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Diariesofafatass.com

Thank You

10/9/2011

2 Comments

 
Hello, there.  I wanted to let you know I appreciate your comments while I've been gone.  It's nice to know that you believe in me and support me, even when I can't seem to do it for myself.
I've been eating like crap lately, and drinking soda.  It's pathetic.  It's embarrassing.  I want to get back to it, and I honestly don't know why I keep shitting the bed.  I don't even really have the desire to do it now.  It's so stupid.  I don't feel well.  If I eat better and get to walking again, I'll feel better.  It's simple enough.  I don't know why I'm punishing myself like this.  It's almost like I'm afraid to do anything to make myself feel good.  I really need to have some "want" to turn this around.  I'm meeting friends in Vegas in less than 2 weeks.  I can already see the disappointment in their faces when they see me.  They don't get it....and I don't blame them.  Even when I see super obese people, I think Geez, have some pride.  How pathetic is it that I'm judgmental?  What a hypocrite.
Other than a the full out assault on my body that I've been waging, some things have been alright.  I read "The Hunger Games" the other day.  I usually only like love stories, but that book was amaze-balls!  I'd never even heard of it.  Amazon just recommended it, and it was $5, so I thought, what the hell?!  It's apparently part of a trilogy.  I'm going to pick up the other books for the vacation.  It'll be a good way to keep me distracted on the plane, b/c usually the alcohol and ipod aren't quite enough :) 
Brian and I were actually able to get out the other night.  We had a fantastic time.  As Brian was saying, "you're in training for Vegas."  And that was indeed true.  I got smoked....off of Coors Light.  For the first time, since I've been here, I actually had some really fun conversations w/ people.  They were younger kids (probably mid 20's), and we had some awesome laughs.  The next day Brian said, those girls all really liked you.  I told him, they were probably just surprised that the old lady was down for partying w/ them.  To which Brian replied, maybe they thought of you as a mother figure.  LMAO.
Well, today is football.  I'm even skipping church today.  Usually I love it, but today I have zero interest in going.  I'm sure I'll guilt myself all day.  Guess I should've gone.  Hope you guys are having a wonderful weekend!  The boys have tomorrow off for Columbus Day.  I don't think they've ever had that as a holiday before.
Take care.  Love you guys.  Thanks for always being there for me.  I really do appreciate it.
2 Comments
Lissy
10/10/2011 04:10:50 am

Do or do not....there is no try. - Yoda

Reply
Asha
10/11/2011 07:59:28 am

How could those girls NOT like you. I bet you had em just cracking up:-)

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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