I had a Dr's appointment this morning. It's nothing to really worry about..but my mind always get to over-thinking. So, I had a little nervousness about me going into it. The appointment was supposed to be Monday morning at 8, but when I got there, I was told my Dr's son will ill, so they needed to reschedule. Of course, I felt a bit put out, as it's not easy for me to miss work for appointments, etc. Anyway, I went in today, hoping for answers...while I sat there for half an hour waiting for the Dr, getting myself a little worked up in my head...as I again was missing work for this. I don't know this Dr well, but we do have a friend in common. The Dr comes in and asks how I am, and I probably say I'm good or fine or some other reflex answer. I ask how he is, and he pauses and says, "Okay all things considering, I guess." I'm a little taken back by his answer, and I don't ask him any follow up questions. Without prompt he begins to tell me some things going on in his life, including that his son has brain cancer. You probably could've picked my mouth up off the floor. I ask how old his son is and he's twelve. My heart breaks. I think of my boys. I begin to cry. He tells me his son started having symptoms in January and was diagnosed in February and that it's fatal. There isn't much time left. He talks for a while longer, all the while I'm just stunned. I kept thinking....this man went to school to save lives and how he must feel in this situation with his own son. I couldn't escape the thought. We then went on to my medical thing and he was very thorough, as he always is. I left the appointment, not thinking about myself much, or how I'm getting into work late, but thinking about my kids...how lucky I am they're healthy, and about this man and his family. I sure wasn't expecting to come out of a Dr's appointment like that. It's funny...there is illness all around me right now. It's been a very weird time. I've had my own thing, which who is kidding who, I probably wouldn't have if I weren't so heavy, so I get to beat the shit out of myself over that..., and those things alone should be enough to put things into perspective, but it took the Dr telling me his story, for it to sink in. Life is nothing to take for-granted. Ever.
Monday night I met my friend D for dinner and a couple of quick drinks. For whatever reason, the two of us usually end up talking about something very sad while we're out. Usually it's several drinks in, though. But here we were, the day after 9/11. As usual, we talked about sad stories we'd heard from that day and terrible things that really should never be part of a fun night with a friend, but that's us. It's funny, because I have as much fun with her as I do anyone, but I guess we have to even it out. Go figure. So, in remembering that conversation and thinking about 9/11, I'll leave you with Travelin' Soldier. This song gets me every single time, but it's also beautiful, and of course-it has to be the Dixie Chicks tonight.
Hopefully this post didn't make you want to poke your eyes out too badly. Or maybe just wanting to poke one eye out. I'll take it. Perspective ;)
Please keep Joshua in you prayers.
Have a good night,
Jen