Most of us parents have heard something along the lines of being the meanest parent in the world. I didn't hear those exact words from my fifteen year old tonight, but I'm sure he was thinking much, much worse. I see his disdain for me written all over his face sometimes. At times I worry, he'll always hate me, and other times, I have to remind myself that's just how it's going to have to be for a while. I love him with my entire being, and I would love it if he actually liked me all the time. But more than him liking me, I want to do right by him. I want to make him accountable for his actions. I want him to grow up to be the kind of man people look up to. He's such a great kid and has such a big heart. This is a hard age, though. Holy shit is it hard. So, tonight and for many, many more nights (as his phone has been taken away), he will think of me as some unreasonable, mean, heartless woman (although I'm sure a much harsher term is running through his head). I just continue to hope and pray that one day (sooner than later), he realizes, that everything was truly done out of a place of love. I'll even have to remind myself of that at times, too, when it feels like I'm not getting through and I'll feel my own anger in my chest. Parenting a teenager equals an awful lot of deep breaths.
There are many things I wanted to write about tonight, but the wind has been taken out of my sails. I will tell you that the "Summer of Concerts" got a nice surprise on Sunday night. Sometimes you just get lucky...and that's what happened when I ended up last minute with tickets to Adele on Sunday night. I love the shit out of Adele. I was obsessed with 21 for a good couple of years. Let me tell you, when you're depressed about moving, and your dog dying....Adele can only make it worse. Haha. I used to think that it was good when I felt things deeply, because I was pretty surface through my younger years. As I've gotten older, I've wished that I didn't feel things so deeply, though. If I could change that about myself, I would. And yes, with 25 I'm much more aware of Adele's stranglehold on my soul. I pre-ordered it on iTunes, but I've never sat down and listened to the album straight through. I've heard all of the songs here and there, but sit and listen to that whole album? Who the fuck wants to feel that? Anyway, even though she cuts in places you wish weren't there, she is pure brilliance. If you get the chance to see this show, take it. Three hundred level seats and all, I'd have to say it's one of the best shows I've ever seen. Trust me on this one. Those poor sons of bitches, Air Supply, have a lot to live up to on Saturday night. I'm already disappointed in that concert. Ha.
Well, writing has made feel better...so thank you for allowing me this platform. I'll leave you with the song that made me cry the hardest on Sunday. You'll love/hate me for it.
Happy Hump Day Eve
Jen
There are many things I wanted to write about tonight, but the wind has been taken out of my sails. I will tell you that the "Summer of Concerts" got a nice surprise on Sunday night. Sometimes you just get lucky...and that's what happened when I ended up last minute with tickets to Adele on Sunday night. I love the shit out of Adele. I was obsessed with 21 for a good couple of years. Let me tell you, when you're depressed about moving, and your dog dying....Adele can only make it worse. Haha. I used to think that it was good when I felt things deeply, because I was pretty surface through my younger years. As I've gotten older, I've wished that I didn't feel things so deeply, though. If I could change that about myself, I would. And yes, with 25 I'm much more aware of Adele's stranglehold on my soul. I pre-ordered it on iTunes, but I've never sat down and listened to the album straight through. I've heard all of the songs here and there, but sit and listen to that whole album? Who the fuck wants to feel that? Anyway, even though she cuts in places you wish weren't there, she is pure brilliance. If you get the chance to see this show, take it. Three hundred level seats and all, I'd have to say it's one of the best shows I've ever seen. Trust me on this one. Those poor sons of bitches, Air Supply, have a lot to live up to on Saturday night. I'm already disappointed in that concert. Ha.
Well, writing has made feel better...so thank you for allowing me this platform. I'll leave you with the song that made me cry the hardest on Sunday. You'll love/hate me for it.
Happy Hump Day Eve
Jen
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