So, I'll give you a brief rundown of yesterday. The boys stayed at the lock in at the club Friday night. They had an absolute blast, but unfortunately didn't get to sleep until 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. They got woken up for breakfast at 6, and we picked them up at 8. Holy smokes. We had some super tired boys on our hands. Fortunately, they both ended up taking around 5 hour naps. I was really wanting to get on the treadmill, but I was fearful that I'd wake them. I decided to quit lounging around and being lazy, and make myself drive into the club. I'm so glad I did. I did the incumbent bike for 40 mins. I did level 4 on hills. It was nearly killing me, so I figured I would go down to level 3 at 30 mins. (since I'm such a fat ass). Anyway, I pushed through, and made it the whole 40 mins at level 4. I was feeling great, and I headed down to the weight room. As I was walking, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and it just shattered me.... I hate looking like this...being so fucking fat. I look like a damn linebacker. I know I'm losing weight, but it's not coming quick enough for me (as nothing ever does....can't seem to ever be satisfied). It really shook my confidence and spent my time worrying that all of the in shape guys were making fun of me behind my fat back. I managed to get my weights in, though, and that felt great. My diet was pretty on track, too. I can't bitch about it, esp. given it was a Sat. Oh, and I also got Junior out for 1/2 mile. He loves the snow, but it's hard on me. And I hate freezing my butt off.
Today started out totally awesomely. Cal agreed to go to church with me. I was so excited. He really enjoyed himself and wants to go next week, too. He was so cute trying to sing the hymns. Once he'd figure where words would repeat, he'd just belt it out. He's totally the singer in the family. Lord knows, it's not any of the rest of us. Anyway, I'm stoked that he's into church. They even gave him his first bible :)
My knee has kinda been bothering me, since I started working out again. I'm trying to do more incumbent bike (supposed to be easiest on my knee), but unfortunately I only have a treadmill at home. Today my knee has been sore, and then when I tried to do my 30 second run (I do one every 1/4 miles), I came up gimping. There was no way I could run.... I kept walking, though, and increased my speed a tad. It kicked my ass. And yes, my knee is still sore... I'm so mad at myself. I'm sure I wouldn't have this knee issue, had I never gained all of that weight. One thing I know for sure, is the last thing I want, is another microfracture surgery....but I also know I'm not going out like this. I need to keep pushing to lose weight. I won't allow myself to be a totally pussy w/ excuses anymore. So, wish my knee luck.... We'll need it :)
So, when I got on here to do today's blog, I turned on the t.v., and ironically enough Promiscuous was on, by Nelly Furtado. How fitting. If I could choose any body to have, it's her body from that video. Or, it's Gwen's body from the Rock Steady dvd. Both of them are perfection. It's both inspiring and upsetting at the same time. Away, I'll choose to look at them as inspiration. I'm the only one that can improve my body. If they can do it, can't anyone :)
Well, as you'll see below, I totally shit the bed at dinner time. It was so good, and I totally missed that food. Reminded me of the old meatloaf and mashed potato days. I can tell you this, I totally regret going back for seconds. It about put me to sleep. Food should give you energy, not knock you out. I feel miserable. Lesson learned...again.
Hope you guys get a 3 day weekend. The boys have school off, but unfortunately Brian has to work.
I love hearing from you guys. Keep it up. Let's all conquer this together.
Much love,
Jen
Food:
8:45 Smoothie (soy milk, kale, banana, flax seed, blueberries)
12:00 PB sandwich w/ honey on whole wheat bread, cutie Orange
4:00 Apple, green tea
6:15 (2) helpings of mashed potatoes, 1/3 ear of corn, lots of steamed veggies: carrots, yellow squash, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, 4 Rhodes rolls.....
7:00 Caffeine free Diet Coke
Exercise:
2 miles on treadmill, mostly incline 5, most at 3.7 mph
Took Junior for 1/2 mile walk in the freezing wind....