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Diariesofafatass.com

Inconsistency

4/25/2012

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Sorry, my entries have been so inconsistent lately.  It’s hard without a  computer at home.  Sometimes Brian remembers to bring home his laptop, sometimes not.  And I don’t always have time to do this from work, but I’ll keep plugging along as allowed.

Well, Monday continued to be a really good day, all the way around.  A supplier had given me Cubs tix, and I gave them to Brian, so he could take Ryne. 
Oh, they had an absolute blast. The Cubs actually won, and in the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs, none the less. Cal and I stayed in town and had a date night. 
C wanted to go to the local diner….which I’m not a fan of, but he loves it.  After that, we went home, and I made some tomato bisque soup (my fave of all the vegan recipes). We then took Junior for a walk. After that, we played “Operation,” and thank God for failing batteries, it allowed Caleb to walk right through the game.  So, he felt good about it, and I didn’t have to put up with a tantrum. He’s come a long way with his game play, but his temper still comes out quite often. Part of it’s probably handed down from me, while most of it has to do with his Autism related issues.  I knew the other boys weren’t going to be home until really late, so I let Cal sleep with me.  When we were lying there, he was talking about some issues at school, and for the first time, Caleb mentioned that he had Autism.  I don’t recall him ever referring to himself as having it.  I wonder if another kid brought it up?….
 
So, that segued into my day full of stress yesterday.  At work, I was in an
all-day meeting, which gave me way too much time to think about some of his
school issues.  Anyway, I made some poor food choices.  The whole day wasn’t a total loss, as they had been recently, but it wasn’t nearly as good as it should’ve been.  My crankiness lasted the day (along w/ the P.M.S, which I’m sure didn’t help).  The night ended with Brian and me watching Biggest Loser. 
Was this the worst season ever, or what?  Ugh. Nearly unwatchable….  Thank
God for that body on Dolvette.  It still gives me a reason to stick with it.
 
I slept okay in parts, last night.  But I did get up today, wanting to make better choices than I did yesterday.  So far, so good.  My plan is to go to the club after
work, if Brian is going to get off early enough.  If not, I’ll do the treadmill at
home.  Working out is such a key ingredient to me having success.  I really don’t enjoy it, but it makes me think of how many calories I burned, as  opposed to what I’m putting in my mouth. I don’t want to waste them. I love it when I’m actually conscious about what goes into my body. There are sometimes when I feel like I’m in an eating competition with myself, and its total self-destruction. Thank God, I’m not there now.  One day at a time.  I’ve been overwhelmed with the gravity of my weight and health situation lately.  So, I just need to take it one step at a time, I guess.  All the while, trying not to be too hard on myself.
 
I hope this entry finds you well.  Miss you, my friends.
 
~Jen
 
Food:
 6:30  “Green” juice (same as Monday)
 7:45  90 cal. Oatmeal raisin granola bar (I need actual food to take my antibiotic in preparation for the Lasik.  I learned that the hard way), 20 oz. Diet Coke (took 2 ½ hours to drink)
 10:00 Banana
 11:45 Tomato Bisque soup (see recipe, although I used almonds  instead of cashews.  Can’t tell the difference.
4:45  Glass of Green juice
8:00  Bowl of Kashi cereal w/ soy milk 


Exercise:
Took Junior for 1/3 mile walk, then walked about 3 ½ miles
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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