The water aerobics class I'm taking meets twice a week. We just finished Week 2 last night. I make myself go, all the while kicking and screaming, because I just want to stay home. The class doesn't start until 7:15, so by the time I get done with work, the drive, run errands, make dinner, etc., I just want to relax. A funny thing happens, though once the class starts-I fucking love it. I love every minute of it. I feel alive even if the day feels it has taken the life out of me. If you know me at all, you know I'm a competitive person. No, not the kind of healthy competitive spirit-the embarrassing kind. I like that I have it to a certain extent, but I must admit, it's always been too much. I'm really not sure how Brian decided to marry me after playing racquetball with me our first year together. I broke his $300 racquet by slamming it against the wall after I missed a point. He walked off the court. Yeah, that's me. I must confess this class is different, though. Something inside of me has changed. Maybe I was forced to change, given I'm certainly no longer the athlete I was for a brief window of time. I'm not sure...maybe I finally grew up. When I'm in the class, I pay attention to nobody. I have no idea how quickly anyone is doing anything or if they are using heavier weights than me. I just know, I push myself as much as I can. Okay...full disclosure...this means going from the 4 lb weights I started with the first week, to five pound weights the second week. It's nothing to brag about, but I feel it. My shoulders are sore just thinking about it. We run in place for two minutes and I nearly shut my eyes and go as hard as I can. My only competition is me. I want to do the best I can, the best my body will allow me to do. Everything about this class, is me going out of my comfort zone, but I couldn't have done anything better for myself. If you're considering putting yourself out there, hesitate no more. You will thank yourself.
The weigh-in was good this week. I lost 2 1/2 pounds. My stomach is jacked up, so I haven't been as hungry as I normally am, but I still made good choices. I've wanted a burger. I've wanted the fresh cookies sitting on my counter. I've wanted pizza. Still, I know every choice I make matters. I can do those things in moderation, but I've chosen to give a lot of thought to everything I've put in my body. The gal I weigh in with couldn't be more complimentary. She told me this week, that she tells other clients about me. That's really cool to hear. It's hard to believe that about myself, but I'm working on that. I would love to lead by example, because this is no bullshit...some of you have been with me for years on this....if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. I can't stress this enough. I don't know why it really stuck this time. I think I just got sick of feeling sick....my weight was affecting everything. I've said this before: I wasn't really ready to start. My head wasn't in that place, but I did it anyway. I think of the eating changes I make the first few weeks and know the food choices weren't really all that great, but they were better than what I was doing before. It just kept getting better until I got to a place that I feel pretty good about most of my days. If you're thinking about making changes...just do it. You really have nothing to lose (except the weight ;)
Okay, back to my stomach. I finally figured out that it's not anxiety that I've been feeling. Anxiety is something that doesn't last long for me, and this stomach thing has been constant. I got measured yesterday and my stomach hadn't gone down at all, which Jessica couldn't believe, given my weight loss (we hadn't measured in months). Where she measure the stomach is rock hard (upper stomach-where I'm having the issue). It's sticking out, and it was finally the thing (and my friend) that got me to realize this is a real, physical thing, not just a manifestation of pain. I'm really glad I went to the Dr this morning, because today has been the worst day, yet, for my stomach. The pain was excruciating this morning when I took my vitamins. I went to the appointment thinking it was an ulcer, but Dr wasn't really sure-could be a few things. Hopefully tomorrow he'll have the results of my lab work, and we can get to work on making it better. He did give me a prescription to help with the tummy until we know exactly what we're dealing with. Here's hoping tomorrow is the day it starts to get better!
I rec'd the nicest text today. My Auntie had the sweetest thing to say and followed it up with something even sweeter. She actually made me cry. It's amazing how much a difference something like that can make in your day. I've been thinking about that saying today, "In a world where you can be anything, be kind." Let's be those people. It costs you nothing.
I leave this blog today feeling especially grateful for my family, a best friend who forces me to come out of my hiding place, even when it's the last thing I want to do, and for Ed Sheeran. I mean, Ed...he makes life worth living. Here's his latest song, and it's just plain fun. The video is awesome, too. Enjoy #iloveyouedsheeran
Have a wonderful night.
~Jen
The weigh-in was good this week. I lost 2 1/2 pounds. My stomach is jacked up, so I haven't been as hungry as I normally am, but I still made good choices. I've wanted a burger. I've wanted the fresh cookies sitting on my counter. I've wanted pizza. Still, I know every choice I make matters. I can do those things in moderation, but I've chosen to give a lot of thought to everything I've put in my body. The gal I weigh in with couldn't be more complimentary. She told me this week, that she tells other clients about me. That's really cool to hear. It's hard to believe that about myself, but I'm working on that. I would love to lead by example, because this is no bullshit...some of you have been with me for years on this....if I can do it, ANYONE can do it. I can't stress this enough. I don't know why it really stuck this time. I think I just got sick of feeling sick....my weight was affecting everything. I've said this before: I wasn't really ready to start. My head wasn't in that place, but I did it anyway. I think of the eating changes I make the first few weeks and know the food choices weren't really all that great, but they were better than what I was doing before. It just kept getting better until I got to a place that I feel pretty good about most of my days. If you're thinking about making changes...just do it. You really have nothing to lose (except the weight ;)
Okay, back to my stomach. I finally figured out that it's not anxiety that I've been feeling. Anxiety is something that doesn't last long for me, and this stomach thing has been constant. I got measured yesterday and my stomach hadn't gone down at all, which Jessica couldn't believe, given my weight loss (we hadn't measured in months). Where she measure the stomach is rock hard (upper stomach-where I'm having the issue). It's sticking out, and it was finally the thing (and my friend) that got me to realize this is a real, physical thing, not just a manifestation of pain. I'm really glad I went to the Dr this morning, because today has been the worst day, yet, for my stomach. The pain was excruciating this morning when I took my vitamins. I went to the appointment thinking it was an ulcer, but Dr wasn't really sure-could be a few things. Hopefully tomorrow he'll have the results of my lab work, and we can get to work on making it better. He did give me a prescription to help with the tummy until we know exactly what we're dealing with. Here's hoping tomorrow is the day it starts to get better!
I rec'd the nicest text today. My Auntie had the sweetest thing to say and followed it up with something even sweeter. She actually made me cry. It's amazing how much a difference something like that can make in your day. I've been thinking about that saying today, "In a world where you can be anything, be kind." Let's be those people. It costs you nothing.
I leave this blog today feeling especially grateful for my family, a best friend who forces me to come out of my hiding place, even when it's the last thing I want to do, and for Ed Sheeran. I mean, Ed...he makes life worth living. Here's his latest song, and it's just plain fun. The video is awesome, too. Enjoy #iloveyouedsheeran
Have a wonderful night.
~Jen
RSS Feed