
Brian took Ryne to the CWU spring scrimmage yesterday, only to be called in to work as soon as they sat down. The both of them were really bummed. I wanted the boys to get out of the house, so I drug them along with me grocery shopping. I also like them to have a hand in picking out foods, especially the healthy stuff. I think they're more inclined to eat it, if they chose it. That, and it's a reason for me to make them eat it, and they fight me less :) Anyway, back to wanting the boys to get out of the house. Geez, those kids....I don't understand why they don't play in the back yard, etc. I'm always trying to get them out there. It's just so different from how I grew up. I remember you couldn't keep me inside. I would leave the house first thing in the morning and many times not come home until late. Now, I've become a homebody... I miss that person that always wanted to be outside. I'm getting closer to her, though. I'm going on a nice walk by the river today. Brian took Jesse out for a walk this morning, so I'll even leave her behind. It'll just be me, myself, and I. I'm looking forward to it.... I have to say that my head is in a really good space right now. I feel it's time to get started on this weight loss journey. I'm ready to feel even better about myself. Not too long ago, one of my good friends told me they wished they had my "passion." I laughed it off, because I feel like I haven't had real passion in quite some time. But I do miss that passion for life that I'm capable of having. I love the feeling of living in the moment. I don't do that enough now, and I hadn't been doing it for quite a while. A person doesn't get to be this weight without losing their zest for life. So, today, I'll take special note to smell the smell of walking through the woods. I'll take special note to see what the birds are doing. I'll imagine the things that make me happiest, like going to a concert, or having one of those moments where you laugh so hard you have to do a kegel exercise, which may or may not work. I'm not going to waste my energy being angry at myself for missing out on those things for so long, but I need to remember what that existence was like...I need to remember to keep going forward. I hope you all are able to do the same.
Oh, I absolutely love the lyrics to this song. I know that I've spent so much time trying to fit into this box that society puts on us, that I haven't allowed myself to feel good about being who I am. I'm finally starting to embrace the fact that I might be even more different than I've often thought. Here's to having our own original thoughts and visions of what's cool and what mean happiness for us.
Much Love,
Jen
"Follow Your Arrow"
If you save yourself for marriage
You're a bore
If you don't save yourself for marriage
You're a horrible person
If you won't have a drink
Then you're a prude
But they'll call you a drunk
As soon as you down the first one
If you can't lose the weight
Then you're just fat
But if you lose too much
Then you're on crack
You're damned if you do
And you're damned if you don't
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want
So
Make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's something you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don't
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points
If you don't go to church
You'll go to hell
If you're the first one
On the front row
You're self-righteous
Son of a-
Can't win for losing
You'll just disappoint 'em
Just 'cause you can't beat 'em
Don't mean you should join 'em
So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's something you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don't
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points
Say what you think
Love who you love
'Cause you just get
So many trips 'round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once
So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's what you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, I would
And follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points