My head has not been in its best place lately. It's not in a bad place. It's just not where it should be. I haven't been eating well since last week. It started with, oh, it's just one meal, to it's just one day, to one more day, to one more day, and so on. "I'll start tomorrow." So, here I am. Starting tomorrow. I haven't gone completely crazy. There's been no regular soda or ice cream, but there's been fast food and Chinese. Ugh. I feel like utter shit when I eat like this. We went to Red Robin (which I love, because they'll do any burger with a Gardenburger patty) and of course pigged out. One would think I wouldn't have needed to eat again that day, but no... I had my leftover Chinese for dinner. OMG, I felt so sick that night. So, yesterday I thought I'd get my shit together. No...more poor eating choices and today, more of the same. It's time to put a stop to this.
This weekend I was looking through pictures, trying to find my picture of zip lining in Vegas. I wanted some inspiration. This picture is from that same trip. I remember being so very unhappy with my weight at this point. Man, what I'd give to be "that fat" right now. Seeing the pictures from just 3-4 years ago (4 years ago esp.) was super depressing actually. It wasn't inspiring like I'd hoped. To get to that fat weight, which was pretty fat, I need to lose another 30 pounds or so. This is after I've already lost 18. That sucks. But at least I'm 18 pounds closer than I was less than 2 months ago. (although I'm sure I've gained this past week :( Anyway, just as much as mourning the weight gain, I mourned the person I was. Now, I've never been a person that's naturally happy. I've always had to and always will have to work at it. But I enjoyed the moment so much more not that many years ago. This picture was taken on a Vegas trip I took with my friend Caity to celebrate our 40th birthdays. Mind you, we'd been drinking, a lot, but this guy is actually playing live music with his band. I got up there and did this. I DID. Most would probably look at this and be embarrassed. Not me. I actually like it. I love that I was fearless. It reminds me of a time I put myself out there. I rarely do that anymore. I find that sad. I want to be a better version of the self I used to be. So, here's hoping the obsessive thinking about it the past few days will actually benefit me. Haha. I'll get there. I know I will. I have brushes with the "fun girl." I really do, but she never stays very long. Lord knows she can't hold it together for an entire night or trip, but she comes out a little bit. Even that is a step forward from where I was. I'll take it. I've got to keep working on my own story. Life's a book, write it however you'd like.
Here's hoping you've been healthier than I've been lately. We only have our health. It's the most important thing in our lives. Yes, more important than anything....
Here's hoping you're having a pleasant Monday.
~Jen
Be Okay (by Oh Honey)
Fresh cut grass, one cold beer
Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now
Summer dress, favorite park
Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now
I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
Sun kissed skin on my lips
Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now
Fireflies after dark
Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now
I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Oh! Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
We'll be okay
We'll be okay
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh! Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
Songwriters
CHRISTIAN MEDICE, PHOEBE RYAN, MITCHELL COLLINS, DANIELLE BOUCHARD, LAWRENCE PRINCIPATO, DENIS LIPARI
Published by
Lyrics © BMG PLATINUM SONGS
This weekend I was looking through pictures, trying to find my picture of zip lining in Vegas. I wanted some inspiration. This picture is from that same trip. I remember being so very unhappy with my weight at this point. Man, what I'd give to be "that fat" right now. Seeing the pictures from just 3-4 years ago (4 years ago esp.) was super depressing actually. It wasn't inspiring like I'd hoped. To get to that fat weight, which was pretty fat, I need to lose another 30 pounds or so. This is after I've already lost 18. That sucks. But at least I'm 18 pounds closer than I was less than 2 months ago. (although I'm sure I've gained this past week :( Anyway, just as much as mourning the weight gain, I mourned the person I was. Now, I've never been a person that's naturally happy. I've always had to and always will have to work at it. But I enjoyed the moment so much more not that many years ago. This picture was taken on a Vegas trip I took with my friend Caity to celebrate our 40th birthdays. Mind you, we'd been drinking, a lot, but this guy is actually playing live music with his band. I got up there and did this. I DID. Most would probably look at this and be embarrassed. Not me. I actually like it. I love that I was fearless. It reminds me of a time I put myself out there. I rarely do that anymore. I find that sad. I want to be a better version of the self I used to be. So, here's hoping the obsessive thinking about it the past few days will actually benefit me. Haha. I'll get there. I know I will. I have brushes with the "fun girl." I really do, but she never stays very long. Lord knows she can't hold it together for an entire night or trip, but she comes out a little bit. Even that is a step forward from where I was. I'll take it. I've got to keep working on my own story. Life's a book, write it however you'd like.
Here's hoping you've been healthier than I've been lately. We only have our health. It's the most important thing in our lives. Yes, more important than anything....
Here's hoping you're having a pleasant Monday.
~Jen
Be Okay (by Oh Honey)
Fresh cut grass, one cold beer
Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now
Summer dress, favorite park
Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now
I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
Sun kissed skin on my lips
Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now
Fireflies after dark
Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now
I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?
Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling
Oh! Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
We'll be okay
We'll be okay
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh! Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
We're sleeping out, I believe we'll be okay
Songwriters
CHRISTIAN MEDICE, PHOEBE RYAN, MITCHELL COLLINS, DANIELLE BOUCHARD, LAWRENCE PRINCIPATO, DENIS LIPARI
Published by
Lyrics © BMG PLATINUM SONGS
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