Sleep has not been my friend this past week. PMS is killing me.... I had all the signs of starting yesterday, and I even padded up... But NOOOOO..it's not here. I'm sure it will find the worst time to start. Maybe at Cal's class Christmas party today. Maybe while hanging out with HP tonight. I never know how it will come on, so I'll be playing defense on this thing all day.
I should be wrapping the last of the presents...I should be cleaning house... But I'm being lazy and paying the price of waking up at 3. I did get 1/2 hour sleep around 6:35 or so. That was a huge help. I am tired, though. Yesterday was a crazy, busy day. The calendars ended up arriving yesterday afternoon, so I had to make a super quick trip to Yakima to pick them up. Oh, and I was parked next to a car that was literally riddled with bullet holes... Cray, Cray. I ran in to find the largest line ever at the photo dept. I didn't have time to pick anything else up at Costco. Oh, the horror :) Costco really is my favorite store. Thankfully Brian got off a little earlier than expected and was able to pick Cal up from swimming. I ran home to wrap the calendars and a couple other little things before getting to the post office 5 minutes before they closed. Phew. Speaking of the post office...They now give you tracking numbers for priority mail. Cool, right? Well, I'd sent three packages on Mon. for delivery yesterday. I was curious if they all made it. 2 didn't show leaving Yakima, and one shows in Kent. WTF?! So, I don't know if they just aren't scanning and the stuff was delivered, or if the stuff is lost. I'm going to try not to panic about it today...
In my rush before getting to the post office yesterday, I checked the mail before taking off. There was a card there...and when who I saw who it was from my heart literally dropped. Total disbelief. It was from my Dad. I haven't heard from him in nearly 8 years. One sister has been in touch with him for a while, and the other had a tiny bit of contact a few months ago. It didn't go well. It's a whole thing...but I don't want to get into it. But it all left me hurt...very, very hurt. So, imagine my surprise when I saw the card. The card simply said: Love, Dad. And gave each member of my family very generous gift cards. The address shows him living in AR now. The last I knew he was in WY. Just typing this out (which is my way of processing this) is literally making my heart hurt. The whole thing is complicated, but I would never turn my back on someone trying to make an effort. I do appreciate that he was thinking of us. I just have to figure out my next move.... I thought about sending him my copy of the family calendar, but this is the first year I didn't include his birthday. I'm thinking I'll get some photos of the boys and send them to him. Maybe Nealy and I can have our kids do a quick "thank you" video to put on Facebook or something.... I spoke to Nealy for a quick bit last night, but I know we have a lot of talking to do about it. I won't speak for Nealy, but I do love him. I always have. It's all just heartbreaking to me. Okay, done talking about this. Maybe my chest will ease up now.
Holy shit and caboodle. What in the hell is all of this uproar over the Phil Robertson comment? I have to admit: a friend turned me on to Duck Dynasty. I do enjoy it. I love their family values. However, I certainly don't agree with his stance on homosexuality. Not one bit. But for fuck's sake.... I don't agree with A&E suspending him. They know who these guys are. I mean, they are as redneck as it gets... A lot of people have the same point of view as Phil. But really, I haven't given much thought to any of this. I'll continue to watch the show, but I might have to stop getting on Facebook. How in the hell did this turn into a Liberal/Right Wing thing? People putting up pictures of Miley, half naked and sticking her tongue out, saying Liberals support that, but not this picture of Phil Robertson. Are you people fucking nuts? Um, how does me being a Liberal make me support Miley Cyrus? There are so many closed minded comments on there, it just makes me sick. Really fucking sick... I'm serious. I think I need to take a break from Facebook. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
I have a few friends from Vancouver that are close friends with this gal that has been battling cancer. The gal passed away yesterday. It was so heartbreaking to see the devastation that these friends are going through. It hurts my heart to know that they will always have this pain. I still carry pain from a friend I lost nearly 12 years ago. For a couple of years, I would tear up just driving in the car thinking of him. We've all been there. We all know that raw pain. It made me think a lot of my closest friends. I can't imagine seeing them go through something like that. I can't imagine losing them. I'm stating the obvious here: cancer really fucking sucks. It sucks big dick. I don't understand anything that causes pain and suffering. Every single day I pray for an end to pain and suffering, as I'm sure so many of us do. I pray God will grant our prayers one of these days and every single person on this earth can be blessed with a long, happy, healthy life.
Okay...this is for real. I'm going to start getting stuff done. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. If you're traveling: safe travels!
Jen
Okay, I was done with this, but I just turned on Pandora, and "I Can't Make You Love Me" is on. This song gets me every fucking time.
