Not quite sure why the Monday blues have
caught up with me today. I got
myself up a little earlier this morning and thought good thoughts. Maybe it’s just too quiet around here this morning.
Everyone is either in meetings or off working on some project. My boss is off today, too. Usually I welcome the quiet. It gives me lots of opportunity to get things done, which I have, but I’m
dragging. I shouldn’t be tired. OMG…. I got actual quality sleep this weekend. So, none of it really makes sense to me, but I’m working hard on not letting myself get into a funk today. Would I rather be home, than here? Hell
yes. But geez, so would most people. I’m appreciative to have a job and to work with mostly good ppl. So, suck it up, Buttercup. Put on your big girl panties (you know which ones I’m talking about Jen, the type you wore when you were pregnant and still do on occasion) and enjoy the day. Okay, better.
Self-talk. There will probably be a lot more of that today, which I fear. Gotta keep it on the positive.
I left work at 2 on Friday to help with our co. Adopt-a-Highway program. It
always makes me feel good to be doing something like that, and of course the
promise of free food and alcohol afterward is always super inviting. We were out in the sun for a few hours with no water. I knew that before getting to the bar, but did I have 2 glasses of water before I started drinking….? Of course not, that’s what a smartperson would do. Before I finished my first beer, I was pretty toasted. I knew it, so I then ate and got some water in me, too, but it was too late. I was drunk, in a quick way. It was the wrong time to drink that much. I got my “Ingine” on. Ugh, I fucking hate that. I used to never do that.
Now, I’ve done it twice in a year. What an asshole. Oh well, enough about that. I had a decent headache come Saturday. But maybe that was a good thing. I definitely deserved to be punished (although I beat myself up so badly,
anyway….). But most importantly, it gave me a reason to stay in bed. I
was so sleep deprived that it felt great to lay there and be lazy. Brian and the boys had a “boys” day and went into the city. I spent a lot of the day just lounging around and watched the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. That
stupid show….tore my heart out. And next week’s will be harder for me, I know. Why am I attracted to something that makes me cry? Crazy. In the afternoon, I finally got some cleaning done. If I’m not home the night before, it looks like a bomb went off in our house. And Saturday was no exception. I know it’s obvious, but why I enjoy cleaning is that you actually see a quick result. It’s not like most things in life (diet included) which you don’t see a
noticeable difference for some time. Anyway, Saturday turned out to be one of the most relaxing days in quite some time.
Yesterday did include more relaxation, but it also was some great quality time.
We played different sports outside with the boys. It feels good to be active that way. I got our grocery shopping done, and made a roast for the boys for dinner. If I make meat, the guys all go crazy. I got to watch lots of football and talk trash with Mel. I know you don’t care, but I beat her in the league that matters (our $ league). Not only beat: whooped her ass. Haha.
Anyway, sorry I haven’t been on here too much. Things have recently been a
little crazy. Hopefully it all settles down soon. I’m ready for a sense of normalcy. And I’m ready to quit beating the shit out of myself. I’ve been my own punching bag lately in the worst of ways. I feel undeserving of everything in my life. But I’m working on it. I’ll just keep talking to myself, like the crazy bitch I am ; )
Oh yeah, I am eating very well! Just wanted to let you know. This has been my best week in quite some time. I’m still off the pop and caffeine (except the occasional tea). Physically, I’m already feeling better. I also put the picture of
the fruit bowl on here, so you see what a typical morning snack is for me. I usually eat it over a few days or so. It’s no accident that some of the most fit ppl I know, always have bowls of fruit or platters of veggies at the ready and snack on whenever they want. So, when Laura gave me a fruit salad (NO, NOT TOSSED SALAD), recently I took a page from her book. And I’m still using the same bowl. Need to get that back to her. But anyway, it’s easy to just throw a few things together and when you’re hungry, snack on it. Totally easy concept, but one that I never used until recently.
I’ll be giving you the lyrics to: Just Give Me A Reason off the new Pink c.d. Everyone I’ve talked to about this c.d. loves the c.d., and they always mention this being their favorite song: married, single, divorced, I think everyone can relate to it in some way, or has at some time in their life. Do yourself a favor and get this c.d. Pink is simply brilliant….
Food:
6:30 Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, banana, blueberries)
7:45 Cup of hot tea
9:00 Fruit bowl (strawberries, grapes, bananas)
12:15 Herb Spring mix salad w/ lite honey mustard dressing and the rest of vegan pad thai (1 order, ate over 3 meals), iced tea
2:00 Fruit-banana, grapes
5:30 Left-over red potatoes and carrots (from crock pot) w/ little bit of brown gravy, and kale/romaine salad w/ salsa.
Exercise:
50 mins walking
Just Give Me A Reason
Right from the start
You were a thief you stole my heart
And I
your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that
pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your
sleep
Things you never say to me
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our
love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not
broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Im sorry I don't
understand where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
Oh
we had everything
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have
everything
And its all in your mind
Yeah but this is happening
You've
been having real bad dreams
Oh oh
You used to lie so close to me
Oh
oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love, oh
our love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's
enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love
again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never
stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You’re not broken
just bent and we can learn to love again
Oh tears ducts and rust
I'll
fix it for us
We're collecting dust but our love's enough
You're holding
it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll
come clean
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a
second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in
the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken
just bent
And we can learn to love again
caught up with me today. I got
myself up a little earlier this morning and thought good thoughts. Maybe it’s just too quiet around here this morning.
