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Diariesofafatass.com

Feeling alive!

11/14/2011

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It's been a really busy few days!  Slowly, but surely, the weight has been lifting off my chest.  I can actually feel the anxiety lessening in my body.  Thank God!  I feel human....what a difference.  When my anxiety is so bad, it just feeds into everything bad.  I blame myself for everything and carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I can't see outside of it.  Even looking back at it, it's like looking into a fog.  Oh, how I hate it.  Hopefully it's gone for a very, very long time!

My friend Tami (aka Cookie)  was here from Thurs to today.  What a wonderful visit!  We got lots of night life in, along w/ lots of chill time.  It was the perfect combination.  My absolute fave part of the visit was on Sat.  We went into "town," and I took her out to the Canal for a walk.  It was such a beautiful day!  Super nippy, but way pretty.  We walked for about 4 1/2 miles.  We had an amazing talk about how our grandparents got together and all things family.  Those aren't things people talk about much, but when you do it feels so good.  I love my Grandma so much.  I miss her all of the time.  After our walk, we went to take a picture of my in front of this Schlitz sign in front of this old shit hole bar.  We decided, what the heck, let's go in and have a drink.  And what do you know?!  They had Schlitz!  Last I knew they didn't make it anymore.  Apparently, it's back, and so I choked one down for Grandma.  Schlitz was also the first been I ever drank.  My Grandma had hidden it in a sleeping bag up in the attic (she hid money and her beer :)  My cousins and I found it, and chugged it down.  We were pretty young, but I'm not sure what age.  I just remember it being so hot and disgusting tasting.  I puked it up right into that sleeping bag. 
After our drink we went to Wal-Mart (have I mentioned how much I hate that store?)  I had 2 shoe boxes that I needed to fill for kids in Africa (through the church).  It's quite challenging to fit everything you want into that box.  Anyway, I was doing one for a boy, and one for a girl.  I think Cookie thought I wasn't doing the girl one girlie enough, so she decided to fill it.  Too funny.  She did a much better job than I would've.  She bought her a purse and jewelery and stuff.  Too cool.  After we were done, we stopped in and had a bite to eat and a couple of drinks in town.  After that, came in and I got ready, so we could hit "The Nut."  We went to the local watering hole, where Cookie got to experience, first hand, just how weird it is here.  It's so crazy.  People just don't seem to have any social skills.  If I had a few dollars for every time some older guy tried to impress me by how many acres he owns (the last guy had 2500), or by how wrong they've been done by women, I'd have enough to buy a couple pitchers :)  It was good that Cookie got to see the whole picture of it around here.  Anyway, it was a fantastic visit.  It really couldn't have been any better!
So, now that the fog is lifting, I've decided to hire a trainer.  Since I'm currently hemorraging from this stupid period, I think I'll wait a couple of days.  I'm so excited, though.  I'm really, really excited!
Hope you guys are having a great day!

~Jen
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    Jen

    Age 47
    Married 24 years
    2 boys, 18 & 15
    email: diariesofafatass@gmail.com


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