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Diariesofafatass.com

Hey, something actually triggers my memory

5/9/2012

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I’m actually in a really good mood today, despite  waking up at 4.  By the time I left for work, the sun was out, and I had the music cranked.  I’m not big on listening to 80’s for too long at a time.  Lord knows I’ve heard all of those songs a million times by now.  But today, I just enjoyed the hour long  drive, and let the memories take over.   First I heard, Time After Time, which I realize is a brilliant song, but it never really had an impact on my life until a few years ago.  My old “work boyfriend’s” sister told me a story about them being stoned
recently (at the time), and they were watching t.v.  Apparently Time After Time
was used in a photo commercial and WB started to bawl like a little b!tch, and
told everyone, “this song is just so beautiful.”  LMAO.  Good stuff. So, of course now, I always think of him and crying to that song.  Next I heard, Hold On, by Wilson Phillips. Usually when I hear WP, I think of my cousin Holley and how much she loved them when we were in h.s.  But this time, I remembered Amy singing it karaoke. I can’t remember where or when exactly, but I do know it was after Bridesmaids came out.  Amy nailed the song, and I loved doing the stupid Bridesmaids dance to it  at the end of the song, when the drum part comes in. I did the “mirror” on her, I guess that’s what it’s called, and then
squeezed her boobs.  Haha. Good times.  The last song I heard on the drive was, I Keep Forgettin’ by Michael McDonald. OMG, I love that man.  I
don’t find him handsome in the traditional sense, but there’s something about
his music.  Let me tell you this,  if you don’t find yourself reacting
to that song, you should probably make an appointment with the Gyno.  Your lady parts aren’t working  right.  Good Lord I love  music.  I seriously don’t know what  I’d do without it in my life.

I have my follow up with the Lasik Dr. today.  Please think good thoughts for me.  I sooooo want this.  The good news is my rosacea has cleared up quite a bit, which is what he  wanted to see. But I have no idea  about the thing under my eye lids.  I’ve been taking the drops.  Hope they worked!  Also,  during the process, I haven’t been allowed to wear contacts.  So, I’ve had to wear my glasses the past 5 weeks.  I don’t have prescription sunglasses, so it’s pretty much  sucked.

The past few days of eating have really been all over  the place.  Monday started so  well.  I was home for the morning,  before Cal’s I.E.P.  I had a
smoothie, took Junior for a walk, and then did a couple of miles on the
treadmill.  Well, then the I.E.P.  came around.  It’s been a long time
since I’ve been emotional in one of those things, but I had a hard time with
that one.  I was upset about what  Caleb’s going through, and just as upset, that Cal’s teacher hadn’t relayed any  of the information to Cal’s team. 
So, they were blindsided by everything.  They had mentioned that he hadn’t
seemed himself the past couple of weeks, etc. before we even got into
  everything.  All in all, I don’t  know if it’s Cal’s inability to deal with anything unplanned, or typical  reactions to things that other kids might have to things that Caleb doesn’t  get.  I don’t know. The school really would like to make some changes to benefit Caleb next  year, but I just don’t think they’re equipped to give Caleb the support I think  he needs.  Anyway, after a good,
healthy morning, I left there, knowing I was going to eat poorly.   In fact, I called Brian after the meeting and told him I was going to do  so.  Nothing like an emotional eater, who knows that they’re doing it.  Pretty f’d up.  So, this
week has not been without stress.  My mornings have all started well, with a smoothie or green juice and a banana.  It’s the rest of the day,  where I’ve done poorly.  Hopefully after I get today over with, I can get a better grip on
things.


I Miss You by Blink 182 is on Pandora now.  I heard it  recently on here, and it reminded me of Dee and I singing it many, many times  at Lindo.  I’d totally forgotten about it.  I do have a karaoke song after all.  I thought I did good on
this one, but I’m sure it’s just because I let Dee take the lead and I held the
microphone far from my mouth :)  But hey, it made me feel like a singer.  
 
Here’s to a great day for all of us.

~Jen



Lyrics to I Miss You (they’re fairly morbid, but if you don’t know the song, you should  check it out.  Cool melody)

 (I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the  angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally  if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so  haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call youand hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain
tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're
already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste
your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss
you)
[x3]

(I miss you, I miss you)
[x4]

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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