Just get over it....

So, yesterday was an extremely tough day for me.  I've been really worried about someone and feel so helpless.  On top of that, the stress of waiting for the phone call about the job (which I still haven't rec'd, but I do have a call into them.)  It's all just too much.  It seems like I haven't been able to deal with things real well the past year or so.  Before the past year, I had no idea what true depression was.  Now, I knew profound sadness, but clinical depression is a whole different thing.  I've really been struggling with it.  Yesterday it swallowed me whole.  If you've ever really experienced it, than you know what it means.  I couldn't get out of bed, etc.  My head goes to the worst places.  I absolutely HATE it.  I wish to God, I'd never, ever experienced it.  In my situation yesterday, I even ate meat.  I think it was a way of punishing myself even more.  I betrayed the one thing that I cherish most about myself: vegetarianism.  Not a smart move.  Let's just say, along w/ the emotional scars from it, come the potty scars.  lol  And it's not all done....  I did a number on my system.  Anyway, it's over, and I'm not going to let it dictate any of my further eating habits.

Today is a new day.  I'm mostly out of the fog.  I'm still fighting it in ways, but I've been keeping myself busy all day.  I've been a cleaning fool!  I've taken some steps to help my depression and made myself call on that job.  Oh, and I'm even going to wash my hair today :)  I'm pretty fucking proud of myself.  Although fighting depression is sometimes not an option, when it's really, really bad, at other times you can control how much it takes over your life.  I'm thankful to have some control today.  I'm also thankful for you guys.  Thanks for talking me off the ledge.  Love ya.