I can finally do this from work. It makes this so much easier, to do bits and pieces as I have time during the day.
Admittedly, yesterday was a tad overwhelming and it spilled over
into this morning (that’s what happens when you sleep from 12-3:45, I
guess). My boss and I have a really good relationship and are able to talk about most things. She asked about the house hunting, and it all just kind of poured out of me. I also talked about the Jenny interview, and how it brought so many of the feelings that I have at most times just below the surface with Cal.
This is not something I talk about much, but I guess I needed to get it
off my chest. Anyway, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Today will not be for bitching and whining, but for focusing on all of the really fantastic things in my life. Although the living situation is sketchy, at the moment, at least we are all together. Brian keeps bringing up that we can move back to Vancouver (still have the house there), but that would require him working 2 hours away from home. He’d have to stay with a friend/co-worker out there during the week (at least it’s a 4 day work week). But I don’t think that really solves the biggest issue. He needs and wants to be with us, so we would inevitably end up moving out that way (in OR, which would require us to live in the Dalles, which is still an hour from his worksite).
While it’s tempting, it doesn’t fix the long term issue. We don’t want to live out there in the middle of nowhere with him requiring such a long commute. So,
I’m trying to put that option out of my mind and focus on the positive of being
out here. We are all together. We both have jobs. And this move, would take the boys to a great school. For now, I need to embrace all of these things, and try to let go of the stress. It’s eating me alive. “My life is brilliant,” and I’ll do my best to remember that all day today, and each and every day.
I’ll also treat today as my personal playground (until I have therapy after work, UGH!). Today will be filled w/ f/m/k, would you rather, and anything else that
distracts me from all things serious and real.
Now, that I can do this during the day, I’ll try to update my
food log, etc. as the day goes on.
6:30 Chocolate Smoothie (see
Packet of Maple and Brown sugar oatmeal, soda water
30 min walk at 6 this morning.
Felt freaking awesome!
P.S. in keeping with having a fun day. Today’s song is She Bop, by Cyndi Lauper. I remember it from the ‘80s, but back then I had no idea what it was about. Now, that I know, I love, love, love this song. I only wished I’d
started bopping before I was approaching my 30’s. Holy hell, I was so uptight!
Anyway, as the song goes, I bop, you bop, and she bops, etc. Great, great song.
see them every night in tight blue jeans -
In the pages of a blue boy
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up - good
Oop - she bop
Do I wanna
go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop - or
I'll go blind
Oop - she bop - she
I bop--you bop--a--they bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--she
I hope He will understand
She bop--he bop--a--we bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop,
Hey, hey -
they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can't stop messin' with the
No, I won't worry, and I won't fret
Ain't no law against it
Oop - she bop - she bop
She bop -
he bop - we bop...