So, it's a quiet Sunday here. Everyone is sleeping in, but I've been up for a couple of hours. I actually got some real sleep yesterday. It was so nice/needed. I love this quiet time. I'm not alone, so no fear of my anxieties creeping up on me, and knowing that those I love the most are sleeping peacefully and safely in our home. Oh yeah, and there's that I get to be alone. hahaha. I made myself a quiet breakfast. So, it did not include the smoothie I wanted to make :) Got caught up on some email and Words With Friends. And now a friend of mine is texting me about getting together for some kayaking tomorrow. These times are like the best for me... I'm so feeling it that I thought I should grab a sunrise picture off of my computer and put it on here. Since this is a new laptop, I don't have anything but pics from my phone loaded on here, though. It was funny scrolling through those pictures....of course lots of all three of my boys, but also lots of beer pics (I love the look of a beer that's so cold you can see it through the photo, along with the perfect amount of foam), and many pictures of me in compromising positions with cardboard cutouts of nearly any kind. I'm quite talented by way of faking being a responsible adult, while still being a completely immature kid under all of this....adultness. Shoot....my battery is going to die soon, so I may have to post this later. Anyway, as proud as I am of the pics of my giving Elvis a b.j. in Vegas, I thought maybe it's too early in the morning to post such a pic (when it's a non-hangover day).
Yesterday ended up being a very nice day. Ryne had a blast in his football game. He doesn't get to play a ton, but he still loves it. His team is very good, and won 18-0. Later that night, the parents of one of the boys invited everyone over for a bon fire. The boys had so much fun. Even Cal got in the mix, with a little coaxing. It was so great to see them running around and being kids. You know, real kids. Not kids that want to play on their phone, computer, or X-
Box. The kind of kids we were. And although my memory of my childhood is really, really poor. When I think of it, I think of climbing trees, playing baseball, catching salamanders, riding my bike absolutely everywhere, playing in the woods, and all of the things I wish my boys would love as much as I did. Growing up in AK really was a great place to experience as a kid. I often wish I could give the same gift to my kids.
The family finally got up, so I made them some breakfast burritos. We all like them. I don't know why I've never made them for them before, though. Amy made them last weekend, and I thought I have to do that for the boys. There are few foods that Cal really likes. He absolutely loved them. He went on and on, which just warmed my heart. The kid is soooo thin. Looks like I'll be making these all the time now. Ryne enjoyed it. Brian didn't say anything. I asked him if he liked them, and he said, "I guess they were alright." That's a good, honest answer, but as a wife what we'd really love to hear is something along the lines of, yes, it was good, but next time I'll try more salsa or something, thank you. It's funny how we get into these habits of not being the kindest to our sig others. If a waitress asked them same question, he'd answer, it was great, thank you. Not that I want snow blown up my ass, but I wish we weren't so comfortable that we forget how to be kind at all times. It's one of the things I've been working on.
So, it's almost 9. The next step in the day is to make some tomato bisque (see recipe), and then juice later. But I plan on going on a late morning walk. I haven't been walking lately, and I feel it in my body and soul. So, that will be another thing I treat myself to today. I'm easing myself into Tuesday....where I will tackle Eat to Live again. It works. It's a way of life. I'm working on loving myself enough to let it work for me. To let it save me from this heart attack, that I know is just around the corner.... Please find something for yourself today that brings you the peace, you desire as well.
Lyrics to Sunday Morning Coming Down (one of my all time fave songs)
Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my
cleanest dirty shirt.
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.
I'd smoked my mind the night
With cigarettes and songs I'd been picking.
But I lit my first
and watched a small kid
Playing with a can that he was kicking.
walked across the street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone frying
And Lord, it took me back to something that I'd lost
somehow along the way.
On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short a' dying
That's half as
lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning
In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl
that he was swinging.
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
to the songs they were singing.
Then I headed down the street,
somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringing,
And it echoed through the
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday.
On a Sunday
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing
short a' dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city
And Sunday morning coming down.