I’ve spent a lot of time lately working on accepting who I am. My whole life I’ve worried all too much about what other people think of me. It’s still there, but I’ve come a really long way. But recently, I’ve really started to feel good about the fact that I seem to march to the beat of my own drum. I’ve begun to appreciate some of the things that I always hated about myself-like how my mind never stops-or how I have a story in my head for everything-like most songs, I have my own made up video in my head. As I’ve gotten more excited about the book, I’ve really started to be thankful that my brain works this way. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t have writing. I wouldn’t have my book, and I thank God for it. For most of the time that I’ve had this blog, it’s bothered me that my most personal relationship is probably with the writing I do on here. It’s where I get my thoughts out. It’s where I feel safe. I have relationships with people that are so wonderful, but there’s no safer place for me, than my own head. I finally appreciate that I have this blog. It’s not meant for millions of people to read. Every once in a while, one of my friends will tell me they read it all the time, but for the most part, I don’t know who does. When I started it again, I was really careful about who I let know about it. But I find myself grateful I have it: grateful that I have an outlet, as my head has been all over the place today. This blog is my comfort….my anxiety drug I guess.
I’ve given myself a two week deadline to finish up this edit on the book. I got a lot done this weekend (the one good thing about the rain storms), and so now I’m feeling better about where I am. I also wrote a whole new chapter. I think it helps fill in a hole in the understanding of the longstanding relationship between two of the characters. I’m waiting to hear back from my editor and her thoughts on it. I’ve asked her just to let me know about the idea/content, but she’s already told me she’s going to edit it-it’s in her blood. I’ll take it! She has been doing all of this work the past couple of months-at no charge. Thank God for her….thank God that I could see the magic in her, when I went into something so blind. I always second guess myself, and I’m so glad I went with my instinct on this one. We’ve been communicating a bit today, so I know what the next step is after her next edit (and the price). I’m praying, praying, praying-that after some light editing after that-it’ll be ready to shop to publishers. I know I need a line edit after this next edit, but a publisher gets it, they’ll use their own anyway. I don’t want to pay more than I have to.
Switching gears-I showed my coworker Jim the above picture and we were laughing about it. Then we got to talking about Naked & Afraid (OMG-my new obsession-only thing I watch on t.v. anymore), and we were rolling. We were talking about women having their periods out there and have positively awful that much be. I told him, we should look closely to see if we see tufts of moss coming out of their peekachu from behind, when they have the ass shots. Yes, I crack myself up. It was so vivid in my head; I could hardly get it out. It was then that I farted. Yes, I cracked myself up so bad that I farted. A few of my friends fart when they laugh, but this was a first for me. He was laughing so hard he didn’t seem to hear me, but I do live in cubicle land….God knows what others heard. My fingers are crossed they didn’t hear…but if they did…I’ll laugh about it one day.
So, back to marching to the beat of my own drummer… Thankfully, I have some people in my life, who march to a similar beat at times. A friend and I were texting today, cracking ourselves up at something most people would go WTF? But to us, it was gold. She text me, “We crack ourselves up, don’t we? I love it.” There was no, we’re so weird or whatever…it just is. To me, that’s what friendship is.
Because I’ve been sharing with you how my mind over thinks things and goes off on its own little tangent, I’ll give you my song of the moment. Every once in a while I get fixated on Her Town Too by James Taylor, and I am now-playing it every day. Usually when I love a song, it’s because I can relate to it, or you want that so bad you can feel it or whatever. This song is just plain great. I have nothing that it speaks to in my life at all, but when I hear it, Carly Simon always pops into my mind. I wonder if it’s about her. I’ve never looked this up, because I like to keep the way it all plays out in my heard. I don’t want to know that it’s before her or about someone else or whatever. Sometimes when I hear it, I think it must be about her, she’s singing on it. Again, intentionally, I’ve never looked it up to see if she is singing harmony. Well, recently Sheryl Crow was talking about this song and how J.D. Souther wrote it w/ James Taylor and sings on it…Yeah, so I guess it isn’t Carly Simon singing on it. It’s a dude. Still, I’ll keep my little fantasy-it just fits their story! Am I right? That’s a rhetorical question. I doubt there are many people on this earth who have given it the kind of thought I have.
