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Diariesofafatass.com

Goodbye 2015. Hello 2016!

1/3/2016

4 Comments

 
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As is custom, I've just read through the past year of this blog.  This year I did less writing than normal years, but it was still interesting to go back through time like that.  In reading this, I could often put myself into that exact moment of writing: where I was sitting, the things going through my head as I decided how to let it come out.  I could feel the pain, the joy, the hope of the year.  If I weren't going to look too deep and I'd think quickly back to last year, I'd think of it as the year of loss.  The pain of the loss of the Other Misty, and the pain of the loss of Jace (coincidentally, today he would be one year old).  The agony that came with those losses will always be with me. They'll always be in my prayers, but the year was full of so many things.  Ryne began high school, while Cal went into Middle School.  Ryno felt better physically this year, and was able to play baseball, football, and do track.  He loved it all.  It's been so fun to watch him and watch is confidence grow everyday.  Cal played baseball, but his first love is swim.  He had the meet of his life at our home meet, The Turkey Shoot.  He medaled in all of his events and had personal best times in every race. 
After move after move over the past 5 years, we finally settled permanently (well, as permanently as buying a house gets you) here in Byron. They boys are in their second straight school year here and will be here until they graduate high school.  I feel good about giving them this sense of stability, even if living out here is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. 
Brian began a new position with the company he's been with the past five years.  He no longer has to climb those giant wind turbines anymore. He now troubleshoots from a nice, warm office.  He loves it, although the days/hours are hard. Getting used to his new schedule has been difficult at times, but he does love it and he's really earned where he has gotten at this point in his career.
Once again, the book took up a lot of my time, although I've taken a really big break from it the past few months.  As is my want, I can pick the thing apart, boy can I, but on the whole: I'm really proud of it.  I'm proud of the story.  I love the characters, and I think about them all the time.  I'm so grateful to my editor for teaching me so much this past year.  Lesley is one of the people I'm certainly most grateful for in 2015 and I'm sure I'll feel the same way at the end of this year.  I'm also blessed beyond measure for the friends that have been my beta readers.  Lynn and Jackie read the first "final rough draft," before going through the editing process.  They've also read the final draft after the content editing.  I really couldn't ask for kinder words from those ladies.  And you know what...if I'd never moved here, I'd never have known them.  I think of that often. 
Speaking of living here....lately I've been so homesick (for both WA and AK) lately, that it's been a daily struggle to embrace being out here.  But I am so blessed to have made the friends I've made this past year.  Through work, I've really made some close friendships.  I've never had a brother, but I think of co-worker Jim as my brother.  My co-worker Cindy, helped me through the loss of the Other Misty, when I didn't know her that well.  That created a bond, that we'll always have. I've also made some other good friendships that I feel so lucky to have (including someone who has become one of my closest friends).  In fact, I've been in bed, sick, all day.  A stupid cold has kicked my ass.  There was a group text with some coworkers, and they know I plan on getting my ass in gear tomorrow as far as diet....and get this, one of the gals offered to bring my in a smoothie, some fruit and lunch tomorrow, since I wasn't able to get my shopping done today. That's way fucking awesome.  So, as much as it hurts my heart everyday to be so far from my family and the friends I've had for so many years, I'm grateful to 2015 for showing me it's never too late to develop deep, meaningful friendships.  And trust me, I'm guarded with who I let in and who I let allow myself to love, so this is pretty big.
I could look back and focus on all of the weight I've gained this year (the most of my life).  I could look at the new stretch marks.  I could think of how I beat myself up all the time about how I can't believe how people could like or love, for that matter, someone who wears their stresses on their body, the way I do.  But I can't ruin a whole year by thinking of those things.  I can only approach each day, as I do, trying to stop being so hard on myself.  Tomorrow is a new day, and it's a new year.  A year to focus on getting myself healthy both mentally and physically.  A year of focusing on all of the good that is in my life, and there is so much good.  Here's to a new year my friends.  May we all feel the peace and love we deserve, with every breath
I'll leave you with the song that seemed to have the biggest affect of any song this year with my friends.  It's a beautiful song, that seems to have been written for women of our age.  We all have that woman inside of us that we remember, but she isn't gone-she's still ours.  And she fucking rocks.
Cheers to 2016!
Jen
4 Comments
Asha
1/3/2016 05:40:18 pm

Here's to an amazing 2016. That song says it all Jen!! Made me cry. I can relate with a lot of what you talked about with diet, and why I eat. I'm working on getting to where I'm happy with me, know I need no one(or chocolate bar) but me to fill "the void". Thank you for sharing today!! I love you my friend!
Ash

Reply
Jen
1/3/2016 07:19:16 pm

Thanks for always being there for me Asha. May this be the year that we conquer some of our inner demons. Xo. Jen

Reply
Kara Carey
1/3/2016 08:39:05 pm

One day at a time my friend... here's to 2016! I'm so happy you have found some wonderful friendships in your new town. They are lucky to have you in their lives! I miss you!!! Miles keep us apart but never forget you are one my dearest friends. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes - because then you'd see how awesome you are. Inside and out! Love you - HAPPY NEW YEAR! PS what is it with gaining weight when you move??? HOLY CRAP... i have managed to pack on 35 lbs and so one day at a time i'm working on getting myself healthy again - let's keep in touch and cheer each other on. LOVE YOU! Thanks for sharing... i'm dying to read your book!!! Can't wait! I want a signed copy of course! XOOXOXOXOX

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Caity
1/3/2016 11:24:22 pm

Love you Jen! I'm so glad to call you friend, and I love reading your words.

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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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