The weekend is finally here. This week went out with bang. I hit it way too hard last night. I was out with some coworkers and the drinks were a flyin'. Drinking... I need to get it back under control. There was way too much of it this week. Last night was meant to be a one hour thing, and I was there at least 4.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. I felt like shit this morning and have been pretty lethargic through the day. Alcohol was a terrible kind of depressant for me last night, too. God, I hate that. So... I'm going to take a little break. Who knows, maybe turn the little break into a long break. I think that's a good idea.
We are interested in adopting this dog named Lacey. We applied online, and she was supposed to come out this morning for a home visit. Brian got called into work, though. They won't bring her out unless the whole family is here. So, now we don't get to meet her until next Sat. Dear God, I hope she's a good fit. She seems like she will be. I bought her a bed and stuff yesterday. We are definitely ready for a dog. I was thinking it was meant to be, with it being Mother's day weekend and all. Really bummed about it not working out today. I know I need a dog. I'm desperate for what a dog brings to my heart. Hope it
all works out next weekend!
Speaking of Mother's Day. Lynn IM'd me yesterday that someone had sent me some very nice flowers and to pick them up at the front desk. My heart about leaped out of my chest. I was thinking that Brian had finally sent me flowers for the first time ever. I was so happy. I then quickly that thought he didn't tell me he was spending any money (I handle the finances). So, I figured he probably didn't do it. I then thought it would be this one friend. We do things like that for each other from time to time. I was surprised, but also happy. I've been feeling a little blue lately so was ready for the pickup from whoever it was that was showing me love. I get up there to find that the co. I work for had sent them to each of us mothers. (There's only like 5 of us. The plant is nearly all
men). Now, mind you...that certainly was a surprise to get them from work. But my heart did break a little...or a lot.
After the morning didn't turn out like we hope, Brian having to go into work, and us not meeting what could be our dog. I decided to treat the boys to breakfast at a restaurant. Cal was really excited, but Ryne immediately threw a fit and said he didn't want to go. I let him act like that, and a bit later I told him to get ready because I wanted to spend time with him and he was coming.
He stomped around and while brushing his teeth was throwing a literal fit
yelling, "I don't want to go!" I snapped. I went into the bathroom, had him spit out his toothpaste and sent him to his room. I took the Wii out and told him he was to stay in his room. He had really hurt my feelings, and I wasn't going to put up with being treated like that. He broke down and then wanted to come, but I held my ground. It really broke my heart. It's funny how we would do absolutely anything for our kids and just how much they can take us for granted. Like we aren't real people. It feels like we are just the women who are there to cook, clean, grocery shop, and run them to practices. I know Ryne love me. He truly does, but he's going through a pre-teen stage (he'll be 12 in a couple of days). This stage is not fun. I certainly don't know how equipped I am to handle a teenager.
It's funny how Mother's Day isn't what we all hope and pray for. I was just reading an article that the busiest day of the year for women to sign up for Ashley Madison (the cheating website) is the day after Mother's Day. It's
a day that so many deserving women feel so underappreciated. It's really unfortunate. One of my close friend's is a single mother, and she was just telling me how much she hates the holiday. She finds it so depressing.
Another friend of mine, ties one of the worst experiences of her life to
the holiday weekend. I know my Mom is bound to be disappointed in me, too.
I sent her things too late, so she won't have a card or anything from me
tomorrow. I hope one of my other sisters hit it out of the park for her.
Blah, blah, blah. Enough of all of this whiney ass shit. I took a nap after Cal and I went to breakfast (and post office to mail late bday cards and Mother's Day
stuff). Thank God for the nap. It gave Ryne time to really think about
everything and he seems truly sorry. It gave me sleep. A decent sleep. Those have been hard to come by lately. It's horrible weather out there, so I'm holed up in my room, writing this while listening to Natalie Maines new c.d. Of course, I love it. I love her. The music, the clicking of the keys, and the rain pounding against the window are all a very curiously soothing sound. After this, I think I'm going to start reading, "Whole, Rethinking the Science of Nutrition." Amy bought it for me, and it just came today. It's written by the same man who wrote, "The China Study." This book looks much easier to read the TCS was, though. I'm looking forward to the inspiration found in these pages. I'm ready. The only way I'm going to start feeling better, is if I start taking care of myself. I need to start putting myself first. I've taken some steps this week to do just that. I'm so desperate to be the person I know I really am.
To all of you mothers out there. I really hope you are able to enjoy your weekend. Kids truly are the greatest gift we'll ever know. We all know that. It's also the hardest work we'll ever know. I hope you're afforded a day of pampering. Hey, even if you have to do it for yourself. Treat yourself like the Queen you are. And whatever you do, please don't sign up on Ashley fucking Madison.