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
I can't make you love me if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me until then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
When I lay down, I'll feel the power
But you won't, I can't make you love me if you don't
Read more: Bonnie Raitt - I Can't Make You Love Me Lyrics | MetroLyrics
I should be wrapping the last of the presents...I should be cleaning house... But I'm being lazy and paying the price of waking up at 3. I did get 1/2 hour sleep around 6:35 or so. That was a huge help. I am tired, though. Yesterday was a crazy, busy day. The calendars ended up arriving yesterday afternoon, so I had to make a super quick trip to Yakima to pick them up. Oh, and I was parked next to a car that was literally riddled with bullet holes... Cray, Cray. I ran in to find the largest line ever at the photo dept. I didn't have time to pick anything else up at Costco. Oh, the horror :) Costco really is my favorite store. Thankfully Brian got off a little earlier than expected and was able to pick Cal up from swimming. I ran home to wrap the calendars and a couple other little things before getting to the post office 5 minutes before they closed. Phew. Speaking of the post office...They now give you tracking numbers for priority mail. Cool, right? Well, I'd sent three packages on Mon. for delivery yesterday. I was curious if they all made it. 2 didn't show leaving Yakima, and one shows in Kent. WTF?! So, I don't know if they just aren't scanning and the stuff was delivered, or if the stuff is lost. I'm going to try not to panic about it today...
In my rush before getting to the post office yesterday, I checked the mail before taking off. There was a card there...and when who I saw who it was from my heart literally dropped. Total disbelief. It was from my Dad. I haven't heard from him in nearly 8 years. One sister has been in touch with him for a while, and the other had a tiny bit of contact a few months ago. It didn't go well. It's a whole thing...but I don't want to get into it. But it all left me hurt...very, very hurt. So, imagine my surprise when I saw the card. The card simply said: Love, Dad. And gave each member of my family very generous gift cards. The address shows him living in AR now. The last I knew he was in WY. Just typing this out (which is my way of processing this) is literally making my heart hurt. The whole thing is complicated, but I would never turn my back on someone trying to make an effort. I do appreciate that he was thinking of us. I just have to figure out my next move.... I thought about sending him my copy of the family calendar, but this is the first year I didn't include his birthday. I'm thinking I'll get some photos of the boys and send them to him. Maybe Nealy and I can have our kids do a quick "thank you" video to put on Facebook or something.... I spoke to Nealy for a quick bit last night, but I know we have a lot of talking to do about it. I won't speak for Nealy, but I do love him. I always have. It's all just heartbreaking to me. Okay, done talking about this. Maybe my chest will ease up now.
Holy shit and caboodle. What in the hell is all of this uproar over the Phil Robertson comment? I have to admit: a friend turned me on to Duck Dynasty. I do enjoy it. I love their family values. However, I certainly don't agree with his stance on homosexuality. Not one bit. But for fuck's sake.... I don't agree with A&E suspending him. They know who these guys are. I mean, they are as redneck as it gets... A lot of people have the same point of view as Phil. But really, I haven't given much thought to any of this. I'll continue to watch the show, but I might have to stop getting on Facebook. How in the hell did this turn into a Liberal/Right Wing thing? People putting up pictures of Miley, half naked and sticking her tongue out, saying Liberals support that, but not this picture of Phil Robertson. Are you people fucking nuts? Um, how does me being a Liberal make me support Miley Cyrus? There are so many closed minded comments on there, it just makes me sick. Really fucking sick... I'm serious. I think I need to take a break from Facebook. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
I have a few friends from Vancouver that are close friends with this gal that has been battling cancer. The gal passed away yesterday. It was so heartbreaking to see the devastation that these friends are going through. It hurts my heart to know that they will always have this pain. I still carry pain from a friend I lost nearly 12 years ago. For a couple of years, I would tear up just driving in the car thinking of him. We've all been there. We all know that raw pain. It made me think a lot of my closest friends. I can't imagine seeing them go through something like that. I can't imagine losing them. I'm stating the obvious here: cancer really fucking sucks. It sucks big dick. I don't understand anything that causes pain and suffering. Every single day I pray for an end to pain and suffering, as I'm sure so many of us do. I pray God will grant our prayers one of these days and every single person on this earth can be blessed with a long, happy, healthy life.
Okay...this is for real. I'm going to start getting stuff done. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. If you're traveling: safe travels!
Jen
Okay, I was done with this, but I just turned on Pandora, and "I Can't Make You Love Me" is on. This song gets me every fucking time.
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and feel the power
But you won't, no, you won't
I can't make you love me if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me until then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
When I lay down, I'll feel the power
But you won't, I can't make you love me if you don't
Read more: Bonnie Raitt - I Can't Make You Love Me Lyrics | MetroLyrics
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