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Diariesofafatass.com

Seeing the inside of a gym.

12/14/2016

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Happy Sunday from the frozen tundra. The weather out here is so miserable. I remember watching the movie "Fargo," and wondering why anyone would live like that. And here we are. It was -1 when Brian was shoveling the driveway this morning. On the plus side, there's nothing hotter than a guy doing that (well, except cleaning or cooking). The biggest downfall of the weather has been for my poor dog. She had finally just gotten into shape and was living for hiking or walks, and then she's stuck inside. She doesn't understand that there's snow and ice everywhere. There is nowhere to walk. Thankfully her bff has come by and spent the day a couple of times this week. Those two go nuts, and they are both able to burn off that energy. I also really miss walking and hiking. My friend and I decided yesterday that maybe we'll try snowshooing (btw- spellcheck on this site isn't working anymore-which is probably obvious).

Yesterday was kinda big, in that I went to the gym. I just used the treadmill, but I felt good about getting past the anxiety of being in a room with fit people, when I'm like I am. I pushed myself more than I thought I would, but I can push more. I'll go again today. It felt great to get my steps in when the weather was nuts. 

This week was also really big, in that I actually got out there and did things with people. You know, like a real person does. I had lunch with a couple of friends I hadn't seen in a while and dinner and drinks with another friend I hadn't spent time with in a bit. Friday night an old coworker came out and had wine with D & I, and that was really fun, too. I'm going to continue to work on getting out of this shell I've put myself in. It certainly has paid off this week.

I've kept keeping on with my food choices. Last weekend Brian and I went out for a holiday dinner with our good friends. I ate more than I normally do, that's for sure. We ordered this multi-course meal, but I was also careful about portions. The meal also came with a bottle of Merlot. I was the only wine drinker at the table...and well, you know, I took care of business. I hadn't drank that much in a while, but we all had a good time. I worked really hard over the next few days to make up for the sins of the weekend. I was happy with a 2 pound weight loss at my weigh-in. It was nice to not have the week be all or nothing, which has historically been my issue. I've got a nice balance going, I think. I was also really nervous about the weigh-in, as I was coming off such a great couple of weeks. I knew I couldn't keep that up forever. I'll take it when it happens, but losing 6 1/2 pounds in two weeks is not really a practical expectation. 

I still feel good about the journey. I get overwhelmed at times and am really hard on myself, but those times are still outweighed by positive thoughts and the positive people around me. My 22 y/o friend at work, makes it a point to say something encouraging to me every day. I think that's just the sweetest thing. My Mom will be coming out here on the 26th. I haven't seen her since April, and the boys haven't seen her in 2 1/2 years or so. I'm really looking forward to seeing her. The part of me that's hard on myself is still there, though. I wish the weight loss was more before seeing her. I wish I still wasn't fat...that she would see a whole different person. That's not going to happen in a week, though, and I try to work through it every day. I know she loves me no matter my weight. The same goes with all of the close people in my life. Still, I have my issues. I'm a work in progress, every minute of every day.

I'm hoping this weekend finds you all well and warm. Hopefully you've gotten your shopping down, and you're able to relax with the ones you love. 

I heard this song when I was on the treadmill yesterday, and I hadn't heard it in forever. It's one of my all-time faves. How can you not love, Is it too much to ask that I want a full house and a rock-'n-'roll band, pens that won't run out of ink, and cool quiet, and time to think? Enjoy and happy Sunday.

Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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