I've been off for the last month or so, like really off. My sleep is so messed up. I've been working hard and playing even harder. I need to get closer to my center again. Deep down, I know the center will be closer once I eat healthy again and add exercise to my life...I do...know this... But each day, it's an I'll start tomorrow kind of thing, because you're just trying to make it through the day you're in. So, writing isn't a good diet or exercise, but I'm hoping it will help get me closer to the center. It's funny, I don't even recognize myself right now. It's like I'm on the outside watching this person that's posing as me, but she doesn't know who she is. I had a conversation about this today with a good friend, and she's feeling exactly the same way. She thinks maybe it's our age. Maybe this is just what the forty-something woman goes through? I have no answers. I'm just hoping that I start to figure it out, because it's hard to not know who you are. I've let myself get caught in the stress of everyday things, kids, work, marriage, being a pet owner, and this house purchase is just too much I guess. Time to pull it together. And I start, by writing this simple rambling post, that can't possibly make sense to anyone, because it's written by someone who doesn't even make sense to herself. But here's hoping that this first step toward finding the center, leads to the next.
I'm adding this video for She Used to Be Mine by Sara Barreiles. This song is brilliant, and I truly think it speaks to nearly all women. I hope you enjoy it. Seriously, you've got to listen.
Enjoy your evening-and here's hoping your enjoying your center.