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Diariesofafatass.com

Inspiration at its finest

1/24/2016

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As we are well aware, I've been yammering on non-stop about finally pulling it together: eating healthy, working out, being kind to myself...you know the usual Jen bullshit.  I've talked about this stuff several times with a co-worker, who has also known her own struggles with her weight.  We are friends, but I can't say that we really know each other all that well.  When we talk about food, though, it's a connection unlike any I've ever known.  We have battled the same issues for a very long time. Food is the fix all, it's the social connection, it's boredom, it's happiness, it's sadness, it's anger, it's....there.  Anyway, it has been cool to know someone that really relates to my struggles.  I've known her for about a year now, and we have the same conversations about wanting to lose weight, what our plan is, how we are starting on Monday, you know all the normal stuff.  About four months ago, she actually did start on Monday, and she started in a huge way.  She joined the Cross Fit craze that has grabbed hold of many of my co-workers.  It hasn't been an easy journey for her, as it isn't for anyone, but lately there's been a real change in her.  She loves it.  It has become a big part of her life.  And when you work that hard at something, you don't want to it be for not, so your diet follow suit.  Anyway, yesterday I watched her perform at her first Cross Fit competition.  I can't tell you how proud I am of her.  She really kicked some ass.  I'd never been to one of these things, and wow...inspiring...  I've done a lot of thinking about how these past few months I've thought about starting something, and I've had the conversation in my head.  What's happened in the past four months for me? I've gained more weight. I've added to my heaviest weight of my life. I've become more physically and mentally drained.  I've chosen to do this with my four months, while she has chosen to change her life.  She's my new hero.  She's my new inspiration.  She's the reason, I'll tear my house apart trying to find my fitbit today.

I've spent my morning thinking about the above, about how to find my "Cross Fit," and just planning in general.  I need to go back to making lists of things I need to get done every day.  Not the soccer mom list, but the list, where I mark off making time for myself, eating veggies with all meals, taking time for extra long prayers, that kind of stuff.  I've also been listening to music.  Every song takes me on a different road, how a friend likes the song, how I've seen it on Storytellers, that concert, how perfect lyrics are, etc.  Slut Like You just started, and it reminds me of a friend who would randomly text the lyric, "I'm not a slut. I just love, love" after we saw Pink in concert a few years ago.  Anyway, just lost in it all.  It's one of those days where I just want to turn my phone off, but I can't...Ryne will need to be picked up in a bit, Brian's in Chicago, etc.  But I'm pulling myself up by the boot straps, and I'm making myself do a couple of things that require leaving the house, when it would be so easy to start a fire and stay home all day.  Ahhh, but there's a baby I need to see :)  I'll get to meet Everett for the first time today.  I haven't been around a baby in a really long time.  I'm looking forward to seeing him and Laura.  Cal is stoked, too.  You Can't Make Old Friends is on now.  And there's no truer statement than that, huh?  Anyway, I'll leave you with a song I hadn't heard in a while.  I'm sure I heard it the first time on The Voice.  I really should watch this season.  It was one of my faves.   
Happy Sunday All!

Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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