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Diariesofafatass.com

Perfect

5/16/2012

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Holy smokes today is dragging…. 
I hate days like this.  I
like the work day to just fly by. 
I guess it’s just like a lot of places, where you’re either running
around like a chicken with your head cut off, or you have time to do your
blog…


Well, last night was a first.  I was going to go work out w/ a
co-worker, but Brian ended up having to work late. 
So, I picked Cal up from the babysitter, and then we watched the end of
  Ryne’s baseball practice.  From
there, we went home, and I immediately made dinner. 
We were all starving.  After
  dinner was over and talking a bit w/ Brian, I went into my room to chill for a
  few minutes before going for a walk. 
Cal came in and he was talking my ear off (which I love). 
The next thing I know, I’m drifting off.  It was about 6:20. 
I thought, holy cow I’m going to take a nap….The next thing I know (although I
was woken up briefly a few times by the boys and Brian coming in and out of the
room), my phone goes off and it’s 7:30. 
I knew I was down for the night. 
I turned off my phone and went back to sleep. 
I didn’t wash my face, nor did I brush my teeth. 
I was out.  I woke up many
times during the night, but I didn’t wake up for good until about 5. 
I have no idea where that came from.  It really was the craziest thing.  You’d think I’d be starting to PMS, but
it should be too early for that. 
Anyway, I certainly can’t complain about getting too much sleep.  I guess it was much
needed.


Today, I’m starving…. I’m working hard at being good,
though. I needed to take something
for my pills (that antibiotic just kills my stomach if I don’t put something
that’s actually food in there), and the only thing I had was lite popcorn.  So, I did eat ½ a bag to get my pills
down.  I’m not going to feel too
guilty about that, though.  I know
I need to make some nice, Vegan snacks that I can turn to in the morning.  I’ve also had the 1 can of Diet
Coke. Yesterday, that was the only
caffeine I had, too.  I’m getting
myself off this poison, called soda. 
My goal is to be off of it by Monday.  The plan again, is to work out today w/
my boss.  She wants to go on a
  weight loss journey, and I’m really thrilled about this. 
It’s nice to have someone to push you to go to the gym, and actually,
it’s even nicer if I’m the one pushing. 
I love to motivate people. 
She knows overall how much I’ve lost (even though I’ve certainly gained
in recent months) and is motivated by me. 
I love that. Hopefully it’ll
help in motivating me. Right now, I
feel good.  I feel like I’m on the
path.  I even got on the God
Forsakes scale this morning.  I’m
at 206.2  I have so much work to
do, but my first goal is 20 lbs.  I
have an idea of what I want to “reward” myself with, when I get there, and it
really is something to look forward to. 
I also want to use livestrong.com and the “my plate” function.  I’ve used it before. 
I know how to lose weight, but I want to see the ramifications of my
slips, or if my slips really aren’t the end of the world. 
The website is free (although not to use on your phone, as I’ve found out
this morning).  It’s really nice,
it pie charts your carbs, fats, cholesterol, etc. for the day. 
It also gives you a calorie goal, etc. , based on how much, and how
quickly you want to lose.  I don’t
know what the heck is up w/ the blocks on the computers here, but I can’t even
log onto it from here.  It does
exactly what my blog does, it doesn’t let you sign in. 
You can get on the site, but that’s it.  So, I’ll have to log everything at
night, which I guess is fine. 
Anyway, I love it.  Maybe
you will, too?  So, is there anyone
out there that’s ready to start this with me?  Everyone has their own way of doing
things, and I totally get that. 
It’s just nice to be along for the ride with people who have a similar
goal.  If so, let me know, and
let’s do this thing. Nothing makes
me happier than seeing people succeed in weight loss and overall health.  I’d love to get there with
you.


 


That’s all for now. 
Hope you all have a fantastic day. 



Oh, the lyrics for today, are what I wish for me, and
for all of us.  I hear this song,
and it tugs at my heart for certain friends, who I wish could realize how
incredibly awesome they are.  I
also hope that I’ll do the same. 
After last week, I’m really, really working on it. 
It’s certainly a priority in my life right now.


Food:
6:30   Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, banana, blueberries), Can of Diet  Coke
8:00  ½ microwave bag of lite butter popcorn
8:45  Cup of black tea
9:40 Small red apple
11:30 (I already know what I’ll be eating.  Boss offered to take me to lunch at Subway) Footlong on wheat, heavy spinach, light lettuce, tomatoes, black olives,banana peppers, cucumbers, and whatever else I might be forgetting (everything but the jalapenos) w/ honey mustard


F’ing Perfect by Pink


Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood
and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life


Mistreated misplaced
Misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good"
It
didn’t slow me down.

Mistaken
Always second guessing

Underestimated
Look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't
you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Fuckin' perfect

Pretty,
pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothin'
You're fuckin'
perfect to me

You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself, you were
wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead

So
complicated
Look how we all make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a
tired game

It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all
my demons
I've seen you do the same

Ooooh

Pretty, pretty
please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Fuckin'
perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're
nothin'
You're fuckin' perfect to me

The whole worlds scared
So I
swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking
Is an ice cold
beer

So cool in line
And we try, try, try
But we try too hard

And it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics
'Cause
they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans
They don't get my hair


Strange ourselves
And we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I
do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeeeeaaaahhh
Oooooooh
Oh pretty,
pretty please

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like
you're less than
Fuckin' perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever,
ever feel
Like you're nothin'
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're
perfect, you're perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever
feel
Like you're nothin'
You're fuckin' perfect to
me

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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