Taking the apple cider vinegar shots has gotten easier. Sometimes my stomach hardly takes notice. I finished my first bottle this morning, and I'm ready to start the new bottle of Bragg's organic, unfiltered ACV tomorrow. My sister Nealy recommended it, so I'm confident I'm on the right path. It appears darker and scarier than what I just finished, though. I don't think I will have the nads to take this one straight.
On a totally unrelated note (they're talking about on t.v. now), I saw La La Land last weekend. I hadn't been to the movies in a really long time, and man alive was it worth it. What a great film. There was one thing about it that bothered me, but I don't dare talk about it if you haven't seen it. It was really cool how seamlessly they added dance and song to a regular film. I'll definitely see it again.
I just put some eggs on the stove to boil. I've been buying them from a coworker, whose mother has a farm. The eggs are so great. I love knowing where the food actually comes from. It's so hard to trust labels. I've seen photos of "cage free" chickens, and really there's just thousands shoved in a barn and they still can't move. Of course, not all egg farms are like that, but I don't like not knowing for sure. I'm also ordering some meat today from a friend's uncle. He takes good care of his animals, and again, it makes me feel better that he's not pumping his animals full of hormones and antibiotics. I eat less meat than I did even a month ago. I want to cut it back even more, but even if I'm not eating all of it, I love that my family will be eating a healthier version of meat.
The week going into my weigh-in was tough. I really haven't been in the best place lately. Especially that week, I had a lot of anxiety. Thankfully I don't get anxiety too much anymore, but it still loves to rear its ugly head on occasion. I drank four times that week (two to try and deal with the anxiety-not a good method of attack, once socially, and the Super Bowl). I didn't have any crazy nights, but alcohol isn't good for the weight loss process. It's just a fact (even though my dear friend Lynn tells me it's really healthy-since it's grapes). I was on the go a lot that week and went to breakfast twice (ordering mindfully, at least). In saying all of the things I did wrong, there was a lot of good things in there. I got my steps in most days, even when the weather was a son of a bitch. Even though I had some bites of things I normally wouldn't, my Super Bowl eating was mostly healthy. I made a lot of unhealthy things for the boys and our company, but I concentrated on a healthy, chicken chili and ate a big salad after, so I wouldn't eat any more. I had a really great Monday and Tuesday and came out of my Wednesday weigh-in with a 1 pound 4 oz. loss. I was really happy I was able to balance some things out. The gal I weigh in with made a big deal about how I haven't had a gain, yet. She said she simply doesn't see that. It really did make me feel good. I am proud of what I've done, and the fact that I keep plugging along. In saying this, I know I need to do more. I can do better.
I've done pretty good these past few days. Lynn took my to a fancy schmancy early birthday dinner, and I even practiced some restraint there. Oh boy, did I want to order the fettuccine alfredo or meaty lasagna, but I stayed with a smarter option. I did eat the shit out of some bread though.... Anyway, the meal wasn't a calorie buster, and the company was food for the soul. I have so much love for that woman. She's a great person and wonderful friend. I'm really lucky to have her in my life.
I went through the week without drinking (even dumping out my leftover wine from the Super Bowl this morning) until last night. I went to a concert with some friends. I drank, but not nearly what I planned on. I really had given myself a free pass, but I didn't cash it in. I was just going to drink light beer, and I did have a tall boy, but I had two mixed drinks also. They were pretty weak, but tasty...and because I wasn't thinking after the tall boy, I didn't consider the calories to the drinks. I wouldn't have ordered them. They had juice and all sorts of high calorie stuff in them. Anyway, calories aside it was a nice night with good friends. We were also especially lucky coming home as my friend's husband was driving and we came as close as you can possibly come to hitting a deer without smashing it. I wasn't even sure that we hadn't clipped her when we passed. She was right there, but like Lambo said, she kicked it into high gear as we were braking. I've had a lot of things lately that have made me feel grateful, and that was certainly one of them.
I've finally saved the last professional edit on my book, and I will start work on it tonight or tomorrow. It has been too long, and the book has really been pulling at me lately. Lynn is also a huge inspiration in wanting me to get back to it. She is the most encouraging person I know. I realize it's going to be a giant undertaking, but I think it might be good for my head, too. It would be easy to do nothing, feeling the way I feel lately. I would love to stay in bed all day today, napping and watching t.v., but I choose to live. I got up early and started on chores, have hung out with the kids. I'll take Jesse hiking when I'm done with this. I'll get together with my good friend Jackie at some point this weekend, and enjoy some good company and "This Is Us." For living in a place, I don't think I will ever refer to as "home," I'm grateful to have such great people in my life. Jackie's mom even knitted me a couple of hats. How wonderful is that? Those area really special friends. Anyway, I've been keeping myself really busy lately. I think maybe too busy, working on the book will help to put my in a more even place.
I'm going to have a snack of a boiled egg on toast (I had a smoothie for breakfast), and I'm going to get out there and start my hiking with Jesse. I wish I could talk the boys into hiking with us, but so far no luck. Maybe when the weather gets better.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend doing the things that feed your soul. I'll leave you with a song, that was my favorite from the 90's concert last night. It reminds me of my friend Caity and of a really great night with my friend Shannon and her cousin Jeremy (my boyfriend at the time), of just dancing under the big stars in Alaska in front of the headlights on Shannon's car. Hope this weekend brings you that kind of happiness.
~Jen