I do hold onto that. A great takeaway from the weekend was, even giving myself free reign, I never felt it was okay to go absolutely crazy. We went away a year ago, and I remember bringing big ass muffins for breakfast and other such total shit, waste of calories/fat. I refuse to do that to myself now. I don't want to ever be in a mindless place, where I put no thought into my food choices. I'm glad I'm in a place of being totally accountable for what is going on with my body, even if it means I gained 1.2 pounds. I've gotten back on track, and am excited about this next month. I'm ready to kick some ass. If you want to join me, hit me up. Seriously, the more, the merrier!

While I'm thinking of it, I'll pass along a tip I heard years ago. We know that most salad dressings are full of calories and fat. In fact, salad dressing is usually the highest fat intake a person has in a day. I do put yogurt salad dressing over my salad, but for all other dressings- I get it on the side and dip my fork into the dressing before taking a bite of salad. I'm telling you, you get the taste you want and you use far less than if you put it directly on the salad. In fact, I just order whatever dressing I'm craving and use it this way. I feel completely satisfied while only using a tiny fraction of what I would have otherwise. Seriously, try it out.

While I always appreciate so many things on my birthday, it also comes with a sadness each year. It is the anniversary of my step-dad's death. I replay the moment of finding out over and over in my head, every year. I think a lot about him. I think a lot about my sister Brooke, and her loss. Mark was a disc jockey, and later also a station manager while I was growing up. He would always play us a song on our birthday. Tuesday, I got into my car to go to work and "Centerfield" by John Fogerty began to play. Of all the songs Mark played for me over the years, it's this one I remember most vividly. I had a good softball game and he gushed about me on the radio and played the song in my honor. So, I'll leave you with Centerfield. Mark, I hope this makes you smile.

​~Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: [email protected]


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