Happy period? WTF? I've known that Aunt Flow was knocking at my door for several days. But I never know....when she'll hit. I was really hoping it'd come along, as the thought of camping next weekend on my period was an absolutely terrifying thought. So, when she arrived this morning, I was pretty happy. Yep. A smile came to my face. Plus, a relief in knowing that two or three days from now, I'll start to feel better.
As usual, Aunt Flow leaves me pretty drained. But thankfully, today for the first time in quite a while, we had absolutely nowhere to be. Yet another reason I'm glad she hit today. And you know what? It's been a fantastic day! Brian and I had a great morning. We then both got some cleaning done. The terrible scratches on my legs (from hiking a couple weeks ago) had finally healed enough that I was able to shave the forest growing on my legs. We got to spend some time w/ the boys. All this, and I had plenty of time to start a new book. I'm reading, "The Host." What a fantastic book. I'm so glad the Hunger Games series really opened me up to this sci-fi type stuff. I love finding something new like this. I think I may have to read this series I've heard a thing or two about next. I believe it's called, Twilight :) So, even w/ the strong cramps and bleeding of today, I must say this is my favorite day in quite some time. It really is.
Another higlight of the day, was a phone call from my friend Gerry. We've been playing phone tag forever. You may remember that G is my friend that was in the terrible mountain biking accident that nearly took his life the day after Christmas. It's simply amazing everything that he's gone through, and the determination that keeps leading him forward. For three days the Dr.'s didn't think he'd survive, then didn't think he'd move, nor walk, etc. Now, G can do some walking and is able to use his left hand. It's a very long road to recovery that he's on. His days are incredibly long and rehab based. But he has such a positive attitude and is so thankful to be alive. The Dr.'s are confident that he'll be able to get a lot of his movement back in a year and a half or so. He has to work so very hard for every little thing, though. Once again, thinking of him, puts so much into perpective for me. I competely take forgranted the fact that I have a well working body, despite being obese. I trash my body, while someone I love works so hard for all that I take forgranted. I really have been on a tear lately with my horrible eating habits and inactivity. I know it's self sabotage. My subconscience has won again, I fear. I wanted to be in shape for this vacation on Friday. I wanted to feel good about myself. Well, my actions were in exact opposite of what I wanted. I've been feeling very bad about it. So bad, that I've been feeling like I need to apologize to Amy for the physical shape that I will show up in. I feel like an embarrassment. But once again, I need to put it all in perspective. After talking to G today, I feel so small even at the thought that I could let my weight ruin my thoughts on a trip. I have to have faith that the people that love me are going to love me no matter how fat my face, and rest of body. It's a joke to even waste any time thinking about it anymore. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this trip. I'm going to enjoy this wonderful life that God has allowed me. A life that I never have thought I'm deserving of. Time to pull myself up by the boot straps, and do what I can to make sure that I enjoy every second of this ride called life. G rocks the hell out of this life. It's not easy for him, but he feels so blessed to be alive. I will work on not taking my own life for granted. This life has given me so much...things I never thought I'd have....love, children, and amazing friends.... Ramble, ramble, ramble...I'm just feeling so grateful for all that I have. And for the millionth time, I'm telling myself to start treating my body as my temple. To act like food is gasoline to my car. To run good a car needs gasoline. If you put shit in there, the car runs like shit. Just like when I put shit in my body, my body/mind run like shit.
Fuck. I can get off on a tangent like nobody's business. Anyway, back to my great day. I rarely watch t.v. anymore, but I think I might indulge in a little Kardashian's tonight. haha. Hopefully I can get Brian to watch it with me. It shouldn't be too hard. He acts like he hates it, but if he leaves the room, he'll have me pause it :)
Hope you all are having a wonderful, safe weekend.
Jen
As usual, Aunt Flow leaves me pretty drained. But thankfully, today for the first time in quite a while, we had absolutely nowhere to be. Yet another reason I'm glad she hit today. And you know what? It's been a fantastic day! Brian and I had a great morning. We then both got some cleaning done. The terrible scratches on my legs (from hiking a couple weeks ago) had finally healed enough that I was able to shave the forest growing on my legs. We got to spend some time w/ the boys. All this, and I had plenty of time to start a new book. I'm reading, "The Host." What a fantastic book. I'm so glad the Hunger Games series really opened me up to this sci-fi type stuff. I love finding something new like this. I think I may have to read this series I've heard a thing or two about next. I believe it's called, Twilight :) So, even w/ the strong cramps and bleeding of today, I must say this is my favorite day in quite some time. It really is.
Another higlight of the day, was a phone call from my friend Gerry. We've been playing phone tag forever. You may remember that G is my friend that was in the terrible mountain biking accident that nearly took his life the day after Christmas. It's simply amazing everything that he's gone through, and the determination that keeps leading him forward. For three days the Dr.'s didn't think he'd survive, then didn't think he'd move, nor walk, etc. Now, G can do some walking and is able to use his left hand. It's a very long road to recovery that he's on. His days are incredibly long and rehab based. But he has such a positive attitude and is so thankful to be alive. The Dr.'s are confident that he'll be able to get a lot of his movement back in a year and a half or so. He has to work so very hard for every little thing, though. Once again, thinking of him, puts so much into perpective for me. I competely take forgranted the fact that I have a well working body, despite being obese. I trash my body, while someone I love works so hard for all that I take forgranted. I really have been on a tear lately with my horrible eating habits and inactivity. I know it's self sabotage. My subconscience has won again, I fear. I wanted to be in shape for this vacation on Friday. I wanted to feel good about myself. Well, my actions were in exact opposite of what I wanted. I've been feeling very bad about it. So bad, that I've been feeling like I need to apologize to Amy for the physical shape that I will show up in. I feel like an embarrassment. But once again, I need to put it all in perspective. After talking to G today, I feel so small even at the thought that I could let my weight ruin my thoughts on a trip. I have to have faith that the people that love me are going to love me no matter how fat my face, and rest of body. It's a joke to even waste any time thinking about it anymore. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this trip. I'm going to enjoy this wonderful life that God has allowed me. A life that I never have thought I'm deserving of. Time to pull myself up by the boot straps, and do what I can to make sure that I enjoy every second of this ride called life. G rocks the hell out of this life. It's not easy for him, but he feels so blessed to be alive. I will work on not taking my own life for granted. This life has given me so much...things I never thought I'd have....love, children, and amazing friends.... Ramble, ramble, ramble...I'm just feeling so grateful for all that I have. And for the millionth time, I'm telling myself to start treating my body as my temple. To act like food is gasoline to my car. To run good a car needs gasoline. If you put shit in there, the car runs like shit. Just like when I put shit in my body, my body/mind run like shit.
Fuck. I can get off on a tangent like nobody's business. Anyway, back to my great day. I rarely watch t.v. anymore, but I think I might indulge in a little Kardashian's tonight. haha. Hopefully I can get Brian to watch it with me. It shouldn't be too hard. He acts like he hates it, but if he leaves the room, he'll have me pause it :)
Hope you all are having a wonderful, safe weekend.
Jen
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