Life lately has been really centered around how Ryne is feeling, He's had a couple of ups but mostly downs. On Sunday afternoon, he had a couple of hours where his stomach wasn't bothering him as bad, and he was joking around like the old Ryne. It was then that I realized just how much his illness has taken from him. He really hasn't been himself. It's been so frustrating to see him sick, and not be able to make it better. On Sat, he started a prescription (4 times a day...,) that's designed to help with an ulcer or gastritis. He takes that along with Prilosec. Yesterday he had image scans of his stomach, and he was found to have gastritis (inflation of the stomach). He seems to be feeling a little bit better today and his coloring seems a little better as well. Hopefully he's on the road to recovery. It's also the first full day that he's been in school in over a week, I think. The next steps will depend on how he's doing next week. I know we are to need to find out how he got this. The normal causes are adult related, and it unusual to find this in kids. Fingers crossed for a good week! Also, thanks to all of you who have called or text to check on him. It truly means a lot!
The stress of all of this has really been crazy, hard. At times I get so stressed my stomach hurts and other times I feel like I'm going to puke. With all that's going on, I've made some good decisions and some poor decisions. I'll say that I've definitely made more smart choices in the past week, though. Yesterday I ran into the grocery store to pick up some crackers for Ryne to keep at school. This was just after the scan and learning of the gastritis. Right in the front of the store was this huge table of day old cakes, cookies, and cupcakes. OMG....how did I want some... I picked through them, and then talked myself out of it. I ran and got the crackers only to find myself back at that table. I had a package of cupcakes in my hand, thinking if I only have one, that won't be so bad. But I knew with my stress level, and food addiction, there was no way I was only eating one.... So, I put it back. Yes, I made a conscious choice about what I was and wasn't going to eat. That's what I've been doing the past 3 weeks. That thought process has been missing a very, very long time. I have a long way to go in order to undo what I've done to myself mentally and physically. So, along those lines....I had a weigh in on Monday. I gained 12 oz. Yes, I GAINED weight. I did all of that walking, and I still gained weight. I'm sure being on my period wasn't a huge help, but really it came down to Saturday night. My very close friend Misty came to town to visit me (it was so very nice to see her)!. We went out to dinner (after we'd had 3 microbrews), and along with beers I had a veggie burger w/ cheese and fries w/ ranch... We were definitely feeling no pain by the time we left that bar. Brian was our on-call designated driver, and we then went what ended up being 2 more places. We drank beers, one shot, and a mixed drink. We drank an absurd amount... I can't even imagine all of the calories that went into my body. Then, to top it all off, there was the midnight food run on the way home. I don't even want to tell you what I ate. It's purely shameful.... That's not all that went into my gain for the week. On Sunday, I was pretty much dead. I hardly moved all day. I think I only got 1500 steps in for the day. So, pretty much nothing. If I would've gotten my steps in, I could have at least avoided the gain, but I didn't.
There have been many, many, many times in my life where a weigh in like that would destroy me. But I own that one. And you know what's weird? I think I'm only 7 lbs down, but I feel like it's so much more. I feel good (aside from the stress). I mean it. I really feel good. So, I'm hoping for a better week this time around. I've made some soups and tomorrow will make some juice. I've been good about having my smoothies every morning (except Sun...), too. So, I'll continue to fight the good fight...for myself. That's how I feel: like I'm fighting to be myself again. Thanks so much for being here with me. I look at the numbers sometimes, and I'm just blown away. Very cool.
Take care,
Jen
The stress of all of this has really been crazy, hard. At times I get so stressed my stomach hurts and other times I feel like I'm going to puke. With all that's going on, I've made some good decisions and some poor decisions. I'll say that I've definitely made more smart choices in the past week, though. Yesterday I ran into the grocery store to pick up some crackers for Ryne to keep at school. This was just after the scan and learning of the gastritis. Right in the front of the store was this huge table of day old cakes, cookies, and cupcakes. OMG....how did I want some... I picked through them, and then talked myself out of it. I ran and got the crackers only to find myself back at that table. I had a package of cupcakes in my hand, thinking if I only have one, that won't be so bad. But I knew with my stress level, and food addiction, there was no way I was only eating one.... So, I put it back. Yes, I made a conscious choice about what I was and wasn't going to eat. That's what I've been doing the past 3 weeks. That thought process has been missing a very, very long time. I have a long way to go in order to undo what I've done to myself mentally and physically. So, along those lines....I had a weigh in on Monday. I gained 12 oz. Yes, I GAINED weight. I did all of that walking, and I still gained weight. I'm sure being on my period wasn't a huge help, but really it came down to Saturday night. My very close friend Misty came to town to visit me (it was so very nice to see her)!. We went out to dinner (after we'd had 3 microbrews), and along with beers I had a veggie burger w/ cheese and fries w/ ranch... We were definitely feeling no pain by the time we left that bar. Brian was our on-call designated driver, and we then went what ended up being 2 more places. We drank beers, one shot, and a mixed drink. We drank an absurd amount... I can't even imagine all of the calories that went into my body. Then, to top it all off, there was the midnight food run on the way home. I don't even want to tell you what I ate. It's purely shameful.... That's not all that went into my gain for the week. On Sunday, I was pretty much dead. I hardly moved all day. I think I only got 1500 steps in for the day. So, pretty much nothing. If I would've gotten my steps in, I could have at least avoided the gain, but I didn't.
There have been many, many, many times in my life where a weigh in like that would destroy me. But I own that one. And you know what's weird? I think I'm only 7 lbs down, but I feel like it's so much more. I feel good (aside from the stress). I mean it. I really feel good. So, I'm hoping for a better week this time around. I've made some soups and tomorrow will make some juice. I've been good about having my smoothies every morning (except Sun...), too. So, I'll continue to fight the good fight...for myself. That's how I feel: like I'm fighting to be myself again. Thanks so much for being here with me. I look at the numbers sometimes, and I'm just blown away. Very cool.
Take care,
Jen
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