Anxiety crept up on me again last night, but I'm really thankful that I was able to make it through without any self destructive behaviors :) Baby steps, right?!
I have the wildest, most vivid dreams. I guess it makes sense since my mind never turns off during the day, either. My mind can take me to places, where I go, where in the fuck did that come from? Anyway, I have this reccuring dream that Natalie Maines and I are either friends, bff's, or I'm the 4th member of the Dixie Chicks. Am I little obsessed? You got it. I love them. They are amazingly brilliant. They write songs that are so spot on, that it just leaves me wondering how somebody can put those things into words like that. So, once again, I had a DCX, Natalie Maines based dream. In this dream, I won some contest to get to meet the DCX. As it happened to be, lots of my friends won the same contest. There were friends from all over. There were some weird friend dynamics going on, not everyone getting along, etc, but that was just kind of in the background. Anyway, we got to spend the day w/ Natalie. In a word, she was a cunt. (Yes, I said the "C" word. I've always hated that word w/ a passion. I would cringe would people would say it. I used it not to long ago, and it was so liberating. It was so freeing to use that word, and not let it hold any power. Now I love it, although I rarely use it. So, I guess I'll take this opportunity to say: cunt, cunt, cunt.) So, in the dream, Natalie was rude to me, and acted as if I were beneath her. I was so crushed. I figured I'd let all that go, as I still loved their music. We all went to the concert and were up against the stage. They only sang 2 songs, and I'd never heard them before, but other people were mouthing the words. After the 2 songs, they left the stage and the announcer said they were sick and the show was over! Everyone was so calm and okay w/ it, and just started leaving the venue. I was outraged! Thankfully my friend was there to hand me some Capt. Morgans which we drank straight from the bottle (btw, I've never drank that straight, let alone from the bottle). So, in a nutshell, I had a dream in which Natalie Maines was a complete cunt and I no longer loved the DCX. How's that for a messed up dream? I swear that stuff I dream up sometimes. Too damn crazy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the craziness and it made you smile. p.s. Cunt.
9:30 slice of whole wheat toast w/ pb, Caffeine free Diet Coke
10:30 Mandarin Orange
12:30 Brown rice w/ mixed veggies (mostly asparagus), tabasco sauce, and salad (spring mix w/ spinach) w/ homemade vinaigrette dressing, Caffeine free diet
2:45 Bowl of oatmeal (made w/ soy milk) plus some brown sugar
3:35 bite size 3 Muskateers
5:30 Brocoli and 4 Bisquick biscuits w/ Earth Balance spread
7:00 another biscuit...
7:30 Herbal tea
1:00 Took Junior for 1/3 mile walk, then went an additional 4 miles. The 4 felt like 10, though. Walking into that wind was not fun!