Mother of a teenager!

Today is Ryne's 13th birthday.  I can't even begin to wrap my head around the fact that my son is now a teenager.  There have been hints that he's getting closer...arm pit hair, cheesy terrible semi-mustache coming in...but still, I never really gave thought to him becoming a teenager.  I'll admit: it freaks me out.  In fact, I'm getting even getting more freaked out about it as I type this.  Anyway, leave it to me, to make his birthday about me.  Brian and Ryne both played hooky today and went to Seattle to see the Mariner's play this afternoon.  They had a fantastic day.  Brian always jokes about everything always falling Ryne's way.  To go to the game, everything lined up.  The Mariners were at home, playing a day game, and this is the only Wed. during baseball season that Ryne didn't have a game.  Brian was pretty pumped, too.  I think he might've even been more excited than Ryne about the game.

Cal had a baseball game tonight, so it's been a busy day.  Actually, it's been a crazy, busy week.  I know it's only Hump Day! but sunnava bitch, I'm counting down to Friday.  The commute, the job, the late nights at the ballpark have caught up to me tonight.  By nature, I'm a night owl, and I've been finding it really hard to get to bed early.  It's just that there's no time for me, if I go to bed early.  But right now, typing this is my time.   I enjoy this.  I'm too tired to have anything really clever to say, but it makes me feel good just being on here.  Even if I'm the only one who reads this, I enjoy having a voice again.  And I can't tell you how happy I am, that I'm in a place where I'm not afraid to share my voice or say what's on my mind.  Could it be, that at my fattest and obviously oldest I've ever been, I've freed myself from the worry of what others think?  I'm not all the way there, but mofo, I've come a long ass way.  I'm so very thankful for this....  It's as if I'm free....

I'm too tired to write on the book tonight, but I've been thinking about it a lot.  This last stretch has been the toughest for me.  Apparently I don't even like drama or confrontation when it's in a fictional form.  The big "thing" in the book is completely made up, but I feel so protective of the characters that I'm being very cautious at this point of the book.

Well, I should get some sleep...

Thanks so much for being a part of my life,

Jen

Oh, I heard this song, coming back from the ball field tonight.  It had been a while since I heard it, but I do love Staind.

This is my life, it's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
'Cause I, I must be sleeping,

Now that we're here, so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
An' all the mistakes one life contained
They all finally start to go away

An' now that we're here, it's so far away
An' I feel like I can face the day
An' I can't forget that I'm not ashamed
To be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doin' okay
And this is the smile
I've never shown before
Somebody shake me
'Cause I, I must be sleeping

An' now that we're here, it's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
An' all the mistakes one life contained
They all finally start to go away

An' now that we're here, it's so far away
An' I feel like I can face the day
An' I can't forget that I'm not ashamed
To be the person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

Now that we're here, it's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
An' all the mistakes one life contained
They all finally start to go away

An' now that we're here, it's so far away
An' I feel like I can face the day
An' I can't forget that I'm not ashamed
To be the person that I am today



Read more: Staind - So Far Away Lyrics | MetroLyrics