Okay, back to nearly a year…. So, yesterday was not the greatest day. Cal had started puking at 3:15 A.M. That happens sometimes when he has overwhelming days. I stayed home with the boys. I made the mistake of reading the intro to my blog, though. July 31 will be one year since I started this thing…. And guess what…I finally weighed my fat ass, and I was at 215.8
Yes, I’ve actually gained f’ing weight. What a loser… How’s that for inspiration? So weighing myself, plus reading the blog, plus being a little on edge from the night before, coupled with one of my closest friends calling me out on my absolute worst habit, brought me to tears. Dear Lord. What a pussy. At least it didn’t last long. I worked hard to make the most of the day. I walked for an hour and 10 mins. Plus, I ate really well. I also only had one soda, which goes the same for today. I know soda is my kryptonite. I need to get away from that poison. I also looked at what was really bugging me, which was the clutter of the house which still needed so much unpacking (and also the source of friction between my hubby and I). Anyway, thankfully I got a lot done.
Today, I had great intentions of eating well the entire day, but unfortunately forgot my lunch at home. Ugh. This didn’t have to mean disaster, but I opted to have Mexican food with the guys from work. That was 3 hours ago, and I still feel it weighing down my stomach. But like Amy said, it’s only a “setback” for the day, it won’t determine my day. I need to do a better job of telling myself that. I’ll also have to figure out a way to get in a workout tonight.
It might have to be the BL on the Wii (which is now in Ryne’s room. Good times). I’m determined to get on track. Admittedly, I haven’t been in the best of spirits or moods for a few days, but I know my head is on straight. I know when I’m there, and when I don’t care. Today I care. I’m going to keep telling myself that everyday. BTW. This is a total side note, but I’m chatting w/ Amy as I’m doing this. If I ever find out what makes youcringe, beware. I love to make
people cringe. Or maybe it’s just her, because it’s too easy. Anyway, back to my head being on straight. Lol I’ve really been putting so much thought into this and how important it is. I need to be healthy….I really, really do.
Getting back on the scale was a big step forward for me, even though it
upset me. I actually thought it would be worse. I know I deserved
worse than that. It’s like I’ve been training for a pie eating contest, only with Suzy Q’s and Pepsi. But today is the second day without sugar and I’m surprisingly handling it well. My body is ready, too. Trust me, it’s tired of being sick and tired, just as much as I am. No more excuses….Good Lord I know I hate it when I make excuses, but here I am the master of them.
So, I’m going to put down the lyrics from Pink’s Blow Me (One Last Kiss).
It’s funny, because Sun. started so good for us. We were so flirty, and even on the drive to the race were talking about the lyrics to, Faster. It was going to be on like Donkey Kong that evening, before we pissed each other off. I think every married person when pissed, goes to the worst place in their head, when they are in that moment of MOFO! Really? The same fight, different decade
mode. Whenever any of my girlfriends have talked about this song, they’ve said it’s their anthem. I really don’t feel that way, but certain lyrics from it were going through my head, when I went to bed alone, including: I think I maybe think too much. But not much past that. He’s a good guy, and I do love him. And no, I’m not writing that for his benefit. He’s sworn to me that he’ll never read this blog. Same with my Mom. I wouldn’t be able to be as honest as I am, if I thought they read it.
Hope you all have a great day,
Jen
"Blow Me (One Last Kiss)"
White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight
Clenched
shut jaw, I've got another headache again tonight
Eyes on fire, eyes on fire,
and they burn from all the tears
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've
been dying over you
Tie a knot in the rope, tryna hold, tryna hold,
But
there's nothing to grab so I let go
I think I've finally had enough, I
think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one
last kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My
head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse,
I've had a shit day (NO!)
Have you had a shit day? (NO!), we've had a shit
day (NO!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance
and bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
I
won't miss all of the fighting that we always did,
Take it in, I mean what I
say when I say there is nothing left
No more sick, whiskey dick, no more
battles for me
You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep
I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I'll get
drunk, I'll take somebody home
I think I've finally had enough, I think I
maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last
kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head
is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse, I've
had a shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day
(No!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and
bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
Blow me
one last kiss
Blow me one last kiss
I will do what I please, anything
that I want
I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all
You will
pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear
All the lies, all the why's, will
all be crystal clear
I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe
think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You
think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning
so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit
day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I
think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I
think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
Blow me one last
kiss
Blow me one last kiss
Just when it can't get worse, I've had a
shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I think that life's too short for this, Want back my ignorance and bliss
I
think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
Yes, I’ve actually gained f’ing weight. What a loser… How’s that for inspiration? So weighing myself, plus reading the blog, plus being a little on edge from the night before, coupled with one of my closest friends calling me out on my absolute worst habit, brought me to tears. Dear Lord. What a pussy. At least it didn’t last long. I worked hard to make the most of the day. I walked for an hour and 10 mins. Plus, I ate really well. I also only had one soda, which goes the same for today. I know soda is my kryptonite. I need to get away from that poison. I also looked at what was really bugging me, which was the clutter of the house which still needed so much unpacking (and also the source of friction between my hubby and I). Anyway, thankfully I got a lot done.
