Baseball, baseball, baseball...It has certainly kept me running lately. Brian is working a shit load, so I've been the ultimate soccer mom lately. Caleb finally had his last game on Friday night, though. Ryne is in the playoffs now (they got their ass handed to them yesterday), and he plays tonight and tomorrow night. Then, freedom, sweet freedom! Ryne has football and Cal's about to start swimming again, but I can live with those schedules. They keep you busy, but it's nothing like baseball with two kids in different leagues in different cities. I love baseball, and I'm so happy the enjoy it so much, but so long to this season. I feel like I want to walk away from the game tomorrow night, middle finger aloft, like Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club I can't, but in my head that's what will be happening.
I've also forced myself to work on the book where I can this week: lunches, late at night, etc. I'm getting there. I had a lengthy conversation with my editor last night. It's so close....like really close. Close enough that we are making my plan of attack for publishing, etc. She's tied up with other jobs, but she'll be working off my latest edit, starting 8/10. By Sept 1, I should have it back. I'm sure there will be very tiny tweaks at that point, but the end is in sight. Like really in sight. I can't tell you how great that feels. Well, I say this, but there are publishing stuff I'm going to have to be way patient over, but I will be glad when I can call it a book. I can't wait to work on the art for the cover, etc. I confessed to her last night, that I've been writing the forward and thank you's in my head for a couple of months now. She laughed and told me that, that's always a joke amongst writers. They all have their head shots and forwards written before they've even started their book. She really got my attention with "head shot." I hadn't even given a thought to my picture being on this thing. Talk about motivation to lose weight. Holy fuck. I wonder if I can just submit the picture of me cutting down the net after we won the championship my senior year of high school? It's one of the few pictures I like of myself. Really, I need to get slimmer. I need to feel like a fucking person again. Being this heavy, is a whole different ballgame than what being heavy meant to me before. Now, it scares the shit out of me, for my health. I feel like people look at me differently. I never realized how much I'd miss being flirted with, because it was nothing I ever thought about before. But it rarely happens now. Every once in a while, once someone gets to know me, it happens. But that's not the same. Yeah, it's not. Who knew I would ever even know or care about that? Thankfully, Brian still treats me the same that way. I don't know how in the fuck how, but he does.
O.K., I better get back to the book. I hope today finds you well and taking time to enjoy the little things, like being flirted with.
Much Love,
Jen