Okay, I’ll let you go. If you mad it all the way though my writing today-Congratulations! I’ll buy you a beer, the next time I see you.
Enjoy the song, and here’s hoping that you appreciate the beat of whatever drum you march to.
Much Love,
Jen
I’ve given myself a two week deadline to finish up this edit on the book. I got a lot done this weekend (the one good thing about the rain storms), and so now I’m feeling better about where I am. I also wrote a whole new chapter. I think it helps fill in a hole in the understanding of the longstanding relationship between two of the characters. I’m waiting to hear back from my editor and her thoughts on it. I’ve asked her just to let me know about the idea/content, but she’s already told me she’s going to edit it-it’s in her blood. I’ll take it! She has been doing all of this work the past couple of months-at no charge. Thank God for her….thank God that I could see the magic in her, when I went into something so blind. I always second guess myself, and I’m so glad I went with my instinct on this one. We’ve been communicating a bit today, so I know what the next step is after her next edit (and the price). I’m praying, praying, praying-that after some light editing after that-it’ll be ready to shop to publishers. I know I need a line edit after this next edit, but a publisher gets it, they’ll use their own anyway. I don’t want to pay more than I have to.
Switching gears-I showed my coworker Jim the above picture and we were laughing about it. Then we got to talking about Naked & Afraid (OMG-my new obsession-only thing I watch on t.v. anymore), and we were rolling. We were talking about women having their periods out there and have positively awful that much be. I told him, we should look closely to see if we see tufts of moss coming out of their peekachu from behind, when they have the ass shots. Yes, I crack myself up. It was so vivid in my head; I could hardly get it out. It was then that I farted. Yes, I cracked myself up so bad that I farted. A few of my friends fart when they laugh, but this was a first for me. He was laughing so hard he didn’t seem to hear me, but I do live in cubicle land….God knows what others heard. My fingers are crossed they didn’t hear…but if they did…I’ll laugh about it one day.
So, back to marching to the beat of my own drummer… Thankfully, I have some people in my life, who march to a similar beat at times. A friend and I were texting today, cracking ourselves up at something most people would go WTF? But to us, it was gold. She text me, “We crack ourselves up, don’t we? I love it.” There was no, we’re so weird or whatever…it just is. To me, that’s what friendship is.
Because I’ve been sharing with you how my mind over thinks things and goes off on its own little tangent, I’ll give you my song of the moment. Every once in a while I get fixated on Her Town Too by James Taylor, and I am now-playing it every day. Usually when I love a song, it’s because I can relate to it, or you want that so bad you can feel it or whatever. This song is just plain great. I have nothing that it speaks to in my life at all, but when I hear it, Carly Simon always pops into my mind. I wonder if it’s about her. I’ve never looked this up, because I like to keep the way it all plays out in my heard. I don’t want to know that it’s before her or about someone else or whatever. Sometimes when I hear it, I think it must be about her, she’s singing on it. Again, intentionally, I’ve never looked it up to see if she is singing harmony. Well, recently Sheryl Crow was talking about this song and how J.D. Souther wrote it w/ James Taylor and sings on it…Yeah, so I guess it isn’t Carly Simon singing on it. It’s a dude. Still, I’ll keep my little fantasy-it just fits their story! Am I right? That’s a rhetorical question. I doubt there are many people on this earth who have given it the kind of thought I have.
Okay, I’ll let you go. If you mad it all the way though my writing today-Congratulations! I’ll buy you a beer, the next time I see you.
Enjoy the song, and here’s hoping that you appreciate the beat of whatever drum you march to.
Much Love,
Jen
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