Today, I had great intentions of eating well the entire day, but unfortunately forgot my lunch at home. Ugh. This didn’t have to mean disaster, but I opted to have Mexican food with the guys from work. That was 3 hours ago, and I still feel it weighing down my stomach. But like Amy said, it’s only a “setback” for the day, it won’t determine my day. I need to do a better job of telling myself that. I’ll also have to figure out a way to get in a workout tonight.
It might have to be the BL on the Wii (which is now in Ryne’s room. Good times). I’m determined to get on track. Admittedly, I haven’t been in the best of spirits or moods for a few days, but I know my head is on straight. I know when I’m there, and when I don’t care. Today I care. I’m going to keep telling myself that everyday. BTW. This is a total side note, but I’m chatting w/ Amy as I’m doing this. If I ever find out what makes youcringe, beware. I love to make
people cringe. Or maybe it’s just her, because it’s too easy. Anyway, back to my head being on straight. Lol I’ve really been putting so much thought into this and how important it is. I need to be healthy….I really, really do.
Getting back on the scale was a big step forward for me, even though it
upset me. I actually thought it would be worse. I know I deserved
worse than that. It’s like I’ve been training for a pie eating contest, only with Suzy Q’s and Pepsi. But today is the second day without sugar and I’m surprisingly handling it well. My body is ready, too. Trust me, it’s tired of being sick and tired, just as much as I am. No more excuses….Good Lord I know I hate it when I make excuses, but here I am the master of them.
So, I’m going to put down the lyrics from Pink’s Blow Me (One Last Kiss).
It’s funny, because Sun. started so good for us. We were so flirty, and even on the drive to the race were talking about the lyrics to, Faster. It was going to be on like Donkey Kong that evening, before we pissed each other off. I think every married person when pissed, goes to the worst place in their head, when they are in that moment of MOFO! Really? The same fight, different decade
mode. Whenever any of my girlfriends have talked about this song, they’ve said it’s their anthem. I really don’t feel that way, but certain lyrics from it were going through my head, when I went to bed alone, including: I think I maybe think too much. But not much past that. He’s a good guy, and I do love him. And no, I’m not writing that for his benefit. He’s sworn to me that he’ll never read this blog. Same with my Mom. I wouldn’t be able to be as honest as I am, if I thought they read it.
Hope you all have a great day,
Jen
"Blow Me (One Last Kiss)"
White knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight
Clenched
shut jaw, I've got another headache again tonight
Eyes on fire, eyes on fire,
and they burn from all the tears
I've been crying, I've been crying, I've
been dying over you
Tie a knot in the rope, tryna hold, tryna hold,
But
there's nothing to grab so I let go
I think I've finally had enough, I
think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one
last kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My
head is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse,
I've had a shit day (NO!)
Have you had a shit day? (NO!), we've had a shit
day (NO!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance
and bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
I
won't miss all of the fighting that we always did,
Take it in, I mean what I
say when I say there is nothing left
No more sick, whiskey dick, no more
battles for me
You'll be calling a trick, 'cause you'll no longer sleep
I'll dress nice, I'll look good, I'll go dancing alone
I will laugh, I'll get
drunk, I'll take somebody home
I think I've finally had enough, I think I
maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last
kiss)
You think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head
is spinning so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse, I've
had a shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day
(No!)
I think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and
bliss
I think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
Blow me
one last kiss
Blow me one last kiss
I will do what I please, anything
that I want
I will breathe, I will breathe, I won't worry at all
You will
pay for your sins, you'll be sorry my dear
All the lies, all the why's, will
all be crystal clear
I think I've finally had enough, I think I maybe
think too much
I think this might be it for us (blow me one last kiss)
You
think I'm just too serious, I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning
so (blow me one last kiss)
Just when it can't get worse, I've had a shit
day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I
think that life's too short for this, I want back my ignorance and bliss
I
think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
Blow me one last
kiss
Blow me one last kiss
Just when it can't get worse, I've had a
shit day (No!)
Have you had a shit day? (No!), we've had a shit day (No!)
I think that life's too short for this, Want back my ignorance and bliss
I
think I've had enough of this, blow me one last kiss.
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