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Diariesofafatass.com

If You Could Read My Mind...

5/25/2015

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I guess the key to getting more people to read this thing, is not to post anything. Ha!  I was very surprised to see the numbers when I logged on...  Not sure how people know about it, but it warms my heart to know there are people out there who read this.  Speaking of this blog....  I'm giving serious thought to revamping this thing.  As we know, my goal when I started this was to show people healthy weight loss is possible and wanted to share my journey.  Well, I've gained a fuck load of weight.  Yep.  By far, I'm at the heaviest I've ever been.  I feel like shit.  I'm on all sorts of meds and other depressing things, BUT that's about to change.  You know what...I'm going to change it....  The mental battle has been going on for a while now, and I've definitely made progress, and it's time to start putting that progress to work.  I'm not sure how I'm going to revamp this, but I think it's time for a clean start.  Maybe I'll save everything to an archive (if that's even possible) and write a new Home page. 

Every spare moment of my life has gone to the book lately.  I'm happy to say that my editor has gone through it twice now (and I've edited off of her edit).  I'm unhappy to say, I still have a lot of work to do.  The whole process is making me bonkers, so I'm going to take a step back for a few weeks (at my editor's heavy suggestion, LOL).  I'm much closer to be done, but of course I wish it was time to throw a book cover on this son of a bitch and call it a day.  I say that half in jest.  I do love it.  I love the story.  I love the accomplishment.  I just wish I were better at the writing part of it.  I'd never done this type of writing, and it's a whole new ballgame. 

This long weekend has been a real blessing.  I was sick going into the weekend, and it has been really nice to get lots of rest.  I've watched a couple of movies, which isn't something I do a lot of.  I tried to watch 50 Shades of Grey.  I had to turn it off.  It was that bad.  I loved the books, but the movie just wasn't for me.  I watched Sex Tape (Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel) last night.  OMG.  That was so freaking funny!  Yes, I see the theme...a lot of sex in my selections.  Hey, what can I say?  I am who I am.  I do have another yet to watch, at my friend's suggestion, Something or other... Ways to Die in the West with oh, I'm spacing on his name...the Family Guy creator.  I even went back to the book I was reading before my own book, grabbed me by the short hairs and wouldn't let go: "Everybody's Got Something" by Robin Roberts.  I finished it earlier tonight.  What a great, inspiring read.  I can't recommend it enough.  I'm hoping to draw inspiration from her and others that overcome such terrible illnesses... People fight so hard.  I need that fight against my weight.  It's going to kill me if I don't.  Back to the weekend, last night I saw Gordon Lightfoot in concert with my friend Laura.  I will say this...he's the best 76 y/o I've ever seen in concert ;)  It was nice to get out and hang with Laura.  We went out to dinner first, but a frantic Caleb called me to tell me there was a tornado warning.  Caleb loses it.  I felt so helpless.  Thank God for my friend Jackie.  She came and picked my kids up and took them to her house until I got home from the show.  Today I had a really awesome talk with my editor.  She's so great.  She's paid up, and her part is done, but she's still very much involved and offering her help.  I thank God I was lucky enough to find her.  After the talk, we went over to Jackie's house for a nice BBQ.  We had a wonderful time.  I came home to make some SW Bean soup (recipe on here) and chocolate almond dip (recipe also on here).  I'm feeling inspired. I truly am.

I'm ready to start turning this weight issue around.  If you're interested in joining me, shoot me a message.
Hope your weekend has been good and reflective.  I hope our veterans are in your prayers today and everyday.

Much Love,

Jen
Oh, here's the lyrics to one of my fave Gordon Lightfoot songs:
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feelings gone and I just can't get it back.
If You Could Read My MindBy Gordon LightfootIf you could read my mind love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet.
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I'm a ghost that you can see.

If I could read your mind love,
What a tale your thoughts could tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
The kind the drugstore sells.
When you reach the part where the heartaches
Come the hero would be me.
Heroes often fail.
And you won't read that book again
Because the endings just to hard to take.

I walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script.
Enter number two, a movie queen
To play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me,
But for now love lets be real.

I never thought I could act this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feelings gone and I just can't get it back.

If you could read my mind love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet the story always ends.
And if you read between the lines
You'll know that I'm just trying to understand
The feeling that you left.

I never thought I could feel this way
And I got to say that I just don't get it.
I don't know where we went wrong
But the feelings gone
And I just can't get it back.












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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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