How to kill a perfectly good buzz.

So, today was not the greatest day at work...and I must admit that Friday wasn't either.  I left there, late, with a headache, and on my hour plus drive (now there's construction in 3 fucking places along my drive) Brian calls asking me to p/u a pizza on the way for the boys.  The "pizza place" is actually at a convenience store in the town that Brian works (town of 500).  So, I decided to walk across the street to the one bar, while they made the pizza.  I was hoping the 1 beer would take the edge of the day off a bit.  It's Brian's birthday, and I really didn't want to be moody for him.  Of course the beer didn't help, so when I got home, I had another one.  Brian was totally beat tonight, as he had to climb 3 towers today.  Have you seen those wind turbines?  That's a lot of climbing!  Anyhow, he wasn't up for much other than laying down and watching t.v.  So, I decided to relax myself with a bath.  I was still wound tight when I got out.  Now, here's where I think I started to make the wrong decisions and kill the nice, innocent buzz that was starting to begin.  I went from microbeer to Coors Light.  Now, normally I like the CL.  I've even been on the factory tour in Golden, CO.  But tonight, eh, not so smart.  It's like drinking water anymore.  So, CL in hand, I decided to do some juicing  Who doesn't do that while drinking?  (btw...I really hope the fact that I used zuccinni instead of cucumbers totally didn't fuck it up...but that's getting off base).  Juicing takes freaking forever...  I don't especially like doing it, but I really like the end product.  So, during the hour it took me to juice and clean up, etc.  I probably drank more CL than I realized.  However, I felt no buzz, whatsoever.  I then decided to do laundry and do heavy cleaning.  WTF?  Sit down, and enjoy the warmth of the beer, Jen, you've had a shitty day!  I cleaned so hard, that I was sweating.  You know how that goes.  So, I was like damn!  I've ruined my buzz!  But, I turned around and and did more cleaning along with some more drinking.  Finally, I was satisfied with everything, and did what I'd wanted to do all night.  I sat down, cracked open a beer and started to play, Words.  It quickly became obvious to me, that I had been sorely mistaken in thinking that the drinking didn't have an effect on me.  I knew I was looped.  I was none too happy.  I like a nice little buzz.  I do not like to be drunk.  What control freak does?  Anyway, I decide to chill out and just finish playing before going to bed.  I had Sirius Radio on in the background, and this song that I really love came on, and guess wtf happened.  I started to cry!  For fucks sakes.  I don't think a song has ever made me cry in my life!  And for the love of God, I've heard this song a million times.  Why now?  I can blame it on the beer, and I'll blame it on my stupid period.  But really what it comes down to, is I think I've turned into a huge pussy in my old age.  Who would've thought?  I certainly never would've.  Of course, everyone had been asleep for hours, so it's not like the family saw me like this, but geez.  Enough is enough.  So, while I might not have killed the buzz, as initially thought.  I did learn some lessons tonight.  I know what you're thinking...how about not drinking so much?  I can honestly tell you,  I haven't really considered that tonight.  What I take away from the night, is to not waste a buzz on being a cleaning nazzi.  And I certainly shouldn't spend a nice little buzz juicing.  I need to sit my fat ass down, like a normal person and unwind.  So, the next time I drink, no doubt will be within the next seven days, I'll also take into consideration to stick to the micros.  I know my limits with those.  I don't lose count.  They don't go down like water. 

Am I rambling tonight?  I've no idea why :)  I feel bad that Brian had to work his ass off today and couldn't enjoy his day.  I'm glad that we decided to celebrate yesterday.  And since I was with him all weekend, I couldn't grab his gift.  I ran up to Walmart today, to get him a couple of books that he wants (one of which is on the NYT Best Sellers list-his "girlfriend" Rachel Maddow).  Walmart had the smallest book dept. I've ever seen.  It's so sad.  Gone are the days of the book.  My favorite gift to buy for people, are books.  I love to read books.  The thought of reading them off of something electronic quite frankly gets to every fiber of my being.  But.... that's the way everything is headed.  I've even thought about it.  I spend so much on books.   Plus, stupid
Amazon is now taking forever to ship stuff.  I ordered some books last week and rec'd them within a few days.  I won't receive these for 7-10 days.  Sniff, sniff, this inc. the next installments of Fifty Shades.  When I recently bought a gift for someone off of Amazon, it also took about 10 days or so to get there.  I'm not a conspiracy theorist...but maybe there's something behind this.  J/K.  I'm really not smart enough to be a conspiracy theorist. 

I know this has been the worst blog entry every.  So, I do apologize.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  Oh, I ate like crap today. 

Jen