S0, 9 minutes ago the Biggest Loser started. I'm recording it, so I can watch it with Brian in a bit. It's the one show we watch together, but he makes me fucking nuts. Ugh. Now, I'm not looking forward to it...just thinking of the insulting things he'll say about the cast. I know he doesn't mean it and is trying to be funny. But it really fucking pisses me off. I think he believes I'm joking when I get pissed, but really I want to scratch his eyeballs out. That's all.
Yesterday was the big Dr.'s appointment for Ryne. I knew better than to walk out of there knowing what's going on with him, but of course I hoped for an instant diagnosis. No such luck, but it was great to be in front of a Dr., where this was his specialty. They ran a bunch more tests, but it will take up to 2 weeks to get some of the results. They also want to test his stool, but poor kid hasn't been able to go. Well, poor me, too. I really don't want to dig through his feces and bring it to the lab. Haha. A lot of the time, this ends up being Mono (which I know they've already tested for, but he's testing again). Other times, it's a stomach infection that gets out of control and can't seem to heal on it's own. They gave Ryne some things to help flush out his system and in the process hopefully flush out whatever it is in the process. They've also given him something for the pain. It's only supposed to take 30 mins to start helping, but it's taking a couple of hours and it's minimal and doesn't last long. Hopefully his body will start responding to it better soon. Oh, and he's also off sugar (including sugar substitues and fruit) for 2 weeks. Sugar is supposed to make stomach pain worse. The goal of course is to keep him in school. Ryne has a cold, too, and was in a lot of pain this morning. I know he's worn out... I let him stay home today, but he knows he has to go tomorrow. No matter what... It sucks because he actually likes school. He loves P.E., but we've had to drop the class, since he can't participate, and will have missed the whole football season. It just sucks. Thankfully Ryno's a really smart kid (way smarter than I've ever been), and he's been able to stay afloat in school. Anyway, we have a follow up appointment in a month, unless there's no improvement in 2 weeks. So frustrating....so frustrating....
I didn't sleep the night before the appointment... I slept well last night (Ryne slept with me...that's when you know a 12 y/o is sick, when they want to sleep with their Mom). But after I got Cal off to school, made my smoothie, and cleaned up a bit, I sat down with a book (The Vegucation of Robin, so far a great book), and quickly fell asleep. It kicked my ass more than I thought it had I guess. I was able to walk Jesse 4 miles both days, though. I am proud of that! But really, through all of this, there's one thing I've kept in mind: it could always be worse. Ryne's blood cell counts have been good, which rules out the worst stuff. So, I've always been thankful that we're dealing with something that should be manageable. I've even been prefacing my prayers to God, with I know there are so many suffering, but I have to ask for relief for my child. Anyway, it was all reinforced when we were at the Children's Hospital. I saw a disfigured baby, babies wearing masks over their face, a boy about the same age with one of those contraptions on his head, kids in helmets, and a mother with her son in a wheelchair, but it was her other child that was getting the blood draw. So, I hope you never think that I don't know how lucky we are. I just want my boy to feel better. My stress level varies, and I'm proud of myself for dealing with it in a positive master most of the time. I've had my falling down moments, but I'm going to have those no matter what. Shit...am I still typing? Still feeling like I need to explain myself? What the fuck is wrong with me... Alright, I'm done! I'm going to try and enjoy The Biggest Loser. I hope you can, too.
Thanks for being there for me,
Jen
Yesterday was the big Dr.'s appointment for Ryne. I knew better than to walk out of there knowing what's going on with him, but of course I hoped for an instant diagnosis. No such luck, but it was great to be in front of a Dr., where this was his specialty. They ran a bunch more tests, but it will take up to 2 weeks to get some of the results. They also want to test his stool, but poor kid hasn't been able to go. Well, poor me, too. I really don't want to dig through his feces and bring it to the lab. Haha. A lot of the time, this ends up being Mono (which I know they've already tested for, but he's testing again). Other times, it's a stomach infection that gets out of control and can't seem to heal on it's own. They gave Ryne some things to help flush out his system and in the process hopefully flush out whatever it is in the process. They've also given him something for the pain. It's only supposed to take 30 mins to start helping, but it's taking a couple of hours and it's minimal and doesn't last long. Hopefully his body will start responding to it better soon. Oh, and he's also off sugar (including sugar substitues and fruit) for 2 weeks. Sugar is supposed to make stomach pain worse. The goal of course is to keep him in school. Ryne has a cold, too, and was in a lot of pain this morning. I know he's worn out... I let him stay home today, but he knows he has to go tomorrow. No matter what... It sucks because he actually likes school. He loves P.E., but we've had to drop the class, since he can't participate, and will have missed the whole football season. It just sucks. Thankfully Ryno's a really smart kid (way smarter than I've ever been), and he's been able to stay afloat in school. Anyway, we have a follow up appointment in a month, unless there's no improvement in 2 weeks. So frustrating....so frustrating....
I didn't sleep the night before the appointment... I slept well last night (Ryne slept with me...that's when you know a 12 y/o is sick, when they want to sleep with their Mom). But after I got Cal off to school, made my smoothie, and cleaned up a bit, I sat down with a book (The Vegucation of Robin, so far a great book), and quickly fell asleep. It kicked my ass more than I thought it had I guess. I was able to walk Jesse 4 miles both days, though. I am proud of that! But really, through all of this, there's one thing I've kept in mind: it could always be worse. Ryne's blood cell counts have been good, which rules out the worst stuff. So, I've always been thankful that we're dealing with something that should be manageable. I've even been prefacing my prayers to God, with I know there are so many suffering, but I have to ask for relief for my child. Anyway, it was all reinforced when we were at the Children's Hospital. I saw a disfigured baby, babies wearing masks over their face, a boy about the same age with one of those contraptions on his head, kids in helmets, and a mother with her son in a wheelchair, but it was her other child that was getting the blood draw. So, I hope you never think that I don't know how lucky we are. I just want my boy to feel better. My stress level varies, and I'm proud of myself for dealing with it in a positive master most of the time. I've had my falling down moments, but I'm going to have those no matter what. Shit...am I still typing? Still feeling like I need to explain myself? What the fuck is wrong with me... Alright, I'm done! I'm going to try and enjoy The Biggest Loser. I hope you can, too.
Thanks for being there for me,
Jen
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