Everyone is either in meetings or off working on some project. My boss is off today, too. Usually I welcome the quiet. It gives me lots of opportunity to get things done, which I have, but I’m
dragging. I shouldn’t be tired. OMG…. I got actual quality sleep this weekend. So, none of it really makes sense to me, but I’m working hard on not letting myself get into a funk today. Would I rather be home, than here? Hell
yes. But geez, so would most people. I’m appreciative to have a job and to work with mostly good ppl. So, suck it up, Buttercup. Put on your big girl panties (you know which ones I’m talking about Jen, the type you wore when you were pregnant and still do on occasion) and enjoy the day. Okay, better.
Self-talk. There will probably be a lot more of that today, which I fear. Gotta keep it on the positive.
I left work at 2 on Friday to help with our co. Adopt-a-Highway program. It
always makes me feel good to be doing something like that, and of course the
promise of free food and alcohol afterward is always super inviting. We were out in the sun for a few hours with no water. I knew that before getting to the bar, but did I have 2 glasses of water before I started drinking….? Of course not, that’s what a smartperson would do. Before I finished my first beer, I was pretty toasted. I knew it, so I then ate and got some water in me, too, but it was too late. I was drunk, in a quick way. It was the wrong time to drink that much. I got my “Ingine” on. Ugh, I fucking hate that. I used to never do that.
Now, I’ve done it twice in a year. What an asshole. Oh well, enough about that. I had a decent headache come Saturday. But maybe that was a good thing. I definitely deserved to be punished (although I beat myself up so badly,
anyway….). But most importantly, it gave me a reason to stay in bed. I
was so sleep deprived that it felt great to lay there and be lazy. Brian and the boys had a “boys” day and went into the city. I spent a lot of the day just lounging around and watched the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. That
stupid show….tore my heart out. And next week’s will be harder for me, I know. Why am I attracted to something that makes me cry? Crazy. In the afternoon, I finally got some cleaning done. If I’m not home the night before, it looks like a bomb went off in our house. And Saturday was no exception. I know it’s obvious, but why I enjoy cleaning is that you actually see a quick result. It’s not like most things in life (diet included) which you don’t see a
noticeable difference for some time. Anyway, Saturday turned out to be one of the most relaxing days in quite some time.
Yesterday did include more relaxation, but it also was some great quality time.
We played different sports outside with the boys. It feels good to be active that way. I got our grocery shopping done, and made a roast for the boys for dinner. If I make meat, the guys all go crazy. I got to watch lots of football and talk trash with Mel. I know you don’t care, but I beat her in the league that matters (our $ league). Not only beat: whooped her ass. Haha.
Anyway, sorry I haven’t been on here too much. Things have recently been a
little crazy. Hopefully it all settles down soon. I’m ready for a sense of normalcy. And I’m ready to quit beating the shit out of myself. I’ve been my own punching bag lately in the worst of ways. I feel undeserving of everything in my life. But I’m working on it. I’ll just keep talking to myself, like the crazy bitch I am ; )
Oh yeah, I am eating very well! Just wanted to let you know. This has been my best week in quite some time. I’m still off the pop and caffeine (except the occasional tea). Physically, I’m already feeling better. I also put the picture of
the fruit bowl on here, so you see what a typical morning snack is for me. I usually eat it over a few days or so. It’s no accident that some of the most fit ppl I know, always have bowls of fruit or platters of veggies at the ready and snack on whenever they want. So, when Laura gave me a fruit salad (NO, NOT TOSSED SALAD), recently I took a page from her book. And I’m still using the same bowl. Need to get that back to her. But anyway, it’s easy to just throw a few things together and when you’re hungry, snack on it. Totally easy concept, but one that I never used until recently.
I’ll be giving you the lyrics to: Just Give Me A Reason off the new Pink c.d. Everyone I’ve talked to about this c.d. loves the c.d., and they always mention this being their favorite song: married, single, divorced, I think everyone can relate to it in some way, or has at some time in their life. Do yourself a favor and get this c.d. Pink is simply brilliant….
Food:
6:30 Smoothie (water, flax seed, spinach, banana, blueberries)
7:45 Cup of hot tea
9:00 Fruit bowl (strawberries, grapes, bananas)
12:15 Herb Spring mix salad w/ lite honey mustard dressing and the rest of vegan pad thai (1 order, ate over 3 meals), iced tea
2:00 Fruit-banana, grapes
5:30 Left-over red potatoes and carrots (from crock pot) w/ little bit of brown gravy, and kale/romaine salad w/ salsa.
Exercise:
50 mins walking
Just Give Me A Reason
Right from the start
You were a thief you stole my heart
And I
your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that
pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your
sleep
Things you never say to me
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our
love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not
broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Im sorry I don't
understand where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
Oh
we had everything
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have
everything
And its all in your mind
Yeah but this is happening
You've
been having real bad dreams
Oh oh
You used to lie so close to me
Oh
oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love, oh
our love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's
enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love
again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never
stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You’re not broken
just bent and we can learn to love again
Oh tears ducts and rust
I'll
fix it for us
We're collecting dust but our love's enough
You're holding
it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll
come clean
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a
second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in
the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken
just bent
And we can learn to love again
RSS Feed