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Diariesofafatass.com

Take 4 beers and call me in the morning.

12/7/2011

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Yesterday started really well.  I had a nice smoothie for breakfast, and then I had a slice of pb toast before I had to go to my Dr.'s appt.  I wanted to have something in my tummy, so I wouldn't be tempted into eating fast food while I was "in town."  The appt. was a 45 mins drive away, and then I had to wait for the head Dr. for 2 hours.  After I finally got in, I couldn't be pissed, since apparently he was tied up working with shooting victims.  Can't bitch about that.  That would obviously come first.  Anywhoo...it was much different than any other therapy I've been involved in.  He asked a lot of questions and did a lot of writing.  I only caught a hint of a reaction once or twice.  So, after we were finally done, I thought, you know, I think I'm okay, I don't need any new meds.  I mean, I hadn't even talked about some of the most painful things of my life.  So, I was quite surprised to hear the level of treatment that he thought I needed.  As he put it, "you can't function this way."  Ho-ly shi-it!  So, he's adjusted my meds in a big way, and added anti-anxiety pills.  The pharmacy couldn't read his writing on the one, but I started the anxiety meds today.  The good news is, they seem to make a difference.  The bad news, they've put me to sleep both times I've taken them.  I'm supposed to take them 4 times a day.  I hope I get used to them soon! 

After getting kind of caught off guard by the results of the appointment, my anxiety was at its finest.  Through the roof.  I immediately went and burried myself in a fish sandwich, fries, and Pepsi.  Until recently, I've never been a fast eater.  In fact, I'm almost always the last one done.  When I'm eating out of anxiety, it's like a race to finish it.  I have to feel better, if I eat faster, I feel like I will.  Of course I don't, but it's just kinda what goes through my mind.

I then went to get my iPhone/Razr situation fixed.  I didn't like the iPhone, so I returned it on Thursday to the store, only to still have it sitting on their counter, blah, blah, blah....  Since Thurs., I've made 5 trips and 5 unanswered calls.  We finally got it settled (had to go through Verizon cust service), and I had to go in to swipe my card to get my refund.  Only when I went in, my $35 restock fee had changed to $100, and I was not having it....I was pissed and walked out.  Totally ridiculous.  Finally, the gal I bought the phone from (the mgr) was back in the store today, and made it kind of right.  I now have the Razr.  I'm super stoked to use it, but apparently there's a big 4G outage in our area...So, I've yet to finish setting it up.  So, if you've tried to text or call me today, I haven't gotten it.  My service is in limbo land.

So, after the anxiety filled day I had, I rushed home to calm myself down w/ a beer.  I then talked on the phone to a friend for a bit.  After everyone went to bed, I turned on the X-Mas music and started wrapping presents.  Now, under normal circumstances, I can't wrap worth a shit.  My mom always makes fun of me for it.  So, after 4 beers on a totally empty stomach (and it went right to my head), I finished w/ the days wrapping.  If you get something from me that looks kinda crappy, I was sober.  If you see something and go, WTF?  You know that was after the 4 beers.  But I'll tell you what.  It was a happy 4 beers, and it took my anxiety away for the night.  Also, I must say that I'm quite proud of my gift buying this year.  I always put way too much thought into each purchase and go back and forth if it's the right thing, or if I should get more, etc.  This year, I kept it simple but sweet.  I feel good about it.

Here's hoping my new head meds are here tomorrow.  Can't wait to see if they work.

Have a great night.

~Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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